Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids! [Paperback]

Scott Turansky (Author), Joanne Miller (Author)

Book Description

Release date: September 17, 2002

Parents often feel angry when their children do the wrong things. But responding to children in anger rarely brings about the desired result and can even have a damaging effect instead. Yet anger doesn’t have to be the enemy. It can be a trigger that makes parents even more effective. Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller show them how.

Recognizing the very real emotions parents feel, Good and Angry taps into the constructive side of parents’ anger and teaches welcome strategies for addressing the things their children do to drive them crazy. Addressing common problem areas for children–such as annoying behavior, lying, not following instructions, and bad attitudes–this book outlines seven routines that will help children improve in these areas and allow them to thrive in their relationship with parents and with others.

In Good and Angry, moms and dads will come to understand anger’s true purpose and how they can use it successfully in their day-to-day parenting. They will also learn new approaches that will solve many common problems and, in the process, help both them and their children grow closer to God.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Parents often feel angry when their children do the wrong things. But responding to children in anger rarely brings about the desired result and can even have a damaging effect instead. Yet anger doesn?t have to be the enemy. It can be a trigger that makes parents even more effective. Dr. Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller show them how.

Recognizing the very real emotions parents feel, Good and Angry taps into the constructive side of parents? anger and teaches welcome strategies for addressing the things their children do to drive them crazy. Addressing common problem areas for children?such as annoying behavior, lying, not following instructions, and bad attitudes?this book outlines seven routines that will help children improve in these areas and allow them to thrive in their relationship with parents and with others.

In Good and Angry, moms and dads will come to understand anger?s true purpose and how they can use it successfully in their day-to-day parenting. They will also learn new approaches that will solve many common problems and, in the process, help both them and their children grow closer to God.

About the Author

Dr. Scott Turansky, D.Min. is a family coach who works with children and their parents each week. He directed a preschool for eight years and has been a pastor for over two decades. Dr. Turansky and his wife Carrie have five children and live in New Jersey. Joanne Miller, RN, BSN, is a pediatric nurse, author, and public speaker. She and her husband Ed live in New Jersey with their two boys. Turansky and Miller are the co-founders of Effective Parenting, an organization that offers helpful resources to families. Together they have authored Say Goodbye to Whining, Complaining, and Bad Attitudes…In You and Your Kids!

Product Details

• Paperback: 256 pages
• Publisher: Shaw Books; 1 edition (September 17, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0877880301
• ISBN-13: 978-0877880301
• Product Dimensions: 5.4 x 0.7 x 8.2 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (36 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #57,493 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 61 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You November 22, 2002

By R. Lunn

Format:Paperback

My children are 13, 11, and 9. I have read many excellent parenting books,
but feel that Dr. Turansky and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N. have captured a new yet simple,
wise and practical method for training children. All of this in an easy to read book, Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Children. Good and Angry first helps the parent examine their own attitudes,
and then gives them a few simple tools to effectively raise kind,
considerate, sensitive, and loving children.

I especially enjoyed chapter 7, "They're So Annoying". It was refreshing to
know that other parents struggle with children who "seem oblivious to the
feelings of others, continue to pester, speak without thinking, and are
overly silly by pushing, grabbing, teasing, and joking". This chapter
explains that I can teach my "annoying child" self-control and sensitivity
by raising the awareness level of the annoying behavior, by keeping
character in mind, by praising the child in the process of correction, and
by developing tolerance when necessary. I have begun to use this simple
method, and feel less anxious and sense a strengthening relationship between
myself and my child.

This is not a book you read once and put away to collect dust. It is one
that you need to read over and over again. Good and Angry is a great book
if you want to replace bad patterns of discipline(reacting in anger) with
gentle, wise methods.
Dr. Turansky and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N. have written this book from a
Christian perspective, but it's content is not religiously offensive. The
methods can be used by people of any faith.

45 of 46 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars #1 on my list of Top 11 parenting books- A MUST READ February 27, 2006

By Jennifer Schrank

Format:Paperback

This book is excellent. I gave a copy to everyone in my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group because I really feel this book is a must read book.

Why?

This book helps you as a parent to recognize the five basic causes of anger and gives you practical ways to help reduce your anger and use it wisely. In my experience as a parent, I was suprised by what my kids brought out in me- especially anger!

"Emotions need to be interpreted wisely...Anger, for instance, is a flag that says,"Something's wrong here, and`I need to do something about it." The anger does not define what is wrong. You need to take time to think and interpret anger's signal appropriately before you take action...We believe that the key to using anger in a productive way is to separate the trigger from the response. If you can use anger to identify problems but not react to them, your perspective on anger will change." pp. 25-26

This book is written by Christians so they do quote the Bible and talk about God in the book. However, anyone can benefit from the very practical ideas in the book.

Some of my favorites are "The Lie Detector Test" p. 174-175 and the five steps for giving instructions in chapter 3. This is where a lot of parents get frustrated because kids won't do what you ask them to do.

One book is not going to cover all parenting issues(that's why I am continually reading parenting books because I need all the help I can get!) but this book covers what many books do not- how to use anger wisely. Other books often say don't get angry or seem to assume that you won't get angry and don't tell you how to break the anger cycle. That's why I like this book so much and feel it should be a part of your parenting library because anger is a basic emotion felt by every parent.

27 of 27 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars It could change your life April 1, 2006

By M. Rutter

Format:Paperback

Good and Angry is such a good book! I feel like I've experienced a shift in my thinking. I used to think that righteous indignation over being disobeyed gave me license to solve the problem full force with that anger. That had been the parenting model for me. Now it makes so much more sense to view that anger simply as a flag to identify the child's problem,  rather than the weapon, trusting God to move in the child's heart as I seek to direct them with kindness. It could almost be considered a theological shift as well as an emotional one. It has me moving in the direction of trusting God, and away from trusting myself as a parent.