Customer Reviews

Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Kids!

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My children are 13, 11, and 9. I have read many excellent parenting books,
but feel that Dr. Turansky and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N. have captured a new yet simple,
wise and practical method for training children. All of this in an easy to read book, Good and Angry: Exchanging Frustration for Character in You and Your Children. Good and Angry first helps the parent examine their own attitudes,
and then gives them a few simple tools to effectively raise kind,
considerate, sensitive, and loving children.

I especially enjoyed chapter 7, "They're So Annoying". It was refreshing to
know that other parents struggle with children who "seem oblivious to the
feelings of others, continue to pester, speak without thinking, and are
overly silly by pushing, grabbing, teasing, and joking". This chapter
explains that I can teach my "annoying child" self-control and sensitivity
by raising the awareness level of the annoying behavior, by keeping
character in mind, by praising the child in the process of correction, and
by developing tolerance when necessary. I have begun to use this simple
method, and feel less anxious and sense a strengthening relationship between
myself and my child.

This is not a book you read once and put away to collect dust. It is one
that you need to read over and over again. Good and Angry is a great book
if you want to replace bad patterns of discipline(reacting in anger) with
gentle, wise methods.
Dr. Turansky and Joanne Miller, R.N., B.S.N. have written this book from a
Christian perspective, but it's content is not religiously offensive. The
methods can be used by people of any faith.

This book is excellent. I gave a copy to everyone in my MOPS (Mothers of Preschoolers) group because I really feel this book is a must read book.
Why?
This book helps you as a parent to recognize the five basic causes of anger and gives you practical ways to help reduce your anger and use it wisely. In my experience as a parent, I was suprised by what my kids brought out in me- especially anger!
"Emotions need to be interpreted wisely...Anger, for instance, is a flag that says,"Something's wrong here, and`I need to do something about it." The anger does not define what is wrong. You need to take time to think and interpret anger's signal appropriately before you take action...We believe that the key to using anger in a productive way is to separate the trigger from the response. If you can use anger to identify problems but not react to them, your perspective on anger will change." pp. 25-26
This book is written by Christians so they do quote the Bible and talk about God in the book. However, anyone can benefit from the very practical ideas in the book.
Some of my favorites are "The Lie Detector Test" p. 174-175 and the five steps for giving instructions in chapter 3. This is where a lot of parents get frustrated because kids won't do what you ask them to do.
One book is not going to cover all parenting issues(that's why I am continually reading parenting books because I need all the help I can get!) but this book covers what many books do not- how to use anger wisely. Other books often say don't get angry or seem to assume that you won't get angry and don't tell you how to break the anger cycle. That's why I like this book so much and feel it should be a part of your parenting library because anger is a basic emotion felt by every parent.

Households get busy. And kids will misbehave.

After a while,a parent's patience can run a bit thin. Especially when children do the same thing time and time again. "Will they never learn?".

The authors provide the reader with a list of tools to get through these times. The goal is to build family relationships while helping kids learn better ways of responding to life's situations.

Kids learn from us. If you ever find your patience being tested in those difficult moments, then you will want to read this book. You might be surprised how it can bring a little peace to the household while building closer family relationships.

Good and Angry is such a good book! I feel like I've experienced a shift in my thinking. I used to think that righteous indignation over being disobeyed gave me license to solve the problem full force with that anger. That had been the parenting model for me. Now it makes so much more sense to view that anger simply as a flag to identify the child's problem,  rather than the weapon, trusting God to move in the child's heart as I seek to direct them with kindness. It could almost be considered a theological shift as well as an emotional one. It has me moving in the direction of trusting God, and away from trusting myself as a parent.

I recently saw Scott Turansky and Joanne Miller do a seminar with the same title as this book, Good and Angry, after which I purchased the book and their 2 other books, How to Stop Whining and Complaining in You and Your Kids and 8 Steps to Effective Parenting. They have been a phenomenal foundation for raising kids from toddlers to teens. They dig right to the basis of what parenting is really about. I have since bought several copies of this book and given it to friends and family members. In today's society of rush-rush-rush, we spend less time really getting to the heart of challenges with our kids and just look for the "quick fix." Scott and Joanne help us to raise our kids with pure hearts and thinking minds. Only then they will CHOOSE to make good life decisions.

Thanks to Scott and Joanne for more great ideas on parenting. While I have not read the entire book, I have read many excerpts. Their thoughts have helped me to communicate more effectively with my child. Another resource from these authors is EFFECTIVEPARENTING.org - a website supplementing their work. I enjoy periodic newsletters that provide support to my parenting. Good and Angry will no doubt provide you many great ideas in parenting your child.

Like other books by Turansky & Miller, this book is a deceptively easy read. There are so many great ideas--practical, easy to implement ideas--that I could only read the book a bit at a time in order to let the information soak in! My children are young preschoolers and the information presented is appropriate for them and will continue to be applicable as they grow older. I appreciate that Turansky & Miller's approach works to change the "Heart attitude" not just outward behavior. I've recommended this book to many of my friends. No matter what issues you are dealing with with your kids, I think you will find tips that help you become a better parent--the parent you want to be.

The Good and Angry book is wonderful! This book gives practical easy to read advice that will change your life! So many moms (and dads) have anger issues in their family either within themselves, their children or both and it's about time someone addressed this issue!. I have learned how to understand what causes my anger and how to break the cycle as well as develop new behavior patterns. I now have tools that will help me and my children develop good character and skills that will last a lifetime. If you want to learn how to stop being angry and build a better relationship with your kids this book is for you!

As an experienced parent of three and a special education teacher, I've read lots of books on getting children to behave! And if I do say so myself, I'm pretty good at managing behavior. But, over the years, I've discovered that changing behaviors isn't enough, you have to help kids change the underlying attitudes that contribute to the misbehavior. This book does that in a masterful way! The respectful tone and great parenting skills presented in "Good and Angry" were a huge help to me as an experienced parent. I wish I had this book years ago.

This book will help you raise happy, well-adjusted adults, not just well-behaved kids! This is my choice for a Baby Shower gift every time!

Good and Angry is a very practical approach to a universal parenting struggle. It should be at the top of your list if you want a family with more peace, honor and respect and less tension, manipulation, arguing and frustration. The book deals not just with helping children identify and deal with their own anger, but also with constructive solutions to our own anger as parents.

Each chapter concludes with questions and review, which makes the book very easy to use for reading and discussion groups. The book is written from an unashamedly Christian viewpoint, but the concepts are so universal and practical that I would recommend it to all.