Customer Reviews

The Good, the Bad & the Difference: How to Tell the Right From Wrong in Everyday Situations

5 star:		(4)
4 star:		(4)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(3)
1 star:		(6)

 

 

One of the best columns in The New York Times Magazine each week is "The Ethicist" by Randy Cohen. It's sharp, incisive, and provides food for thought. Cohen's book is an expansion on his column, and in a fun twist, he provides an opportunity for his readers to get into the act. One of the strongest points of Cohen's column, and his book, is that he doesn't render his opinion and slam the door shut; he opens the door for further discussion and argument. Cohen admits he doesn't have all the answers, and he includes some comments from writers who have diverged from his opinions. Basically, Cohen's take on ethics is situational; he doesn't hand down ironclad edicts. Most of the questions he receives from readers fall into the "Do I tell or not" category; e.g., do I tell my neighbor I saw her husband with the sexy blonde in the bar. Cohen's advice is to consider your role in the situation; if you are merely a snoopy neighbor then MYOB; but if you are a cop who has busted hubby in a house of ill repute where he stands a high risk of catching HIV and passing it on to his wife, then the wife has a right to know what risks she has been inadvertently exposed to (and let hubby duck before the boom lowers on him). Cohen isn't out to preach or moralize; his goal is to make his readers think, and in this he succeeds admirably. The book is both fun and a learning experience for anyone who reads it.

(First, the full disclosure: I am in the acknowledgments for this book, because the Samuel Johnson quotations throughout this book were drawn from my Johnson web site. But we hardly know each other.)

Although this book collects many of the columns Cohen has written for the New York Times and in syndication (as "The Ethicist" and "Everyday Ethics," respectively), this book is far more than just the original columns. Added here is more overview and dialog (which a brief newspaper column would never accommodate). Some of the back and forth is in the original Q&A format of the column, but it's been augmented by postscripts and perspectives from others in the fields related to the original questions. Thus, while Cohen's answers are basically prescriptions and brief explorations, the subsequent discussions from Cohen and the others round the issues out. So, in a sense, it becomes a town-square-type discussion you won't see in some other books.

The really interesting part is that, by engaging others, Cohen opens it up to more discussion and thought from -you.- Cohen doesn't always read like the final word, and you may find that this involving book provokes discussions in your own home. (This past weekend, a question surrounding how much to include on a resume led to a good 20 minute discussion between friends.) Any time a book gets you to think, and then actually leaves its original medium on the page to become part of a broader discussion, is pretty impressive, if you ask me. So many other books of this ilk come off as absolute pontifications, that they seem to do all the thinking for you, and for me that's not enough.

Read THE GOOD, THE BAD & THE DIFFERENCE by
Randy Cohen, author of THE NEW YORK TIMES MAGAZINE'S
popular column "The Ethicist" . . . it is a provocative look
at today's manners and mores with interesting advice
about how to be good in the real world.

Though I did not agree with everything that the author wrote,
it got me thinking . . . it also pointed out to me that
there are certainly no easy answers to a whole bunch of
complex questions.

Cohen has an engaging, breezy style that certainly did not make
this a dry philosophical tome . . . in particular, his humor added to my enjoyment of the book.

There were many memorable passages; among them:
[on whether to tell a boss if you're pregnant when looking for a job]
But inconvenient as it may be for the boss, pregnancy is a
fundamental experience that society must accommodate, rather
than ask individuals to cobble together their own solution. On the other hand, if you'd like to make your every human need
subservient to the demands of commerce, you might try this
strategy: Pledge to deliver your baby in the employee lounge
during your break, making a little cradle out of an empty box
of file folders. That'll show you're a team player.

[on when to break up with a girlfriend whose father is severely ill]
Those in a hurry to break up often seek justification from another Academy Award winner, William Shakespeare: "If it were done, when 'tis done, then "twere well it were done quickly," but the line was spoken by Macbeth; Shakespeare did not intend it
as a dating tip. As you know, MacBeth's breakup with Duncan
did not go well.

[on buying cheap seats and sneaking down to expensive ones]
It is unfortunate that your dad's seat changing embarrasses you.
But when you are 11, nearly everything your parents do is
embarrassing. So as long as you're being mortified, you might as
well endure it in good seats.

I only regret that Cohen's column is not carried in my local
paper.

Well-written, at times humorous and making you think, and sometimes think hard, this book is filled with many of Randy Cohen's letters previously printed in his New York Times Magazine column (as well as other newspapers). Divided into categories are many letters which on occasion appall but always hold our interest as we read the answers Mr. Cohen has written. There is much fodder for discussion here as of course the reader will not always agree with the author. This book makes a good basis upon which to discover how your friends and relations feel about many ethical issues. After finishing the book yesterday I am still thinking about several of my own answers and believe the book to have had a more profound effect than I expected.

This book is basically a collection of excerpt from Mr. Cohen's New York times ethics columns. The book is organized into various ethical situations from workplace situations to riding public transportation. Many of the questions asked are illuminating simply based on the choices they bring to mind; the author's irrepressible wit makes the book a completely entertaining package. The short sections make it ideal material for both the bathroom or a few minutes of quick nighttime reading. Just be careful you don't start a great moral debate with your spouse right before bedtime!

With one person in six either in jail or otherwise in the criminal justice system, there is an obvious need for this book. Of course, the Randy Cohen's questions also provide a lengthy list of clever ways to lie, cheat and steal. :)

Every parent should read this book and discuss the issues with his or her children. The stories in this book make valuable dinner-table conversation.

There are many references to Samuel Johnson. In fact, the text seems created around his wisdom.

My friends tell me this book has changed me from being an occasional stickler for what's right to being a major pain in the butt. :)

This book is an ethics wakeup call. Read this book and then go do the right thing.

As a publisher and author of 28 books, I realize the responsibility we have in the book industry. This is one book I will not give away (Though I have ordered more from Amazon.com to be sent as gifts).

Dan Poynter, ParaPublishing.com.

This was entertaining at first but quickly grew boring. This should be viewed as a quirky read, to be read in snippets or given as a gift to the right individual (if you don't know who that is, don't get it for them). This is not something you're meant to sit down with on Saturday and pore over until Sunday morning.

There were some interesting situations, but like I said, I grew bored with the premise quickly. The topics here would make for a spirited debate, but as it stands, you're just reading one person's opinion, no matter how good, bad or inconsistent. Cohen tries to spice it up with others' opinions every once in awhile, but that wasn't enough. And Cohen himself isn't likable, hatable, or controversial enough to make the book work. Maybe get this from the library, but don't take the chance spending money on it.

Like the podcast, only longer, Randy Cohen delves into simple everyday moral dilemmas without being preachy or judgemental.

As expected, a book expounding one man's "solution" to ethical dilemmas would elicit a wide range of opinions. I agree somewhat with some of Mr. Cohen's detractors arguments regarding his opinions and even some of his personal motivations. However, that is not the only criterion by which such a book should be judged.

What I like about the book is the exposition of a wide range of personal and professional dilemmas, many of which I would never think about. While I don't personally agree with the authors response all of the time, I appreciate the opportunity to form opinions of my own should a similar or analogous situation arise in my own life. It is for inclusion of a wide range of thought-provoking situations that I give this book "4".

Everyone has their own opinons about "right from wrong" and Randy Cohen has written a book about his. This in fine, but only if your reasoning and rationales are consistent.

This is not always the case with Mr. Cohen.

In the case of paying less for movie tickets, by people who are not actually senior citizens but claim to be, Cohen objects and calls it unethical.

In the case of paying less for better baseball game tickets, that is paying for cheap seats and then sneaking down to the good seats, Cohen approves whole-heartedly, envoking "tradition".

To those disagreed and asked "what if everyone did it?", he responds by saying this question is not helpful because "everyone will not do it"

Yet in another case about stealing cable, Cohen himself uses the "what if everyone did it?" argument: "if everyone stole cable the company would go under, hence your obligation to pay".
But he forgot his own words; "everyone will not do it".

If an ethicist expects people to respect their ethics, they should at the very minimum be objective and remain consistent.