Customer Reviews

Good-Bye, Daddy!

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(2)
2 star:		(0)
1 star:		(0)

 

 

The story of Tom quickly became my 4 year old son's favorite bed-time story. Especially following visitation days. It thoughtfully explains the problems that most kids have during and after a divorce, without placing blame on anyone. It also does not give any false hopes about the parents getting back together. The illustrations are beautiful. I highly recommend this book.

Tom and his bear's story has helped my 3 year old child better understand and cope with her father's visititation schedule. When a Daddy lives out-of-state, it can be difficult for a young child to say good-bye, because they may not be together again for several weeks. This book helped my child to talk about her feelings. She was able to identify with Tom.

My 4-year-old really enjoys this book. It is very gentle in the way it addresses parents' separation, and it emphasizes the positive aspects of the relationship between father and son AND mother and son. It takes pressure off children to relate the story too closely to their own exeprience by describing the relationships between the members of a bear family, not a human family. It gives my son comfort to see that there are "others" in the same situation that he is in, and that they are able to understand and deal with the parents' separation in a positive, matter-of-fact way. It also nicely describes the typical father-son relationship in a way that my son was instantly able to relate to. The illustrations are also very relaxing for him. He really just loves this book, and asks for it at bed time. I definitely would recommend it for small children whose fathers are "Disneyland Dads."

This story is very gently and thoughtfully written for the preschool/early elementary school set. While the story provides a decent balance of the attributes (and reality) of the situation in general, there are two quotes from the story that I would draw your attention to that may effect whether you wish to purchase it or not:

=== QUOTES ===
Little Bear was "bored" at home with his mother:
"......But the best thing of all was when Father Bear came......"

Mother Bear explained to Little Bear why Father Bear no longer lived with them:
"......That was when Father Bear and I still liked to be with each other. But then we started arguing......"


=== PLOT ===
The story begins with a little boy coming back from a visit with Daddy and he is angry and upset. His Mother consoles him and tells him a story about a teddy bear who lived with his Mommy in a cave, but would go out for visits with his Daddy. The baby bear wasn't happy about not being all together in one cave anymore. The Mother Bear goes about her chores in the cave, plays with baby bear a little and teaches baby bear what is safe to eat. It continues (pardon the typos; I type fast, not perfectly):


=== ADDITIONAL SELECTIONS FROM THE TEXT ====
"Every morning, Mother Bear woke Little Bear and they went out together into the forest. Mother Bear looked for food with Little Bear, and she showed him which things were good to eat and which were not. They played catch or hide-and-seek together, and Mother Bear let him climb a little and splash around in the stream." But sometimes Mother Bear had work to do--cleaning out the cave or gathering fresh branches for their bed. It was boring for Little Bear, and it made him grumpy. And he didn't cheer up until Mother Bear was ready to play again."

"Every night she licked him with her pink tongue, from the tips of his fluffy ears right down to the last claw on his little hind leg. Then with a happy growl she murmured, "Sleep well, and sweet dreams, Little Bear," and she laid him down on a fragrant bed of soft pine branches. Then they slept, snuggled close together, all through the night."

"But the best thing of all was when Father Bear came. He picked up Little Bear in his huge paws and threw him high in the air until he squealed like a piglet. Then they went out together, deep in to the forest, and Father Bear showed Little Bear animals that he never saw when he played with Mother near the cave. They saw the old badger in his burrow, and he growled at them. But Father Bear growled back, and that was the end of that. High on the cliffs, they saw the sly lynx, watching for prey. And above the cliffs they could see the great eagle, circling in the blue sky."

"Father Bear let Little Bear climb much higher in the trees than Mother ever did, and balancing on the shaky limbs was an adventure. When Little Bear was hungry, Father Bear scooped a fat fish from the river with one swish of his paw. And for dessert, Father Bear broke open a bees' nest. Delicious! After eating, they played rough and tumble until-at last!--Little Bear pushed his father onto his back. His father pretended to be beaten and they both laughed and laughted and rolled down a hillside. Then they lay together all calm and happy in the meadow and let the sun warm their fur. But when evening came, Father Bear took Little Bear back home."

"Little Bear plunked down in the opening of the cave, folded his arms, and scowled. Father Bear dusted him off and picked a blade of grass out of his fur--but Little Bear made a face and turned away. So Father Bear lumbered off into the forest. Mother Bear watched from the shadows, and then came and tried to cheer Little Bear up. But he bellowed and scratched the ground and didn't want to cheer up. Then he started to whimper."

"Mother Bear let him whimper for a little while. Then she padded over to the bed of branches and fetched him the ball of soft moss he liked to hug. She gently put it in Little Bear's paws, and sat next to him. "Why is he going away again?" wept Little Bear. "Because Father Bear lives in his own cave now," said Mother Bear softly. "But he used to live here!" sobbed Little Bear. "Yes, that was when Father Bear and I still liked to be with each other. But then we started arguing. You remember. And it isn't good to live with someone if you're always arguing," said Mother Bear. Little Bear thought about that. He thought about the animals he met in the forest. Some were friendly, and they would play together for hours. But he argued with some of the other animals--he didn't like being with them so much."

"But *I* didn't quarrel with Daddy Bear," growled Little Bear. "That's true, Little Bear, and that's why Daddy Bear comes so often to take you out to play. You are his child and you always will be. He loves you more than anyone else."

This isn't the best book read on divorce, but it is well written and is helpful for small children going thru a divorce. My daughter was 5 when I purchased this book (among many others.) It seemed to help her cope. Divorce is hard on anyone especially kids. Make sure to get as many resources as possible to help your child cope.