The Good Divorce [Paperback]

Constance Ahrons (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: June 9, 1995

It's never too late to have a good divorce

Based on two decades of groundbreaking research, The Good Divorce presents the surprising finding that in more than fifty percent of divorces couples end their marriages, yet preserve their families. Dr. Ahrons shows couples how they can move beyond the confusing, even terrifying early stages of breakup and learn to deal with the transition from a nuclear to a "binuclear" family--one that spans two households and continues to meet the needs of children.

The Good Divorce makes an important contribution to the ongoing "family values" debate by dispelling the myth that divorce inevitability leaves emotionally troubles children in its wake. It is a powerful tonic for the millions of divorcing and long-divorces parents who are tired of hearing only the damage reports. It will make us change the way we think about divorce and the way we divorce, reconfirming our commitment to children and families.

Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Expect a big promotional effort on this book, which argues that sometimes divorce isn't so bad for the children-if you follow a few simple rules.
Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Nothing is likely to make divorce pleasant or easy, but Ahrons' landmark longitudinal study of randomly selected postdivorce families offers hope that splitting spouses may be able to handle their breakup in a way that will permit both "adults and children [to] emerge at least as emotionally well as they were before the divorce." Ahrons blends insights from her own research and a cross-national European study as well as 25 years as a therapist to dispel myths, establish useful typologies, articulate the challenges divorcing spouses face, and suggest steps to make a "good divorce" more likely. Central to Ahrons' analysis is the recognition that what she calls "binuclear families" are now more common in the United States (and some other industrialized nations) than the traditional two-adults-with-children model. In either of these structures, "the psychological health of the children depends hugely on the way the spouses--or exspouses [sic]--get along." Though "family values" fundamentalists will object to the idea that "binuclear families" can ever be normal and healthy, The Good Divorce offers advice and explanations to troubled couples for whom "staying together for the sake of the children" is not a healthy or viable option. Mary Carroll --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 301 pages
• Publisher: William Morrow Paperbacks (June 9, 1995)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0060926341
• ISBN-13: 978-0060926342
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 5.4 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #101,161 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #87 in Books > Health, Fitness & Dieting > Relationships > Divorce

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

61 of 72 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars our first step as intelligent coparents, November 3, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: The Good Divorce (Paperback)

I found this book in the esteemed Bank Street educational bookstore in Manhattan and it became the first ray of hope during the dark early months of separation. My coparent and I started experiencing our disentangling as an organic shift in our ONGOING relationship, and expressing our continued commitment to each other in affirmative and reaffirming terms. This allowed us to give our son the language and story-telling he needed to feel has HAS a family -- it's simply a differently shaped one. In the intervening two years, our friendship as coparents has continued to thrive as we began tentative steps into new relationships, and as we set up rules and rituals in two households. Ahrons got us started.

This book explains the sampling issues relevant to debunking Wallenstein. And as a person with an A.B. in anthropology from Harvard, I can tell you that Ahrons sampling methods look pretty good. And her use of positive applicable metaphors to create constructive problem-solving is innovatively brilliant.

This is the nice, smart-peoples' divorce book. Forward-looking. Our family relationships today ARE (societally-speaking) often "differently shaped." Ahrons helps us start to deal with that and grow from that base. For our childrens' sake AND our own. Families where one person is dying don't work.

26 of 29 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars If divorce is inevitable, get this book, July 1, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: The Good Divorce (Paperback)

This book helped me through my divorce, helping to understand the feelings I was having, and how others have dealt with them. But even more importantly, it presents case studies that can provide pointers on a "successful" divorce that doesn't ruin you--or the kids--emotionally.

37 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A "must" for divorcing with children...amicably., October 12, 1999

By 

teresa barnhart (Columbus, OH, USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: The Good Divorce (Paperback)

My first concern during our divorce was how to make it as painless as possible for our children ages spanning from pre-teen to young adults. With "The Good Divorce" I was able to present these goals to my husband. It was a tremendous help in guiding us through our divorce amicably and I am pleased to say that my ex and I are on very good terms today as a result of looking at divorce issues from such a positive point of view.