Good Friends Are Hard to Find [Paperback]

Fred Frankel (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 1996

This guide teaches parents clinically-tested techniques from UCLA's world-renowned Children's Social Skills Program for helping their 5- to 12-year-olds make friends and solve problems with other kids. Also provided is concrete help for handling teasing, bullying, and meanness, both for the child who is picked on and for the tormentor.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Parents of young social butterflies may think this book makes mountains out of molehills, but those whose children have difficulty making and keeping friends will likely find its practical, down-to-earth approach a godsend. Frankel, a psychologist, helped develop the Social Skills Training Program at UCLA, where he teaches parenting workshops on helping kids make and keep friends. Based on that program, this volume gives a helpful overview and also allows parents to locate particular problems (e.g., how to find friends; how to deal with bullies). Frankel advocates one-on-one playdates as the most effective way for children to form meaningful friendships, maintaining that organized activities like team sports aren't structured to lead to the development of close friendships. They are valuable arenas in which kids can touch base with peers, but the building of friendships is facilitated by following up with one-on-one play. Tips on hosting playdates and suggestions for avoiding frustration, boredom and conflict?the three main stumbling blocks of play time?are included. Frankel's advises that kids should rely on interactive games (jumping rope, playing catch, board games) and that parents should stay in the background during visits. He also offers concrete suggestions for organizing schedules to make time for friends and for limiting such solitary activities as video games and TV.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

"When parents lament that kids don't come with instruction manuals, they can reach for this." -- David Steinberg, M.D., medical director of the Family Program for Infants and Young Children, University of Medicine and Dentistry of New Jersey

Good Friends Are Hard To Find is the book for any parent (or child-care provider) whose five to twelve-year-old has no one to play with, and is outraged when other kids tease or pick on him or her, or feels helpless when school calls with the message that there's been a fight. Good Friends Are Hard To Find provides step-by-step information for parents helping them to help their youngsters make friends and solve problems with other kids. Good Friends Are Hard To Find is a guide that also offers concrete help for teasing, bullying and meanness, both for the child who is picked on and for the tormentor. Based on the UCLA Children's Social Skills Program, Good Friends Are Hard To Find teaches clinically tested techniques that really work. Good Friends Are Hard To Find is a valuable, practical, and applicable reference book for any parenting collection. -- Midwest Book Review

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Product Details

• Paperback: 299 pages
• Publisher: Perspective Publishing; 1 edition (January 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 096220367X
• ISBN-13: 978-0962203671
• Product Dimensions: 8.8 x 6 x 0.8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #80,581 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Fred Frankel, Ph.D., is a Professor in the Department of Psychiatry and Biobehavioral Sciences at UCLA and the Director of the UCLA Parent Training and Children's Friendship Programs. To date, his program has helped over 1,700 children and teens with friendship problems in the greater Los Angeles area.

He has recently revised and updated "Good Friends are Hard to Find" and published it with Jossey-Bass. The new title is, "Friends Forever: How Parents Can Help Their Kids Make and Keep Good Friends." It's available in paperback and on Kindle.

He speaks regularly on the topic of social skills for children and teens to professionals and parents alike. He has 3 children, ages 4, 7, and 25. His work on Children's Friendships has won the National Parenting Publications Parenting Resources Gold Award.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

84 of 86 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A MUST for LDA and Autistic kids..., April 3, 2000

By 

J. Johnston-Tyler (Mountain View CA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Good Friends Are Hard to Find (Paperback)

As the mom of an Asperger child who desperately wants to have friends, I found this book more helpful than any other. It describes -- step by step -- the powerful social dynamics needed to "infiltrate" the mysterious world of friendship. I would recommend this book to the parents of ANY child who had social issues, be they autism, LDA, or just a bit shy or a bit aggressive. A must have for every resource library as well.

62 of 63 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Good Friends are made easier to find., March 27, 2000

By A Customer

This review is from: Good Friends Are Hard to Find (Paperback)

As a school psychologist, I often meet parent's who are at their wit's end regarding helping their children make friends. This easy-to-read book provides step-by-step, age-related approaches on how to help your child find, develop positive relationships with, and keep friends. In addition, this book provides strategies for dealing with teasing and bullying and scripts that you can practice with your child regarding what to do in these situations. This book would be especially beneficial to parents of or clinicians who work with ADD/ADHD children since these children frequently encounter these difficulties.

42 of 43 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Clear, concrete steps to help your child make friends, May 19, 2001

By 

Carol Watkins "Psychiatrist" (Parkton, Maryland, USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Good Friends Are Hard to Find (Paperback)

This book gives specific step-by-step instructions on how parents can help their children approach social situations. Much of it is aimed at families with children who, because of impulsivity or shyness, have difficulty making and keeping friends. This book is aimed at parents of elementary school-aged children. It would be particularly good for children with AD/HD or Asperger's Disorder. However the tips on making friends would help most shy children who have moved to a new city. Carol E. Watkins, M.D. Child and Adolescent Psychiatrist