Customer Reviews

Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss: Personal and Professional Insights on the Animal Lover's Unique Grieving Process

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I would so like to thank Sid Korpi for writing such a heartfelt, uniquely empathic and sensitive book. I have always loved animals. (My family inherited a little chihuahua I grew up with). I can honestly say, however, that after reading this book, I will never be able to look at someone with their pet again without feeling even deeper feelings of affection for their precious creatures. I believe the book in effect touched my humanity and made me a better person for having read it. I think it would do the same for you.

Introducing the book Korpi asks what is a pet owner to do when those around them fail to understand the enormity of their loss. She argues that "Grieving the loss of a loved one, whether he or she is human or an animal, is arguably the most difficult task we must all inevitably endure." Significantly she also acknowledges however that "the pain of loss is compounded by the withdrawal/rejection you may feel from those who value the human/animal bond substantially less than you do." She very importantly points out that there is "something unique about relationships with animals" describing their unconditionally loving natures and lack of judgment. Korpi concludes her Introduction by stating that "This book is is intended to share stories of the miraculous ways in which that bond remains intact beyond death."

Part One: The All Important Grieving Process includes two informative charts--one on CHARACTERISTICS OF BEREAVED PET OWNERS from New Perspectives on Our Lives With Companion Animals and another LEVELS OF HUMAN BONDING WITH ANIMALS from The Loss of a Pet. I especially love Korpi's suggestion on how to address those insensitive to pet loss taken from Eleanor Harris' book Pet Loss: A Spiritual Guide" In my opinion you are not an animal person and have probably never experienced the special bond you can have with a pet. You do not understand the love...and companionship my pet gave my life. Please do not be so judgmental and intolerant, as I feel deep personal loss at this time." Also as Dr Michael Fox, the Animal Doctor, so aptly pointed out: "Many people say they have mourned the loss of a devoted, affectionate pet that brought joy and unconditional love into their lives more than that of a close relative."

Parts Two: Afterlife Connections-Humans and Three: Animals and the Afterlife could arguably be challenged by those of some religious faiths. Notably, however, even evangelist Billy Graham once said (as Korpi quoted): "I think God will have prepared everything for our perfect happiness (in Heaven). If it takes my dog being there, I believe he'll be there."

Personally I feel that Part Four: Memoralizing Methods was probably the most important section of the book. HOW DO I LOVE THEE? NUMEROUS WAYS TO HONOR YOUR BELOVED ANIMAL COMPANION'S LIFE is a compilation of suggested ideas Korpi collected to help people memorialize and honor their pets. There are over sixty (60) suggestions offered here from writing poems, songs, stories and books about your pet to drawing or painting pictures of your pet to embroidering a pillow with a likeness of your pet to joining pet loss support groups and including your pet in your daily prayers to donating to an animal rescue organization in your pet's name, volunteering in animal shelters, as a foster family for no-kill pet rescue organizations, etc. Korpi even includes a list of songs inspired somehow by our animal companions, my favorite being "Mr Bo Jangles" by the Nitty Gritty Dirt Band: "The dog up and died. he up and died. And after twenty years, he still grieves." Tenderly noted also are the lyrics from "Holly's Favorite Things" a song submitted by Erika Thorne of Minneapolis, Minnesota.

The concluding sections of the book are Parts Five, Six and Seven: All Things Considered, The Role of Philosophy, Religion and Spirituality in Healing and Moving On After Loss.

There is SO MUCH in this book. It is so well researched. There are numerous submitted stories lovingly included with photographs of many precious companion animals--dogs, cats,horses, rabbits, parakeets, etc.--(now deceased) attached. It was so touching to see how deeply these pet owners loved their companion animals. I found myself in tears many times. The human-animal bond is indeed a very special one no person should take lightly. I therefore strongly recommend this book to all--pet owners and non pet owners alike.

Sid Korpi's "Good Grief: Finding Peace After Pet Loss" should be on every animal lovers book shelf because if we haven't already, each of us will go through the grief of losing a beloved animal companion. "Good Grief" not only tells readers that it's okay to grieve but walks us through various ways we can memorialize our animals and what they would want for us.

After Sid was a guest on my radio program I had a person who'd lost a pet in the past and who had said they would never get another pet because they didn't want to go through that pain again come to our local shelter. They said they'd heard the program and now looked at their feelings in a whole new way and realized that their previous pet would have wanted them to share their life and love with a new pet. They ended up adopting an older cat and at last check were extremely happy with their new companion who in their words "seems to know she was sent here to heal us from that long ago hurt and make our days bright again." If "Good Grief" can do that with just a radio interview imagine what it can do when you read the whole book!

"Good Grief" will make you laugh, cry, and remember all those animal companions you've loved and lost. It will allow you to move on but never forget what each has done for you.

I'd recommend "Good Grief" to every animal lover.

Sid Korpi has a gift for writing. The book is a testament to Sid's abilities as an author and an ordained minister/animal chaplain to reap the very personal experiences of others in dealing with their grief in a way that allows us to share the wisdom and relief that can come of allowing ourselves to grieve (whether for our animal companion or for any other loss in our lives). Interspersed with these stories of others, are educational and instructional articles to help us prepare for the inevitable passing of the animals in our care, and guides us on what to expect (if we haven't experienced it before) or validates what we have experienced that culturally we don't discuss very often.

I finished reading Sid Korpi's book yesterday and must say that I wished there was more to read. I have read many of the pet loss books available but hthis one was one of the best I have read. I lilked that it was not clinical as so many of them have been. It was presented in a very down-to-earth and "real" way. this is the way we feel at this time of great loss.

I thank Sid for such a great book. It will be one I re-read often as the stories are so very heartwarming even though they are heartbreaking.

Helen Sloan

It's about time someone took on this subject and guided animal lovers through the painful, devastating and often isolating process of losing an animal companion. Korpi's insight obviously comes from years of experience and careful research. She respectfully and mindfully includes all angles and aspects; all perspectives and views to create a book that will appeal to the masses and help start a revolution to change the way society sees the relationship between animals and humans. What an amazing gift to give to someone going through this life-changing experience!

There are quite a few books about pet loss on the market, and I've read a good number of them over the years, but none has resonated with me as much as Good Grief - Finding Peace After Pet Loss by Sid Korpi. Korpi is a writer, editor, journalist and ordained minister, and most importantly, a lifelong animal lover who understands the human-animal bond. While most pet loss books focus on the stages of grief and the psychology of the mourning process, Korpi goes beyond those aspects in her book. She shows the reader how to :

-Emotionally prepare for a pet's euthanasia and understand when it's time

-View death not as an ending, but (as animals see it) a natural transition

-Cope with being around insensitive people

-Memorialize and celebrate the pet's life

-Move on after loss and love again.

The book addresses all aspects of the grieving process, from understanding what to expect to how to move on after loss. I particularly enjoyed the two sections Korpi presents about afterlife connections. She shares stories of humans and animals and how they've connected with their surviving loved ones after their deaths. Some of the stories are taken from her own life, others come from a wide variety of animal lovers from around the world, and all are comforting and will reassure the reader that the love betwen humans and their beloved animal companions truly is eternal. Korpi also offers suggestions on how we can feel and encourage this connection with our departed loved ones.

The section on memorializing methods offers many wonderful suggestions on how to remember a pet in both public and private ways, stressing that this is an important part of the grieving process. Korpi addresses the role of spirituality, philosophy and religion in healing from pet loss by sharing the different viewpoints, including some from the perspectives of various religious leaders. The book contains an impressive bibliography and grief support resource section.

What makes this book different from other pet loss books is Korpi's compassion, empathy and sometimes, even a gentle sense of humor. Rather than feeling like a book written by a counselor, reading Good Grief feels like a conversation with a supportive, caring friend. It certainly provided comfort for my own grieving heart.

Good Grief is that rare pet-loss book that offers practical insights and professional advice for dealing with the greiving process from a number of perspectives. The book is well-organized into sections that touch on issues like death and dying, human reactions, memorializing and moving on, but I think the real strength of this book is the opportunity to read the personal stories included in the book.

Good Grief allows people to express their grief without coming across as sappy or trite. These are real people sharing their feelings about their pets, and alot of the stories are cathartic, feel emotionally mature and thoughtful, and therefore are truly helpful to others.

I also appreciate the spiritual dimensions explored in this book. Our culture has been particularly bad about acknowledging the pain of pet loss. Good Grief can help break the silence around how we acknowledge pet loss as a society, and promote greater understanding that pets are close family members and that their death can be difficult. I think Good Grief, and it's approach to the death and grieving experience, can teach us alot about the life cycle as a whole.

If I were to use one word to describe this book, it would be "thorough." Sid Korpi has examined virtually every aspect of pet loss, not only from her own perspective but from that of many other bereaved animal lovers as well. I especially appreciate her emphasis on maintaining the bond we have with our animals, long after their spirits have left their earthly bodies, along with her suggestions for all the different and creative ways we can memorialize them and carry them with us in our hearts.

Because this book is so comprehensive, I think some readers may find it difficult to absorb so much material, especially in the time immediately surrounding a loss (I'm thinking of someone in the freshest throes of grief, when the attention span of the bereaved is so short that it's difficult to concentrate) - but overall I think it's a fine contribution to the pet loss literature and one that (as a grief counselor who also specializes in pet loss) I will be pleased to recommend to my clients and colleagues. I'm sure it will help many people better understand the strength and power of the human-animal bond and the deep sense of loss that is felt when a beloved animal companion has died.

This title is now listed on the Articles ~ Columns ~ Books page of my GriefHealing Web site (under the Books about Pet Loss category) as one that I've read and personally recommend.

With this book, Sid Korpi helps us better understand, prepare for, and cope with the loss of our animal companions. She recognizes that our animal companions are often very truly our best friends and gives us permission (if we need it) to fully feel and share our sadness over their losses. Korpi helps us understand that animals see their passing as a natural transformation, not an abrupt ending, and encourages us to recognize the "coincidences" that occur after an animal's passing as signs that they're checking in with us. "Good Grief" is filled with wonderful stories to help us celebrate our animal companions' lives, memorialize them as they well deserve, and truly feel the deep emotions they bring out in us. Easily readable and very thorough, this book is a "must read" for all who share their lives with animals.

-- Jenny Pavlovic, author of "8 State Hurricane Kate: The Journey and Legacy of a Katrina Cattle Dog" and "The Not Without My Dog Resource & Record Book"