or
Sign in to turn on 1-Click ordering
More Buying Choices
Have one to sell? Sell yours here
Tell the Publisher!
I'd like to read this book on Kindle

Don't have a Kindle? Get your Kindle here, or download a FREE Kindle Reading App.
Sorry, this item is not available in
Image not available for
Color:
Image not available

To view this video download Flash Player

 

How Good Do We Have to Be? A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness [Paperback]

Harold Kushner
4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)

List Price: $12.99
Price: $10.72 & FREE Shipping on orders over $25. Details
You Save: $2.27 (17%)
o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o o
Only 18 left in stock (more on the way).
Ships from and sold by Amazon.com. Gift-wrap available.
Want it tomorrow, June 19? Choose One-Day Shipping at checkout. Details

Formats

Amazon Price New from Used from
Hardcover --  
Paperback $10.72  
Audio, Cassette, Audiobook --  
Image
Save on Popular Books This Summer
Browse our Bookshelf Favorites store for big savings on popular fiction, nonfiction, children's books, and more.

Book Description

September 1, 1997
From the author of When Bad Things Happen to Good People comes an inspiring new bestseller that puts human feelings of guilt and inadequacy in perspective - and teaches us how we can learn to accept ourselves and others even when we and they are less than perfect. How Good Do We Have to Be? is for everyone who experiences that sense of guilt and disappointment. Harold Kushner, writing with his customary generosity and wisdom, shows us how human life is too complex for anyone to live it without making mistakes, and why we need not fear the loss of God's love when we are less than perfect. Harold Kushner begins by offering a radically new interpretation of the story of Adam and Eve, which he sees as a tale of Paradise Outgrown rather than Paradise Lost: eating from the Tree of Knowledge was not an act of disobedience, but a brave step forward toward becoming human, complete with the richness of work, sexuality and child-rearing, and a sense of our mortality. Drawing on modern literature, psychology, theology,,and his own thirty years of experience as a congregational rabbi, Harold Kushner reveals how acceptance and forgiveness can change our relationships with the most important people in our lives and help us meet the bold and rewarding challenge of being human.

Frequently Bought Together

How Good Do We Have to Be? A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness + Living a Life that Matters + When Bad Things Happen to Good People
Price for all three: $33.36

Buy the selected items together


Editorial Reviews

From Library Journal

Jewish and Christian religions reinforce feelings of guilt and inadequacy by using the story of the Fall of Adam and Eve to teach that humankind's spiritual inadequacies are inherent. Rabbi Kushner (When Bad Things Happen to Good People, 1981) here retells the Genesis story of the primeval couple to demonstrate that the imperfections of humankind do not merit the loss of God's love, nor should they foster the guilt and anxiety that they often do in a society driven by a misguided attachment to perfection. Combining psychology and spirituality, Kushner invokes the power of acceptance and forgiveness as a means of overcoming the insidious consequences of a preoccupation with perfection. For most libraries.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Booklist

Kushner, best known for his best-selling When Bad Things Happen to Good People (1985), here deals with an equally vexing topic, overcoming shame and guilt. As in his other books, Rabbi Kushner turns to the Bible to find answers to hard questions, and when it comes to guilt and shame, there is no better place to start than at the beginning, with the story of Adam and Eve. The disobedience shown in the Garden of Eden came to be known as original sin, sort of a gene for badness that is passed down from generation to generation. But Kushner has a different take on the Adam and Eve story, seeing the duo as brave rather than disobedient, willing to risk paradise to become fully human. It must be said that Kushner tends to twist a tale until it fits the point he is trying to make (this is especially true in his discussion of Cain and Abel); nevertheless, his arguments, directly stated, are always thought provoking and people centered. Kushner is clearly writing to bring comfort and to show his audience how to find forgiveness in their own lives, whether that forgiveness is directed toward others or oneself. This is one psychological self-help book that deserves the popularity it is likely to achieve. Ilene Cooper --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Back Bay Books; 1 edition (September 1, 1997)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0316519332
  • ISBN-13: 978-0316519335
  • Product Dimensions: 5 x 0.5 x 7.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 5.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (43 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #156,383 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Harold S. Kushner is Rabbi Laureate of Temple Israel in Natick, Massachusetts, where he lives. His books include the huge bestseller When Bad Things Happen To Good People and When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough.

Customer Reviews

One of the best "self-help" books I have ever read. trl2@juno.com  |  6 reviewers made a similar statement
It was an easy answer -- Harold Kushner. Leigh A. Merryday  |  3 reviewers made a similar statement
Most Helpful Customer Reviews
27 of 30 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Bless Your Imperfections April 3, 2004
Format:Paperback
I don't know if it is because I've read 3 other books by Rabbi Kushner, or because from the first words to the last words reading this book I feel like I am having a conversation with him. This includes many questions about life, the human condition, and religion that I have carried with me for a long time.

If someone had mentioned religion, God, or related words to me before discovering both Rabbi Kushner, and Dennis Prager, I would have been ready to bolt for the nearest door, because that had signaled what I called "Bible-thumpin time."

So, no matter where you stand on religion, politics, or the human condition, I invite you to open your mind to the possibility of forgiveness.

With the subtitle being "A New Understanding of Guilt and Forgiveness," it's nice to notice that throughout this book Kushner discusses many examples of what guilt has been for us.

He uses "The Original Sin;" "Paradise Lost;" and many other stories that show how we have interpreted God's expectations of us to mean that we are born sinners who must become perfect. Which of course is not, as he points out, God's expectations of us.

Kushner adds, "My experiences as a clergyman and a counselor has taught me that much of the unhappiness people feel burdened by, much of the guilt, much of the sense of having been cheated by life, stems from one of two related causes: either somewhere along the way, somebody - a parent, a teacher, a religious leader - gave them the message that they were not good enough, and they believed it. Or else they came to expect and need more from the people around them --- their parents, children, husbands, or wives - than those people could realistically deliver....

His suggestion is that the story of the Garden of Eden is the story of the first human beings graduating from the uncomplicated world to knowinging that good and evil exists; and that what is most important to us, as human beings is to live with integrity.

This book also suggests that if Adam and Eve had not eaten from the Tree of Knowledge, they would not have had needs, feelings, or individual thoughts. So, it would not have mattered what happened around them.

A year ago, I asked a prominent religious leader in San Diego, "Do you believe that the active members of your church know what religion means to them - not your interpretation, theirs?"

This got his attention, and began a great collaboration.

Religion, as Rabbi Kushner describes in this book is, "... the voice that says, I will guide you through this minefield of difficult moral choices, sharing with you the insights and experiences of the greatest souls of the past, and I will offer you comfort and forgiveness when you are troubled by the painful choices you made."

Imagine if millions are guided by Rabbi Kushner's definition of religion - wouldn't we be more accepting of unique differences?

Wouldn't we accept our limitations - and, by accepting them, evolve beyond our wildest dreams?

Wouldn't we simultaneously be enough, while we win more than we lose?

And wouldn't we laugh more? Read more ›

Was this review helpful to you?
14 of 14 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Spiritual Sigh of Relief October 11, 2001
Format:Paperback
I was asked recently in my bible study group who I would most like to meet. It was an easy answer -- Harold Kushner. I struggled for many years (after a private Baptist school upbringing) to come to terms with my doubts about God, who was presented to me as a cruel, vengeful God. My struggle turned toward anger. After reading Rabbi Kushner's book, I felt as if a great weight were lifted from me. My soul just seemed to breathe a sigh of relief. God, as introduced by Rabbi Kushner, makes sense to me now. I have begun to see that God has simply been poorly represented by so many. This book gave me (a hard sell if there ever was one) peace. I began to study the Bible with new eyes. I began to look at myself and others with greater compassion. This is a simple book -- with life altering implications. Buy this book. Read this book. Share this book with others. (Note: Kushner's other books are wonderful as well!)
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
13 of 13 people found the following review helpful
By A Customer
Format:Audio Cassette
Having been raised in a family of six children, I was certainly able to relate to the sibling rivalry that existed because of original sin. This book was read in one day, and removed from me a whole lifetime of guilt from not understanding the bigger picture of my family's hardship. All of my other brothers and sisters are getting this book as a present this year, so that they too can understsand how God's love for us as individuals overcomes any childhood adversity we may have had. In addition, the myth of how Eve was created as a second to Adam was destroyed forever. Now as I prepare to enter into a marriage with 'my better half', I am able to realize the importance of finding the other person that completes you spiritually, emotionally, and physically. Thank you Harold Kushner!
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars One of the Best "Self-Help" Books Ever March 2, 2001
By A Customer
Format:Paperback
I'm not much on self-help books, and I really never have been. Three years ago, a college course required me to pick up a self help book and evaluate it. This just happened to be the book I picked up- and by the end of the very day I picked it up, I was finished with it. Since then, I have used it as a reference to help me clear guilty/remorseful/vengeful/spiteful & other mentally draining thoughts from my head.

Kushner has a God-given ability to write from the very depths of his soul, and in doing so, he creates an instant rapport with his readers- one that hits them in the heart emotionally, and causes the reader to sit and reflect often.

His "arguments" are wonderfully explained, some may be too "radical" for those who are of the Christian Right mentality, but Kushner defends his points with flair, and a deep down desire to find true meaning in our daily lives. Kushner reveals incredible, thought provoking stories and parables of his life- soem of bliss, some of personal discovery, and some of hardship and pain- and all of these stories are pertinent and relevant to the material at hand.

If words make you cry, several of these stories, and several of these conclusions may just hit a soft spot, even for those who are hardened.

Guilt and Forgiveness- to incredibly difficult subjects that the "human condition" has a hard time dealing with. Kushner takes the reader by the hand, calms you, and walks you down a road and path that more people should consider taking.

If you read any self help book, read this one.

Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
11 of 12 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars Sound advice and interesting interpretation May 18, 2000
By DDDDDDD
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
Self-help books have a (deserved) reputation of being both trite and loaded with psycho-babble.

This book is an exception. I liked the reinterpretation of Eve's act of eating and sharing the apple. It was an act of liberation for mankind, one of the bravest acts in human history - in fact, it made possible humanity *entering* history by finally giving us a choice of good and evil

It is perhaps the sincerity and simplicity of Kushner subsequent message that moved me: You don't have to be perfect to be loved, nor should you expect people you love to be perfect. You should love the whole person; not disregard their faults ("blind love"), but accept the person with their quirks and iconoclastic behavior.
Whenever I get angry with someone I love, I think about that, and my anger vanishes.

I bought a copy for my sister.
Comment | 
Was this review helpful to you?
Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Kushner offers a realistic understanding of the Creation story and...
I find this book to be more helpful that the Bible, in understanding guilt and forgiveness than I have ever heard in a Christian setting. Read more
Published 18 days ago by Phil H.
5.0 out of 5 stars Great book and Service!
My husband is a LCSW, and feels that this an invaluable resource for his counseling practice. The way in which the author presented the material makes it very easy for the lay... Read more
Published 2 months ago by Dee Weathersby
3.0 out of 5 stars Agree with the sentiment - don't rate the book
Objectively reviewing a book is hard at the best of times. Typically one finds it hard to tone back scathe, or worship. Read more
Published 2 months ago by T. Edmund
5.0 out of 5 stars forgiveness
Well done by a rabbi. Excellent insight. Glad I read it. Have recommended it to others & am gratified by the response.
Published 8 months ago by Dan
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
This is a great book with refreshing perspectives on the events in the garden of eden. The parent child chapter is the best in the book.
Published 10 months ago by jenny
4.0 out of 5 stars How Good Do We Have To Be?
The "new" books arrived in a timely manner. However, the cover edges of each "new" book were somewhat frayed and worn, as if they had been roughly handled or shelved badly. Read more
Published 17 months ago by Jyl A. Crockett
2.0 out of 5 stars How Humble Should We Be?
Despite Rabbi Kushner's protest, the Bible clearly teaches that one violation of God's law does indeed wipe out all we have. God doesn't grade on a curve. Read more
Published on April 4, 2011 by pastor d
4.0 out of 5 stars How good do we have to be?
A truly liberating book with a liberating message, on human "wholeness", rather than perfection. Rabbi Kushner draws a unique and different parrallel with the creation story in the... Read more
Published on July 10, 2010 by Elizabeth Laine
5.0 out of 5 stars Great Book
Harold Kushner is a timeless, compassionate writer. His senarios are easy to recognize in our everyday life.
Published on February 6, 2010 by Judith A. Gardner
5.0 out of 5 stars How Good do you have to be?
This is an excellent book, which provides a wealth of new insights. I particularly admired the fresh view of the Chapter in Genesis describing the "tree of the knowledge of good... Read more
Published on April 25, 2009 by John M. Schneider
Search Customer Reviews
Only search this product's reviews

What Other Items Do Customers Buy After Viewing This Item?


Sell a Digital Version of This Book in the Kindle Store

If you are a publisher or author and hold the digital rights to a book, you can sell a digital version of it in our Kindle Store. Learn more

Forums

There are no discussions about this product yet.
Be the first to discuss this product with the community.
Start a new discussion
Topic:
First post:
Prompts for sign-in
 



So You'd Like to...


Create a guide


Look for Similar Items by Category