Most Helpful Customer Reviews
15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
How about a 15 on a 1-10 scale?, December 12, 1997
I have an admission: I can't process Duke Robinson's book as fast as I would like. That's because it contains vast insight into how we would-be nice folk trip over ourselves. So, I'm reading it slowly and taking time for reflection. But I'm also trying new behaviors that the author suggests. For example, I've started saying "I'll have to get back to you" when my own reactivity kicks in. A simple suggestion, almost common sense. But it helps preserve important relationships and gives me time to come up with a calm, healing response. If you feel a need to be perfect, if you lose yourself into other people's problems, if you sputter in the face of ambush, if you have trouble saying what you want, this book is for you. It offers practical, down-to-earth, doable ideas that work. But be warned: the author will help you envision the climb toward more authentic niceness, and he will provide some handholds. But the work will be up to you. If you're like me, you will find his suggestions difficult to pull off. But the effort will be worthwhile.
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11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Being "nice" isn't always as good as it looks!, February 14, 1999
Always being "nice" looks so good from the outside, but oh, the pain that is there inside. Duke Robinson's touching book guides you through simple, yet challanging steps to relieve that pain forever. My first intention was to read this book as a self-help guide in learnng how to deal with my mistakes. I found my "niceness" in many chapters and immediately began trying some of the suggested changes. They do work and I feel better! Being a believer that continuing education is a lifelong process, I want to share this book with others. Using the author's study guide, I plan to introduce "Good Intentions" to an adult study group at my church.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Duke has great ideas for all of us!, August 29, 1997
I write in response to the guy who felt "totally ripped off" by the chapter in this book on dealing with irrational attacks.
I can't tell whether he's baiting the author to see if he'll follow his own directions, or if he's simply throwing a childish tantrum that illustrates the excessive and irrational attacks people often have to suffer. Either way, he obviously didn't get it, and although he calls himself a "fairly nice, sensitive, compassionate person," his letter makes that difficult to believe. Perhaps if he had read the whole book and used the practical exercises, he would have seen how helpful this book could be.
This book opened my eyes to a lot of important insights into how my "niceness" has undercut my integrity and effectiveness as a person. I'm impressed with the substance and clarity with which it's written, and especially the fact that I couldn't find any "psychobabble." I'm also impressed with the balance of theorhetical understanding and practical information. It's been of tremendous help to me. I cannot recommend it too highly.
I was recently interviewing for a job and was called in for EIGHT interviews. The stress was on! Duke helped me to see the big picture, to focus on what I wanted and needed, and not be bogged down with needless baggage that some of us "nice" people carry with us.
This book has helped me with personal relationships at home and with friends, has refocused my attention to my communication methods so that I use clear and succinct wording, and it has helped me see that nice guys can finish first.
Thanks, Duke. The book is great
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