Customer Reviews

Good Intentions: The Nine Unconscious Mistakes of Nice People

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I have an admission: I can't process Duke Robinson's book as fast as I would like. That's because it contains vast insight into how we would-be nice folk trip over ourselves. So, I'm reading it slowly and taking time for reflection.

But I'm also trying new behaviors that the author suggests. For example, I've started saying "I'll have to get back to you" when my own reactivity kicks in. A simple suggestion, almost common sense. But it helps preserve important relationships and gives me time to come up with a calm, healing response.

If you feel a need to be perfect, if you lose yourself into other people's problems, if you sputter in the face of ambush, if you have trouble saying what you want, this book is for you. It offers practical, down-to-earth, doable ideas that work.

But be warned: the author will help you envision the climb toward more authentic niceness, and he will provide some handholds. But the work will be up to you. If you're like me, you will find his suggestions difficult to pull off. But the effort will be worthwhile.

Always being "nice" looks so good from the outside, but oh, the pain that is there inside. Duke Robinson's touching book guides you through simple, yet challanging steps to relieve that pain forever.

My first intention was to read this book as a self-help guide in learnng how to deal with my mistakes. I found my "niceness" in many chapters and immediately began trying some of the suggested changes. They do work and I feel better!

Being a believer that continuing education is a lifelong process, I want to share this book with others. Using the author's study guide, I plan to introduce "Good Intentions" to an adult study group at my church.

I write in response to the guy who felt "totally ripped off" by the chapter in this book on dealing with irrational attacks.

I can't tell whether he's baiting the author to see if he'll follow his own directions, or if he's simply throwing a childish tantrum that illustrates the excessive and irrational attacks people often have to suffer. Either way, he obviously didn't get it, and although he calls himself a "fairly nice, sensitive, compassionate person," his letter makes that difficult to believe. Perhaps if he had read the whole book and used the practical exercises, he would have seen how helpful this book could be.

This book opened my eyes to a lot of important insights into how my "niceness" has undercut my integrity and effectiveness as a person. I'm impressed with the substance and clarity with which it's written, and especially the fact that I couldn't find any "psychobabble." I'm also impressed with the balance of theorhetical understanding and practical information. It's been of tremendous help to me. I cannot recommend it too highly.

I was recently interviewing for a job and was called in for EIGHT interviews. The stress was on! Duke helped me to see the big picture, to focus on what I wanted and needed, and not be bogged down with needless baggage that some of us "nice" people carry with us.

This book has helped me with personal relationships at home and with friends, has refocused my attention to my communication methods so that I use clear and succinct wording, and it has helped me see that nice guys can finish first.

Thanks, Duke. The book is great

In Chapter 6 of his book "Good Intentions," author Duke Robinson explains why `telling little lit' is one of "The Nine Unconscious Mistakes of Nice People," even though we all know that it is often much more difficult to tell the truth. With this in mind, I cannot describe my experiences of reading it three times and listening to the tape twice as `enjoyable.' Reading this book and absorbing its wisdom is hard work. It should not be read from cover to cover in one sitting. It is much better to read it one chapter at ta time, with a few days - or a week - in between to mull over, discuss, and argue with its startling assertions long enough to understand how true they are and wonder: "Why didn't I think of that long ago?"

Like much hard work, however, there is a rich payoff, as we begin to understand ourselves and our relationships to our fellows more clearly. Duke Robinson has made a remarkable contribution to human relations.

I urge you to read it. Slowly.

Recently Liberal Arts Graduate.
(After 55 years at Penn State)

This is one Oprah should have picked up on -- solid and witty advice on how to stop making those same mistakes, and start getting a grip on your own life. I read it slowly, absorbing its wisdom in increments...I recommend it to anyone who has a berth on this crazy ship called Earth.

This book should be helpful to most people who want to be nice but cannot handle criticism, anger, grief, excessive requests and other normal facts of life. It is very readable and practical and most people will find it useful for themselves, or particularly suitable for a family member who cannot navigate the choppy waters of today's society

We do not have to expect
that this book can completely change our life,
but it will surely help !

Taking to heart and putting into practice the advice of this book will help you clean up your relationships. I've had some success. I recommend that groups get hold of this and use it. I understand the author has a study guide. Good move. I think the book will appeal to people of all persuasions.

Duke Robinson's celebration of life, and com-passion for others is evident in this book.I thought I knew everything....but found somuch useful to me.His years of experience with people, andsituations often complex, only begin withthis book. I can't wait for the next.

Reading "Good Intentions" evoked feelings similar to those when I first read Emerson's "Self Reliance" in college. The power of the book comes from reading in print what I have experienced, fell prey to, and have had similar thoughts on in the areas of personal relationships, anger and trying to always do the "right" thing. The pleasure of the read is having my own inner-examination verified and examined in an easy to read manner.

I found the sections on anger and reasoning with irrationality excellent reference guides for healthy management of these (nearly) everyday occurences. This book will be kept on my shelf as a reference book for life. Thanks for writing it Duke!