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Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck Paperback – June 3, 2014


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Good Manners for Nice People Who Sometimes Say F*ck + I See Rude People: One woman's battle to beat some manners into impolite society
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 304 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (June 3, 2014)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1250030714
  • ISBN-13: 978-1250030719
  • Product Dimensions: 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 8.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (27 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #4,650 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"This book is a gem. Hysterically funny and grounded in science, Amy Alkon explains why so many people are rude and how it's possible to be courteous, even if you're foul-mouthed and clueless about etiquette."—Adam Grant, Wharton School professor and bestselling author of Give and Take: Why Helping Others Drives Our Success
"If you're frequently left gasping by the jaw-dropping social ineptitude of your fellow human beings, or you're guilty of being a rude jackass yourself from time to time, this is the book for you. Alkon doesn’t suffer fools lightly, but she also has the gentle wisdom to know that each of us plays the role of the fool sometimes. Armed with fascinating science, great humor, and a preternatural bullshit detector for a mind, she shoots from the hip – and you'll be damn glad she does, too."—Jesse Bering, Associate Professor of Science Communication and author of Perv

Praise for I See Rude People:
"This crazy redhead is on to something. Her pink Rambler story alone is worth the price of the book."—Elmore Leonard
"Amy Alkon is intellectually promiscuous—and funny as hell."—Howard Bloom, paleopsychologist and author of The Lucifer Principle
"Seriously great book. Alkon is smart and savvy and funny as hell. Where Hannibal the Cannibal only ate the rude, Alkon stands up to them with the sort of glorious panache that sometimes makes you want to stand and cheer."—David Middleton, January Magazine

Praise for Amy Alkon:

"Alkon turns reporting on findings in evolutionary psychology into an art form. She scans the research horizon for fascinating new results. Though relentless in her skepticism, she is keenly attuned to findings that are both solid and suggestive. (The world lost a great analyst when Alkon turned away from academic research.) In her hands, all this research turns into practical advice for how ordinary people can live better lives. Alkon may be, as the LA Weekly put it, 'Miss Manners With Fangs,' but she is perhaps better characterized as the offspring of Charles Darwin and Dorothy Parker. We academics can all take a lesson from her ability to redefine academic turf in terms 'the ordinary person' can both understand and enjoy."--Dr. Barbara Oakley, Oakland University

About the Author

Amy Alkon writes The Advice Goddess, an award-winning, syndicated column that runs in more than one hundred newspapers across the United States and Canada. She is also the author of I See Rude People. She has been on Good Morning America, The Today Show, NPR, CNN, MTV, and Entertainment Tonight and has a weekly radio show called Advice Goddess Radio. She has also written for Psychology Today, Los Angeles Times, Los Angeles Times Magazine, Daily News (New York), and Pravda, among others. She lives in Venice, California.

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Customer Reviews

4.7 out of 5 stars
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See all 27 customer reviews
Fun book to read with smart advice.
Patsy
This world would be a much nicer place if everyone followed the principles Amy Alkon shares.
cgram
You may not realize how much you need this book until you read it.
J. Baker

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

26 of 28 people found the following review helpful By Virginia music lover on June 3, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
There's a new kid on the block, and she is really funny.

I got the book a day early (thanks, Amazon) and wanted to tell everyone that the literary rarity, an American humorist, has hit our shores.

This humor arrives on the vehicle of a manners book, but it is more about how to get through the hell of existence we sometimes face without injuring your soul or the other person's soul. In other words, it tells you how to cool it, but nonetheless how to get the other person's attention when they are being annoying. That's a tough task, and the fact that Alkon says this while making you laugh makes this a great summer read.

Here's a sample of the prose -- she introduces a topic about getting along with the neighbor with:

"If you want to avoid cage-fighting the neighbor in the Homeowners' Association gazebo . . .".

She is consistently funny, page after page.

I highly value this book because there are so few good humor writers. Recall that when you went into a bookstore (remember those?) you'd see miles of fiction shelves, but just a tiny space for humor, half of which were reprints of comics? So here's one to add to that small space.
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Format: Paperback
This is not your grandmother's manners book! Comparing it to any book with a section on addressing wedding invitations would be a mistake. This book is about how to not end up in a viral video for being a jerk. It deals with etiquette issues that desperately need addressing (e.g. how to not be a cellphone boor) as well as the question of why people seem ruder than ever... and what we can do about it. Perhaps most importantly, it doesn't simply chirp to "set a good example" but is empowering in that explains how we can influence others to behave better, without being a jerk about it, of course.

...And it's funny too.

(more details about this book are available on our website)
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By J. Baker on June 16, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
An English friend once explained to me that "proper" Brits could not use salt shakers. They had to spoon the salt onto the rim of their plates and transport it to their food with the tip of a knife. That rule changed abruptly when Prince Charles was caught on camera salting his food directly from the shaker, giving the whole country permission to do the same. Perhaps that is how etiquette evolves in a rigid class society, but where do the rest of us go to learn how to live harmoniously with each other long after we have outgrown Miss Manners and Emily Post?

You may not realize how much you need this book until you read it. This sassy, classy, redhead is assertive enough to take on the monumental task of spelling out everything you need to know about how to co-exist with almost eight billion other people without losing your sanity or your humanity. For example: do you know when it's OK to cold call someone? (Never.) When you should leave a voice mail? (Don't.) What to do when stuck in a row of airplane seats with four armrests for six arms? (The two end passengers get one and a half armrests each; the squishee in the middle gets two halves.)

Be prepared to find out some things about yourself that you didn't want to know. Are you a cheapskate who has been under-tipping? A helpful person giving out unwanted advice? Amy is such a talented and entertaining writer that she can say the things your friends won't tell you and do it with such humor and tact that you actually enjoy the process!
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Mark Goulston on June 15, 2014
Format: Paperback
This is the perfect book for people who say, "F---," when they are utterly frustrated by a situation. It is not to be confused as a book for people who say, "F--- you" when they are angry at others, because that only fans the flames.

What's best about the book is that Alkon is as thoughtful, intelligent and well researched as she is witty.

A definite 5 star read.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Patricia buckley on July 24, 2014
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
After reading Advice Goddess in my local paper and noticing the author's email address, I took the liberty of telling the author how hilarious her advice was. Amy Alkon has an ability to say what is on her mind in such a way that the reader sees the world in a whole new way. She has an educated understanding of psychology and technology coupled with a warm embrace of humanity.

After buying "Good Manners" which I thoroughly enjoyed from cover to cover, I realized that the behavior of certain people upsets each one of us but the majority of us just walk away. As an activist for preventing further actions that cause misery to others, Amy differentiates from most people. She is a champion in this regard and takes action. We need more people in the world to step up to the plate and say or do something when slighted or offended.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Melissa Goldstein on July 22, 2014
Format: Paperback
I myself definitely like to say F--k sometimes! Sometimes there's just no other word in the English language that can capture the moment. Amy cuts right through the Bullshit.

This book was fun and hilarious and tons of moments when I found myself saying "yes! that is SO True!!!!".
Her stories and writing style are completely relatable to everyone living in the world. She takes tons of situations and essentially says "this is how things are and then tells us how things REALLY are"; things we always already suspected but perhaps don't want to say or admit.

She talks about the many annoyances we all endure simply by being alive whether it be from inane cell phone conversations blaring in our ears, phone etiquette, dating, internet, technology in general and how to apologize..., what not to do and when the truth is far worse than any lie.

One example she gave about email (spoiler alert) was hot there's no greater example of passive aggression than the "cc". Anyone with a job knows all about this lovely function! Where you're publicly humiliated in front of everyone on the email chain. She goes onto say that the Blind Copy feature is better because even though we may KNOW that email travels a billion miles an hour to everyone in the universe if we don't SEE the fact that it's been copied to x,y and z person we can delude ourselves into believing this is not the case.

I look forward to reading more by Amy.
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