Customer Reviews

The Good Mother

5 star:		(10)
4 star:		(20)
3 star:		(8)
2 star:		(4)
1 star:		(8)

 

 

Sue Miller's story of a recently divorced mother of a 3 year old child raises moral issues regarding society's expectations of a good mother. Anna blooms sexually with Leo, but in the process "forgets" her child. The open acceptance of sexual relations and acceptance of the body leads to a clash between Anna's views and the views of her ex-husband. The novel tells Anna's story, but deals with perceptions of morality that trap too many people (men and women) today. You might be surprised who in your life thinks Anna is a good mother and who does not (and don't expect clean breaks on gender lines). Highly recommended.

I first read "While I was Gone" and became hooked on Sue Miller's writing. Just had to read "The Good Mother" and found it even better. Miller has the uncanny ability of taking flawed characters and allowing us to find some redeeming qualities, some reason to like them. Her words trigger something in all of us, that no matter how sad the story, you can't lay the book down. It haunts you days after you read it. The story focuses on Anna's poor parenting, yet Miller subtly uses the court testimony of the psychiatrist to define Anna's better qualities, and explains why, despite her irrational sexual behavior, she was a "good mother." Prior to Leo, Anna developed an emotional bond with Molly, giving her a sense of security and inner strength. And despite the tormented years that would inevitably follow the divorce and custody battle, we're told that Molly will survive emotionally because Anna is her "inner parent." She, in effect, became a piece of Molly forever. To many, that would make Anna a "good mother." Thought provoking book and author.

_The Good Mother_ manages to tell a painful story without losing its moral complexity. On the one hand, we can sympathize with Anna for wanting a relationship that feels real to her. On the other hand, she is not made to be a hero and I expect that more than one reader had mixed feelings about the consequences of her actions with Leo. It's a book about a woman's desire to be swept away by love, and what happens when she gets her wish in the context of being the custodian of a small child. The writing is clear and the book is a quick read.

This was a very realistic story of a divorced mother and her choice to love a man. It is very hard to begin a life again after a painful divorce, especially when it is not by your choice. Anna Dunlap had to face this challenge alone with a 4 year old daughter, Molly. She decided to move on with her life and try to love again. This was a decision that she probably regretted most in her ordeal, but she would have never known it could come to her losing her child. We all make decisions that we regret later, without any forshadow, but then we have to learn to live with our choices. Anna was naive about a few things in choosing her mate, Leo. One, he had no children of his own and two, she slept with him so soon after the first date. That to me was the foreshadow that things were not going to be pretty. The trial, the aftermath and the romance was very real. Sue Miller did a good job intoducing us to Anna Dunlap. All characters were fully developed and the story line was captivating. Job well done.

"The Good Mother" is the painful story of a woman, Anna, who tries to rebuild her life with her 6-year-old daughter Molly after she splits up with her husband, Brian. She moves, gets a job, and eventually develops a relationship with a man, Leo, who brings out parts of herself she hadn't expressed before. An unfortunate incident triggers Brian to take legal action to get custody of Molly, which is all the more surprising after their reasonably amicable divorce. The book covers the legal proceedings and Anna's stunned reaction to it, how it harms her relationships with Leo. Once again, we see Anna steel herself against her losses, starting over again, each time more distant and further inside herself.

This book is very real. I found it a compelling portrait of how the community and the legal system respond to personal issues having to do with raising children and sexuality. There is something very scary about how the courts can so dramatically affect our lives, even when the system does not seem well set up to determine what's right or what's best. But moreso, I was interested in Anna, how she adapted to the divorce by turning into herself, how she gradually emerges in her new relationship, but still with a harder, private self that she protects. Once the accusations break, again I felt her drawing in, numbing herself to her world and those who care about her. It rang true to me as the way many women (perhaps men too) deal with this type of hardship. In many ways, this book reminded me of Jane Hamilton's "A Map of the World," which also explored society's reaction to family issues and a woman's reaction to loss.

The book spends some time discussing Anna's childhood as a piano student who never made it to prodigy status, and how that disappointment dominated her large extended family's perception of her, and therefore her perception of herself. There is an interesting contrast with the other side of her family, which seems cold and empty, but at least does not judge her, offering her a odd kind of comfort. Although this aspect of her life was interesting and helped draw my picture of Anna, I felt like there was still something missing in the connection between Anna the child, and Anna the adult. We eventually hear the stories that bring Anna from adolescence to her marriage, but somehow I didn't gain the sense of satisfaction that I did in Miller's "While I Was Gone" when the main character's life story came together. Still, Miller's perceptiveness and her ability to tell a compelling, thought-provoking story make this book a solid, enjoyable read.

I couldn't put this book down! Miller has written a book that at times is troubling, and at times suspenseful, and ends on a shocking and sad note. No, I didn't respect the choices that the main character Anna made at times, and I think her character remained kind of stagnant and a little self absorbed throughout the book, but it was the premise behind the story that gripped me: Other people can and will decide for a child if a situation is deemed unfit.

Was Molly's situation with her mother unstable or unfit based upon Anna's lifestyle and the two incidents that brought it all to question? Opinions will vary if Anna was indeed A "Good Mother", and for that reason I find this book extremely thought provoking and well thought out.

A good, deep read.

I've come to really enjoy Miller's novels, and she surely didn't disappoint here. Anna and her daughter Molly are together after Anna's divorce. Then Leo comes into the picture, and a whole new world is opened to Anna. So much so, that before she knows it, her daughter is taken from her and what she knew as happiness falls apart. Anna is very introspective, very aware of her own emotion as others decide if she will get Molly back. One thing that seemed out of place was Molly dialog because it was very intelligent and perhaps too self aware for a toddler. But perhaps Miller did this on purpose, and it just didn't sit with me. Regardless, this was an excellent book.

I had read two other Sue Miller books and liked them so I decided to read this one. Several times I almost put it down, but stayed with it because of the favorable reviews I read on this site. While I like a book where the main character is flawed, generally I wind up caring about that character and rooting for them. In this case, I didn't like Anna and found her to be unsympathetic. I actually wasn't crazy about most of the characters in the book. Of course, the little girl was lovable. Leo, while flawed and certainly short on good judgement, was overall more sympathetic than Anna. The incident that occurred is understandable in the context of blurred boundaries in the Anna-Leo household and would be met with outrage in the Brian-Brenda household. I can see how that plot is a sound one in that it is troubling but not totally black and white. I do think that both Leo and Anna learned a lot from it and the it all could have been handled better, but people don't always behave reasonably. But, it seemed to me that Anna was frigid emotionally as well as sexually and this manifested throughout her life and it's not clear why. Nor is it clear where her destructive behavior towards herself and her family is coming from. Her family is far from perfect, but not nearly terrible enough to explain these things. I would not recommend this book.

There are a few of the things I think are great about Sue Miller's writing:

1) She treats all her characters with compassion and respect - her characters are not diaphanous or caricatures and she doesn't make a point of letting you know which ones you should and shouldn't like... they are just like "real" people you can actually relate to

2) she is not a fan of sugar-coating

This is an honest, compelling, and hard-hitting novel which doesn't force easy solutions or a happy ending, and I think it's a much stronger and more valid novel than most for it

THE GOOD MOTHER is not just the story of Anna Dunlap and the love she has for her child, but it's also the story of why Anna behaved the way she did and why she made the choices she did in her life.

Anna is a divorced woman with a young daughter, Molly. She will do anything for her daughter. But throughout the book, Anna's focus is not always on Molly. She "forgets" Molly. It is while Anna is trying to deal with some important issues that she makes some very foolish mistakes, mistakes that could have been avoided if she had been paying more attention. These mistakes ultimately changes her relationship with her daughter,and her lover, Leo.

The first part of this book goes into great detail the story of her childhood. Without this first part, the reader wont understand totally what makes Anna tick. Everything from her piano lessons, to her relationship with her mother and her mother's clan, help explain why she did the things she did as an adult. Her love of her aunt Babe was a big influence from her childhood. Babe was a very eccentric young woman, and represented to Anna unconventionality and in some ways Freedom. Anna herself seemed to want to be uninhibited, but could not totaly be that way without feeling the guilt that was handed down to her by her mother's family.

The second part of the book dealt with the custody battle that Anna had to fight with her ex husband. The pace was fast in this 2nd part of the novel, and i found that I could not put the book down. I wanted to know what happened next.

I enjoyed reading this book, but give it 4 stars because I felt it could have been written better. The book I think was a bit choppy, with the first part totally being devoted to her childhood. I think it would have read better if the book was written in flashbacks.

I also had a hard time liking this character, Anna Dunlap. As with Sue Miller's WHEN I WAS GONE, i again felt that the main character was totally unlikeable and i didn't feel too much sympathy for her. But I think that is what kept me reading this book. I wanted to find out how Anna resolved her problems. Maybe creating an unlikeable character helped make this book a fast read for me.