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Good News About Sex and Marriage: Answers to Your Honest Questions About Catholic Teaching

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I'm unimpressed with most Catholic sex books -- they're either too sappy and prudishly vague, or too clinical, or try to be too cute in their orientation toward teens, or are just plain heterodox.

This one is different. It's frank, without being prurient. It's clear. It's written for grown-ups. And best of all, from its sound practical advice to its soaring theological reflection, it's thoroughly Catholic.

Archbishop Chaput said it best: "Do the Church -- and yourself -- a favor: Read and reread this book. Encourage everyone you know to do the same."

This is an excellent resource for anyone desiring to know what the Catholic Church really teaches about sex and marriage. It is clear and concise, and answers lots of tough questions. Christopher West does an excellent job of bringing John Paul II's "Theology of the Body" to the people. What a great way for readers to discover the "nuptial meaning of the body" from an internationally recognized speaker on the subject!

The chapters of this book clearly build upon one another, starting with "The Great Mystery: Laying the Foundation." Subsequent chapters cover Church Authority, Basics of Marriage, Chastity Outside of Marriage, Chastity within Marriage, Contraception, Reproductive Technologies, Same-Sex Attraction, and Sex and the Celibate Vocation.

I would highly recommend this book to parents, married or engaged couples, Catholic teachers, marriage preparation ministers, or anyone desiring to know more about authentic Catholic teaching on sex and marriage.

I have searched and searched for several decades for a true meaning of human sexuality. I found secular teachers disappointing in their promises of physical pleasures and Christian writers just as disappointing when addressing the soul. No one seemed to present sexuality and marriage in a more cosmic sense of what is really taking place. Christopher West does an outstanding job of introducing us to the Pope's explosive thinking on the total human person - body, soul and spirit. How awesome we really are! And how critically wonderful our sexuality is.

West does a fine job of showing how we can understand our nuptial life in marriage in the context of Baptism and the Eucharist. Of considering the nuptial embrace to be meant to occur in the light with eyes wide open, both spouses celebrating and reaffirming their vows over and over. After absorbing West's work, I encourage you to delve into John Paul's "The Theology of the Body" and "Love and Responsibility".

I do like West stepping forward and away from the euphimisims that plague most Catholic texts on human sexuality. The Cathechism refers to "acts proper and exclusive to marriage". West actually goes further and addresses parts of the genitalia and to oral and anal sex. He meets us where we are, i.e., in the midst of a culture that shows no reserve about sex and relationships. And helps one to sort it all out.

I do have one reservation about his book though. I sense that he is presenting the Pope's teaching and his own views at the same time. But where does the Pope leave off and West continue? This is why I am also reading the Pope's on words as well.

My wife and I have recently been reunited in our marriage of 32 years after an eight year separation. We have been so impressed with the Pope's teaching as presented by West that we agreed to continue our marriage using this book as the basis for our sexual life.

One last note. Some may resist the Pope's, indeed the Church's, teaching on sex and marriage. Some may say that they must understand before they accept this teaching. Interestingly, wisdom does not work that way. Rather, I have learned to allow wisdom to embrace me and through this obedience I then understand its practicality and effectiveness. West's book is wisdom presented very well!

Having been a student of John Paul II's writings and teachings on the Theology of the Body and having studied his personalistic approach to the human person in graduate school (yes, I am tooting my horn...but more on that in a minute) I can speak to this book with an informed conscience.

First off this book is a useful tool for all who want to understand the Pope?s Theology of the Body better. West uses mostly a Q&A format that is user-friendly and easy to read yet he answers most questions very adequately. I recommend that you read the book front to back rather than skipping ahead to the questions that interest you most because your familiarity with the foundational material will help you understand the questions that follow.

West approaches topics timely to all people. It would be a favor to yourself if you read it.

Now as a response to those that think he is "one-sided" in his approach to Catholic moral teaching I would like to give an answer to this. The critics on this site seems to reduce their arguments against West's text to the argument that he has simplified something much more complex. I beg to differ.

I will address a few statements by one reviewer that adequately sum up their disagreements. They say "We shouldn't just willy-nilly disagree with a Church teaching without first researching what the Church says about it."
--In other words, this person seems to say that all we have to do to disagree with a teaching of the Church is to research it enough and THEN disagree. But, they go on:
"However, if we do research it and pray about it, and still honestly do not agree with the Church, then our conscience should be our guide."
--My response is Yes and No.
Yes, freedom of conscience is paramount, but that doesn't mean we can act on a decision to disagree with the Church so easily. True freedom isn't to do what we wish, but is freedom FOR the good. In this freedom we find our dignity. Our uniqueness and freedom isn't lost in aligning ourselves with the truth, but is rather found there.

Freedom of conscience is NOT freedom from the truth but rather freedom IN the truth. While Veritatis Splendor by JPII goes into much more detail of this freedom (as does the Catechism in 1776-1809) I can only briefly touch on it here.

The moment that one opens himself to the huge metaphysical claim that truth exists, then you have to ask the question of epistemolgy - how does one know this objective truth? The Church in the CCC and in the tradition of the Church has consistently said that it is known in right reason and Revelation and that the conscience can be wronly formed away from these truths.

Here is where the error in the critics lies. To argue that no moral teaching of the Church can take precedence over our conscience is correct in the sense that we must follow our consciences. But, it forgets that we are a fallen people that seemingly want to do as we please and can misform our own consciences. The teachings that you can dissent from the teaching on contraception (and other teachings) and stay in that place is dangerous. We are still called to assent to the teachings.

The real question isn't whether or not authority is a good or bad thing but rather which authority is most reasonable and prudent to follow. A conscience that could possible be misformed or the teachings of the Church of Christ...okay, that is enough. By the way, the only reason I started out putting up some credentials is because I have heard more than once the statement that those that actually assent to the Church teachings just aren't educated in the alternative. I highly disagree and won't comment further, but to say that I have an article on this subject in the May/June 2002 The Catholic Faith magazine that goes into greater detail.
Peace.

I'm a non-Catholic and have always felt the Protestant denominations I have been a part of were somehow missing something spiritual by embracing birth control, separating the creative act from the intimacy of lovemaking, as well as embracing a more "recreational" view of sex in marriage. I could not put my finger on why I intuitively longed for more meaning in the sexual experience but Mr. West has addressed many of the things in this book that I somehow knew to be true in my spirit, but was not taught in my church--bravo West! You have done us all a great service in addressing these at times complex issues regarding human sexuality in plain language, pulling back the curtain on the original design for wedded bliss,and the joys to be found in highlighting the spiritual symbolism and ultimate meaning found in one of God's greatest gifts... we are greatly endebted to you.

I grew up among devout Catholics, and thought I knew what the Church really taught on morality, specifically sexuality. I had read many teen books on dating (by the way, I myself am Catholic and agreed with what I was taught). This book changed my thinking. West, using the writings of Pope, shed new light on this touchy subject, and made me see how beautiful our bodies are, and how much of a sacred and awesome thing sex can be, when done in the right context. In the midst of a university where I am always being accused of "suppressing my sexuality" and "letting the Church dictate what I do with my body", West has turned the tables and has made me want to tell everyone that they need to free up their own sexuality, which has been enslaved by the views of the secular world. Read this book, whether you're a young adult, engaged or have been married for 30 years, and I guarantee it will change your thinking.

I missed the opportunity to hear Christopher West speak, but thanks to a friend, was able to listen to his tapes. AMAZING! It literally changed my entire perspective on life. This is about more than sex and marriage - it's about life and the meaning of it. West's discussion of Pope John Paul II's Theology of the Body, brought me out of the slump I had been in spiritually, and I've been riding high since hearing those tapes.

Now I've read the book, and while hearing West explain these thoughts is more powerful than reading the book, the book helps me see things more concretely. I can't stop talking about West's ministry and the ideas he presents. I've ordered multiple copies of the book for my family and friends and can't wait to give it away. Even those who aren't Catholic can't help but see the truth about this subject as presented by West. Our society is in trouble, and it stems from misconceptions about the purpose and meaning of sex and marriage. There is hope, however, and it comes from understanding the true purpose of our bodies. Learn all you can about our pope's teaching on the body and help change the world!

Disclosure: I am related to and acquainted with the author.

Take the subtitle of this book seriously -- "Answers to your honest questions..." Christopher West has done a great job of surveying the questions that believing Christians have about sexual morality and the meaning of marriage. I highly recommend it for engaged couples or for those conducting marriage prep courses. Christopher doesn't beat you over the head with teachings, he just carefully explains why Christians believe what they do, and why that is so amazingly important. If you approach the book with "honest questions," you will be really blessed by the insights you will gain about the nature of the human person, the nature of marriage, and God's role in that relationship.

Much of the book follows a "Question and Answer" format. There will surely be some temptation to just look up your particular question. While it is helpful when used this way, I recommend actually reading it through. The book is carefully structured to provide a firm foundation for its answers, which will enable you to more fully understand the implications of your own responses to these questions. Read it straight through, you'll be very glad you did.

There is truly no better gift you can give to those engaged and married than the wisdom of this book. If you're like those of us who were married before it was written, get it for us too! It's never too late to improve your marriage with the life-transforming power of this book. Truly an inspiration of the Holy Spirit, Christopher West powerfully and eloquently explains John Paul II's Theology of the Body and how it can and will radically transform the world we live in. He explains how this "theological timebomb" is the means by which the "new evangelization" will take place, and how that will impact each and every one of our lives. This theology truly points us all as male and female to that sought after answer to the age old question of the meaning of life. By means of an introduction to the Pope's theology followed by a question and answer format, the author is able to lay the ground work for its understanding followed by specific answers and advice. If you've ever had any questions about Catholic teaching on sexual matters, you're sure to find the answer here. Christopher is able to do this with great empathy and deep insight because this very theology transformed his own life so radically. The best thing I can say is simply this; READ THE BOOK, because it will literally change the way you look at everything. If you're courageous enough to let it sink in, it will change your life forever.

I can't delay any longer in recommending this book. West does an excellent job of distilling the teachings of the Church and Pope John Paul the II on sexuality and marriage. For anyone that finds the 400+ pages of Theology of the Body daunting, this is a wonderful solution. West uses a very conversational tone, as well as some question/answer, apologetics-type formatting to outline the very good news. And West pulls no punches on topics like Church authority on these teachings! I found his discussion of our fallen nature and how it makes us prideful and unwilling to submit to authority very convincing to even the not-so-docile of heart. I don't think I am giving it justice here.

Nor does he shrink from the difficult subjects surrounding the particulars of the conjugal act. I skimmed the book before I started reading. I loved how he says... now if you skipped to this section just to get the answers to these questions, make sure you go back and read the whole book to get the context! West definitely knows his audience.

I particularly liked this book to give as a gift to young adult friends who probably would shrink at reading Kippley's Sex and the Marriage Covenant, TOTB, Archbishop Fulton Sheen's Three to Get Marriedor more difficult texts on marriage. In this short book, its all in there in a very easy to read style. West is pretty upfront about the mistakes he's made and that element of humanity fits well within the teachings he is trying to convey.

Sound theology in communion with the Magisterium, delivered in an engaging apologetic style. What a blessing!!