Good People... Bad Marriages: Wisdom to Know - Freedom to Choose - Courage to Change [Hardcover]

Marsha Lee Hudgens (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1996

Chapters cover the following: 1 - Life when commitment becomes confinement. 2 - The many emotions we call love. Love defined 3 - Begins the survey. First meeting and courtship. Red flag identification. 4 - Honeymoon and early marriage warnings. 5 - How and why we stay in or get out. What to expect from either decision. 6 - Surprising answers to how either decision really affects children, family, friends. 7 - What to expect legally. What to do when you decide to end it and how to do it. 8 - Second Marriages. Giving and getting advice. 9 - Why we drag God into it and why we shouldn't.

Editorial Reviews

Review

Looking for love? Will you recognize it when you find it? In a bad relationship and don't know what to do or how to do it? Tired of the same ineffective advice? Want to know how it really affects your kids if you stay in it for them? Want to know what your friends and family think? How did this mess happen? Is divorce always a bad thing? This book asks hundreds of ordinary people, and answers those questions and more. Based on personal experience, observation and a comprehensive study of relationships which lasted ten or more years. -- Book Description

From the Publisher

"Good People..." is being read and loved by single, divorced and married people from eighteen to eighty-five. Find out why they say "there's no other book like it."

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Product Details

• Hardcover: 144 pages
• Publisher: Estuary Publishing (October 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0965307522
• ISBN-13: 978-0965307529
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.6 x 0.7 inches
• Shipping Weight: 13.6 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (3 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #2,062,729 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Lessen guilt and get a better understanding, December 13, 1999

By A Customer

This review is from: Good People... Bad Marriages: Wisdom to Know - Freedom to Choose - Courage to Change (Hardcover)

I am currently in the beginning stages of a divorce. Married my best friend and was married 5 years. Nothing really went wrong with the marriage other than just we grew a apart. I have been feeling guilty about getting a divorce dealing with all the feelings that go along with it but this book helped. I am not a big book reader but I finished it 2 nights. And now I am going to share it with my spouse.

5.0 out of 5 stars unusual, February 13, 2009

By 

E S K (Florida) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Good People... Bad Marriages: Wisdom to Know - Freedom to Choose - Courage to Change (Hardcover)

There seem to be so many books and advice out there about working hard to save a marriage. They actually make having a good marriage sound about as pleasant as having stomach flu. In this book the author suggests that good marriages happen, because, first of all, the people involved are fairly well balanced and second of all, they were lucky and found the right match. The author says that there is probably no fixing a bad marriage, because it's just not a good match. She feels from studying information she has gathered, that in a good marriage there are disagreements and misunderstandings, but these couples work them out quite well with a minimum of fuss.
I think this way of seeing things makes more sense than thinking that marriages take continual gut wrenching work to sustain them. Maybe she's right. Maybe it's bad marriages that take gut wrenching work to keep them going. Maybe all these marriage counselors are really just shoring up marriages that are hopelessly unhappy.
The author states that it is better to have no marriage than a bad one. She lists the reasons why people probably settle for what they know deep down is a not going to be a good marriage. Two reasons which I'm not sure she mentioned are wanting to have children and wanting to believe they can have some of the happiness of married love. It's not JUST because people are expected to or that they are too needy. In my marriage even though it was never what I would have wished in every important way, I did have children I love, and I did have a partnership with my husband for a long time. The relationship lacked some important things for me, one of which was respect and true interest in and understanding of me by my husband. I mean when your husband's big disappointment in your marriage was always your no good housekeeping, you somehow don't feel he ever really saw you. I suppose people settle for the wrong person. because they decide they won't find any "right one" and they want a family and maybe they are needy. That was true of me. The author feels that people ought to marry only for love, not for what the other person can do for them. It should be because they want to love and care for that person for the rest of their lives. The author also indicated that when a person marries another for love and it is not really reciprocated, eventually that love dies.

5.0 out of 5 stars Finally some reassurance ..., September 24, 2001

By 

Dana J. Tommaney - See all my reviews

This review is from: Good People... Bad Marriages: Wisdom to Know - Freedom to Choose - Courage to Change (Hardcover)

Finally some reassurance that I was making the right decision! This book helped me with some of the guilt I was feeling over a difficult marriage and helped me see that even if we're both good people, we just made a bad decision. Very easy to read and understand.