Customer Reviews

Goodbye Good Girl : Letting Go of THE RULES and Taking Back Your Self

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I loved the title of the book the minute I saw it. I was never a "good girl" in action, but I always felt shameful because of it. This book takes a new look at old roles. Reading it was fun and uplifting. There are plenty of personal stories and I identified with most of them.

This book encourages the reader to break out of old, limiting roles but doesn't lay the blame on you or anyone else for being stuck in those roles in the first place. I read the book in about a week, very easy to read, very friendly style. I recommend it.

GOODBYE GOOD GIRL is a delightful adventure of a book! Wit and humour sometimes are the best way to tackle difficult subjects such as: how to be true to one's self and to the world without becoming entangled in the myriad expectations of other people.

In my book group, most of us had experience with one or another (and sometimes all) of the issues addressed in this book- the drive for perfection, pressure to find the "ideal relationship", body image, balancing work/home, how to take care of ourselves while still being responsive to those who depend on us for their wellbeing and productivity,etc.

The wisdom comes through in these personal stories. These voices put into words what we feel but sometimes cannot articulate. Perhaps, more depth would have been appreciated in some areas but it was useful to have all these issues brought together and defined as the "good girl syndrome". My friends ane I now have a "bad girls bench" where we take "timeouts" so that we can continue to function optimally - believe me, it really helps.

For people who (due to gender, generation or sheer iron will) have never struggled with good girl issues - you may not not need this book but I hope you realize that your grandmothers, mothers and even your daughters may not be so lucky!

The stories in this book are often familiar, sometimes painfully so, especially to those of us who grew up thinking that being a woman meant always "playing nice." But the women who talked to Swartz and Clegg have given us a way out, and their stories of change both delight and inspire. I especially liked the epigrams which frame each chapter. Do yourself a favor--curl up with this book and then share it with your best friend!

For all women, you must read this book. You will laugh and cry, the words are right out of the mouths of all of us and there are many lessons to be learned about what "good girls" don't have to do................anymore.

Using the ancient art of story telling, this book provides insight into the power of the subtle messages we receive about "THE RULES" and how to mindfully free ourselves of those contraints. It is done so without preachiness and I didn't experience the guilt that I do with so many "self-help" books. These women's stories help us recognize and confront where we are not living our lives most fully. I enjoyed this book so much that I asked my 20 year old daughter to read it. Her comments after reading it were, "I don't need this. I was raised by a feminist. But I'm giving it to three of my friends." This made me realize that, despite the progress we have made, many of us are still passing on "THE RULES" to our youth. When each of us are free to know and use our strengths and gifts as we are moved to do, without the influence of what defines a "Good Girl", all of us will experience a richer and more functional life. This book is a great step in that direction!

This book does contain some sensible advice on such issues as taking care of one's self and not caving into conventional and commercial notions of what's beautiful and what's feminine. However, it targets severely submissive women ONLY, and any woman with an ounce of backbone will cringe upon reading the ghastly depths to which some women have let themselves fall.

The authors' lack of hard research does little to explain why self-deprication and self-destructive concilliatory behaviors are prevalent in women. Instead, Clegg and Schwartz offer mere personal narratives (with negligible commentary) of women who seem to be the extreme cases of selflessness, emphasizing the subjectivity of their views.

They also indulge in some rather unctious New Age (rhymes with "Sewage") balderdash about getting in touch with nature in order for women to get in touch with themselves. While it is true that some women must start from the basics, one hopes that most women are discerning enough to see through the cliches and platitudes this book offers.

Most suspect, though, is the authors' illustrations of women at work, and their assumption that "Women often enjoy a more collaborative approach to work. There's pride in companionablity with interpersonal issues weighing heavily alongside professsional goals." Such assumptions not only depricate a woman's capacity for professional methodologies, but they are bad business advice as well. The truly savvy woman (and man) knows that the least brought into the office about one's personal life, the better.