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Goodbye, I Love You [Kindle Edition]

Carol Lynn Pearson
4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (32 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $13.99
Kindle Price: $5.99
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Book Description

The true story of a wife, her homosexual husband, and a love that transcended tragedy.

Gerald Pearson had been honest with Carol Lynn about his homosexual past, but both of them had faith that marriage and devotion to their religion would change his orientation. Love would conquer all. Then, after eight years of apparent happiness and the birth of four children, Gerald was no longer able to deny what he considered to be his essential self. Carol Lynn was shattered, her self-esteem all but destroyed. Their divorce, however, could not erase a lifetime of love and mutual support. Carol Lynn courageously stood by her former husband's side. Even when he contracted AIDS - and came home to die.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Poet and playwright Pearson here movingly recounts the difficulties and tragedies undergone by herself and her husband, a devout Utah Mormon couple. Although aware of Gerald's homosexual past, Carol had faith that marriage would overcome her husband's sexual preference. The shock of discovering, after eight years of apparent happiness and the birth of four children, that his inclination was still for males shook her belief in her own femaleness and the role of women. Moving to the more permissive atmosphere of San Francisco, they obtained a friendly divorce but remained very close as a family. When Gerald was stricken by AIDS, their love withstood this ultimate trial, providing support throughout his illness and the strength to face death with serenity. First serial to Woman's Day; to be a CBS-TV movie.
Copyright 1986 Reed Business Information, Inc.

About the Author

Carol Lynn Pearson has been a professional writer, speaker, and performer for many years. In addition to her volumes of poetry, she is well known for such books as her autobiography, Goodbye, I Love You, which tells the story of her marriage to a homosexual man, their divorce and ongoing friendship, and her caring for him as he died of AIDS; Consider the Butterfly, which tells forty-four of her personal stories of meaningful coincidence and was a finalist in the inspiration/spiritual category of the 2002 Independent Publishers Book Awards; and a series of inspirational books that began with The Lesson. Her five Christmas books include The Christmas Moment, published in 2005 by Cedar Fort, and the classic, A Stranger for Christmas. Carol Lynn has been a guest on such programs as The Oprah Winfrey Show and Good Morning, America and has been featured in People magazine. She has a master of arts in theater, is the mother of four grown children, and lives in Walnut Creek, California. You can visit her at

Product Details

  • File Size: 352 KB
  • Print Length: 227 pages
  • Publisher: Cedar Fort Inc. (May 23, 2008)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B001A5L9NG
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #129,143 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
25 of 25 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An honest account from "the other side of the closet" November 30, 1999
By A Customer
I first encountered "Goodbye, I Love You" when it was originally published. I was a married Mormon, and had trouble understanding how things could have happened the way she told them. Then, I found out my husband was gay, too. I re-read the book, and realized that she had told my story, only more compassionately than I could have. This book tells the other side of the story, the side of those whose lives are turned upside down by married gays who can no longer live a lie. If your life has been touched by this situation, this book will help you see that you are not alone. It is must reading for anyone who has known or been a married gay.
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20 of 22 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For gay/straight spouses, tells both sides of the story January 12, 2003
This is the first book I came across that truly captured what it is like to be gay and married and it was written by the straight spouse. Of course, that was years ago and now I have come out of the closet and have found my voice and know what is in my heart. But back then I was deep in the closet and this book was a godsend. Thank you, Carol Lynn, from the bottom of my heart. It was wonderful to see in words what before I had only felt and not understood. However, I wished I had read your thoughts and feelings about being a straight spouse more carefully. It would have given me so much insight into what was going on with my wife. It took me years to gain that insight on my own. But back then it was all I could do to handle my own pain.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ms. Pearson told her story well February 11, 1999
By A Customer
This is not a happy book, but a courageous attempt by the author to express her feelings of frustration, grief, anger, and finally acceptance. I would like to see other reviews of this book by a wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, or other relative of a gay person. I certainly felt her anguish as she struggled to understand what was happening. She told her story well.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Tragic, yet beautiful love story January 15, 2008
Pearson's memoir drew me in from the first page, as she relates her initial encounter with her future husband. "Gerald shone. That's the best way I can describe him. He shone."
Can't we all relate to that Kismet moment, the first meeting with "the one." When our pheromones come alive and propel us to pursue the OBJECT, the prize, our destiny.
The author's Mormon religion has instilled in her, early on, a desire for an "eternal marriage" much like her parents own union, which only ended at her mother's death.
Gerald, also a Mormon, and Carol Lynn, joked about Brigham Young's statement that "any young man over the age of twenty-one who is not married is a menace to the community."
After Gerald proposes, he decides to share a deep truth with Carol Lynn. Which is that he has had homsexual experiences, but has repented of his sins. He then promises her that she will be enough for him sexually after they are married.
She accepts Gerald's promise, as she'd always been taught that when tempted, boy's were weaker than girls. Their ensuing marriage brings challenges beyond the norm, as Gerald loses his battle against his homosexual cravings. Yet Carol Lynn's love for her husband never dies.
As an author and a human being, she shines. Her personal integrity, compassion, and capacity for unconditional love, awed me as a reader. I devoured this book in two sittings, fascinated by the true love shared between this husband and wife. She supported Gerald, even when he contracted AIDS, and brought him home to die with she and their children by his side till the end.
They both rose to bear witness to their highest selves, in spite of their horrific circumstances. This memoir is full of rare insights into the complexities of a romantic relationship, and to the human condition. It educates, entertains, and inspires. Kudos to Pearson's courage in sharing this extremely personal story. An awesome book by an outstanding writer.
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8 of 8 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent example of Christ-like love August 28, 2007
By Marie44
You might not think an account of a couple who divorces due to homosexuality could be a memorable love story, but this one really is. I read this book many years ago, and was so moved by it. Carol Lynn Pearson is a remarkable woman. She writes this book with such transparency of her emotions. The love she had for Gerald Pearson before, during, and after their marriage is so rare. They truly were soulmates, but couldn't be married and both be happy. I started out by reading other books by her, especially about women in traditional church. She is Mormon and I was, at the time, too. I grew up Catholic, and that church and the Mormon church both put limits on what women can do. In in the Catholic church women can't be priests, and in the Mormon church, they can't hold the priesthood. She writes about the bewilderment of that inequity, the same way she wrote about her bewilderment of her husband deciding to live as a gay man, and the struggles he had with that decision. I have felt similar struggles trying to find a place as a woman in traditional Christian churches. When I tried to talk with others about my feelings about feeling less as a woman in the church, I was told I shouldn't feel that way. The way she writes about people who feel disenfranchised by policies and religious tenets made me feel like FINALLY someone gets it. I actually called her on the phone many years ago to tell her to tell her how thankful I was that someone else understood about being a woman in a tradtionally male dominated church, and she was so generous and gracious on the phone to talk with me for a few minutes, so I could tell her thank you. The compassion she has for people who feel like outsiders, and how she treats those people, is what I think of as true Christ-like love. I highly recommmend this book for anyone who ever felt like they don't belong. She went through a very difficult time and showed unfailing love, just like Christ would do.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
4.0 out of 5 stars I read it years ago and needed to refresh my ...
I read it years ago and needed to refresh my memory. It seems more open than I remembered. Has their been a revision? Nevertheless, it met my needs then and even more so today.
Published 2 months ago by Diane Perkins
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Really great book!
Published 2 months ago by Niki Clonts
4.0 out of 5 stars Insightful - love one another should trump fear
I realize i have many misconceptions about what it is to really love those attracted to the same sex. After reading this book, I feel my capacity to love expand.
Published 2 months ago by Brian C Kerr
5.0 out of 5 stars Captivating
Wonderful read! A tear jerker for sure.
Published 6 months ago by Ben Royer
4.0 out of 5 stars much better woman than I am
I would give this five stars but it just hurt my heart too much. The author is honest, open and a much, much better woman than I am.
Published 7 months ago by Vickie Arnold
5.0 out of 5 stars Captures your heart
The story was told and written excellently. It captured my attention the entire time. The feelings were real. It was sad at parts, but amazing. Read more
Published 8 months ago by JH
5.0 out of 5 stars amazing. moving.
This book is incredibly moving. It paints the picture from the eyes of a believing mormon and allows you to enter into the gay lifestyle of her beloved husband. Outstanding.
Published 9 months ago by paul frandsen
5.0 out of 5 stars Thank You
Reading this book was like opening my eyes to new possibilities I had not considered. It was good to think through some of the choices one makes and even though the consequences... Read more
Published 10 months ago by joe schmidt
5.0 out of 5 stars Amazing Author
I met Carol Lynn Pearson recently and when she told me about her life experience I just had to read her book. Read more
Published 13 months ago by NancyA
5.0 out of 5 stars This book sticks with you
Because this is a non-fiction story, it hurt me more than anything I've ever read before.

Having the same struggle as Gerald, I can't help but understand and hate his... Read more
Published 14 months ago by Nhil
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