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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An honest account from "the other side of the closet"
I first encountered "Goodbye, I Love You" when it was originally published. I was a married Mormon, and had trouble understanding how things could have happened the way she told them. Then, I found out my husband was gay, too. I re-read the book, and realized that she had told my story, only more compassionately than I could have. This book tells the...
Published on November 30, 1999

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17 of 35 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Ms. Pearson tried to understand
The author certainly wrote from her perspective as the bruised wife of a gay man. She also tried to maintain the Mormon perspective that "exploring homosexuality" is a choice. I am a married gay Mormon male. I stuffed my homosexuality until I was so far in a deep, dark, self-destructive closet that the only means of survival was to come out. Although Ms...
Published on August 23, 1998


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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An honest account from "the other side of the closet", November 30, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Good-Bye, I Love You (Paperback)
I first encountered "Goodbye, I Love You" when it was originally published. I was a married Mormon, and had trouble understanding how things could have happened the way she told them. Then, I found out my husband was gay, too. I re-read the book, and realized that she had told my story, only more compassionately than I could have. This book tells the other side of the story, the side of those whose lives are turned upside down by married gays who can no longer live a lie. If your life has been touched by this situation, this book will help you see that you are not alone. It is must reading for anyone who has known or been a married gay.
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12 of 12 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Ms. Pearson told her story well, February 11, 1999
By A Customer
This review is from: Good-Bye, I Love You (Paperback)
This is not a happy book, but a courageous attempt by the author to express her feelings of frustration, grief, anger, and finally acceptance. I would like to see other reviews of this book by a wife, husband, mother, father, sister, brother, or other relative of a gay person. I certainly felt her anguish as she struggled to understand what was happening. She told her story well.
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19 of 21 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars For gay/straight spouses, tells both sides of the story, January 12, 2003
This review is from: Goodbye, I Love You (Hardcover)
This is the first book I came across that truly captured what it is like to be gay and married and it was written by the straight spouse. Of course, that was years ago and now I have come out of the closet and have found my voice and know what is in my heart. But back then I was deep in the closet and this book was a godsend. Thank you, Carol Lynn, from the bottom of my heart. It was wonderful to see in words what before I had only felt and not understood. However, I wished I had read your thoughts and feelings about being a straight spouse more carefully. It would have given me so much insight into what was going on with my wife. It took me years to gain that insight on my own. But back then it was all I could do to handle my own pain.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Tragic, yet beautiful love story, January 15, 2008
This review is from: Goodbye, I Love You (Paperback)
Pearson's memoir drew me in from the first page, as she relates her initial encounter with her future husband. "Gerald shone. That's the best way I can describe him. He shone."
Can't we all relate to that Kismet moment, the first meeting with "the one." When our pheromones come alive and propel us to pursue the OBJECT, the prize, our destiny.
The author's Mormon religion has instilled in her, early on, a desire for an "eternal marriage" much like her parents own union, which only ended at her mother's death.
Gerald, also a Mormon, and Carol Lynn, joked about Brigham Young's statement that "any young man over the age of twenty-one who is not married is a menace to the community."
After Gerald proposes, he decides to share a deep truth with Carol Lynn. Which is that he has had homsexual experiences, but has repented of his sins. He then promises her that she will be enough for him sexually after they are married.
She accepts Gerald's promise, as she'd always been taught that when tempted, boy's were weaker than girls. Their ensuing marriage brings challenges beyond the norm, as Gerald loses his battle against his homosexual cravings. Yet Carol Lynn's love for her husband never dies.
As an author and a human being, she shines. Her personal integrity, compassion, and capacity for unconditional love, awed me as a reader. I devoured this book in two sittings, fascinated by the true love shared between this husband and wife. She supported Gerald, even when he contracted AIDS, and brought him home to die with she and their children by his side till the end.
They both rose to bear witness to their highest selves, in spite of their horrific circumstances. This memoir is full of rare insights into the complexities of a romantic relationship, and to the human condition. It educates, entertains, and inspires. Kudos to Pearson's courage in sharing this extremely personal story. An awesome book by an outstanding writer.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars An excellent example of Christ-like love, August 28, 2007
This review is from: Goodbye, I Love You (Paperback)
You might not think an account of a couple who divorces due to homosexuality could be a memorable love story, but this one really is. I read this book many years ago, and was so moved by it. Carol Lynn Pearson is a remarkable woman. She writes this book with such transparency of her emotions. The love she had for Gerald Pearson before, during, and after their marriage is so rare. They truly were soulmates, but couldn't be married and both be happy. I started out by reading other books by her, especially about women in traditional church. She is Mormon and I was, at the time, too. I grew up Catholic, and that church and the Mormon church both put limits on what women can do. In in the Catholic church women can't be priests, and in the Mormon church, they can't hold the priesthood. She writes about the bewilderment of that inequity, the same way she wrote about her bewilderment of her husband deciding to live as a gay man, and the struggles he had with that decision. I have felt similar struggles trying to find a place as a woman in traditional Christian churches. When I tried to talk with others about my feelings about feeling less as a woman in the church, I was told I shouldn't feel that way. The way she writes about people who feel disenfranchised by policies and religious tenets made me feel like FINALLY someone gets it. I actually called her on the phone many years ago to tell her to tell her how thankful I was that someone else understood about being a woman in a tradtionally male dominated church, and she was so generous and gracious on the phone to talk with me for a few minutes, so I could tell her thank you. The compassion she has for people who feel like outsiders, and how she treats those people, is what I think of as true Christ-like love. I highly recommmend this book for anyone who ever felt like they don't belong. She went through a very difficult time and showed unfailing love, just like Christ would do.
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5 of 5 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I laughed, I cried, I have plenty to think about, November 2, 2007
This review is from: Goodbye, I Love You (Paperback)
I had heard of Carol Lynn Pearson's story, and I expected the story to be interesting, but I had no idea how much I would feel, and how many things I would have to think about (a lot, not just the reality of homosexuality, not just the many types and forms of love, but many many things.) I was completely unprepared to laugh, but I did, and I must say, the Pearson's were amazing people. Such strength, such energy, such a desire to be like Christ and do what is right. This story is incredible and incredibly written.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A Journey Steeped in Love", October 12, 2012
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There is amazing love and compassion in this true story written by Carol Lynn Pearson. She and her husband, Gerald, are close high school and college friends, both raised in the Mormon faith during the 60's and 70's. They pursue their higher education and careers and then it comes time for them to consider marriage. They openly discuss Gerald's homosexuality, which Gerald works hard to stay strong against and to live in accordance with his Mormon doctrine. Yet, after a few years, and having three children, Carol Lynn discovers that Gerald has been seen in a gay night club. The emotional upheaval wracks her brain. There are decision to be made. This real life story reminds me of the movie "Normal" staring Jessica Lange and Tom Wilkinson, who as her husband, Roy, seeks a sexual change after being devoted and married to each other for 25 years. When Roy faces his feminine side, for him, it is normal. Likewise, for Gerald, he cannot live a false life. In the end of this book, the reader discovers that once one loves another, love cannot be denied; that love in all forms is normal. This is one of the most marvelous stories of faith, devotion, and forever love that I have ever read. I'm so glad I chose this book to read.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A poignant and important story, November 15, 2012
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20 years ago when I met my future husband, and he told me that he used to be involved in the gay lifestyle, he insisted that I read this book before I decided whether or not to continue our relationship. Obviously I decided to continue seeing him. We have now been married for 19 years and our relationship is still going strong. It is not without its bumps, but it is a very good marriage. I recently reread this book, and I couldn't put it down. It is a very poignant story for anyone to read, but it is important for anyone to read who is considering marrying someone who is gay, especially if you are LDS (Mormon). You need to go into this very complicated relationship with your eyes wide open. This book helps you to do that. Though it is a very difficult type of marriage to have, it can be very rewarding as well. Don't assume that just because one of the partners is gay in the marriage, that the marriage will not be "real", or that it won't last. Every relationship is unique and no one can assume a certain outcome based on the outcome of others' relationships.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
4.0 out of 5 stars GrammieB, November 5, 2012
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If you have ever wondered what it would be like to have someone you dearly love admit to same gender attraction, this is the book to read. Carol Lynn Pearson treated her husband with love and dignity. He died in the arms of the wife he left for the life he needed to live. The story is a lesson for all of us about unconditional love and not judging those around us.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent Book, April 25, 2012
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Book Junkie "clubhouse9" (Salt Lake City, UT United States) - See all my reviews
This review is from: Goodbye, I Love You (Paperback)
This is a beautifully written story of unconditional love and forgiveness that will stay with you for days after you read the last page. It's one that I will keep in my personal library. I highly recommend it.
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Goodbye, I Love You
Goodbye, I Love You by Carol Lynn Pearson (Paperback - October 1, 2006)
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