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Goodbye to Shy: 85 Shybusters That Work! Paperback – July 12, 2006

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Product Details

  • Paperback: 272 pages
  • Publisher: McGraw-Hill; 1 edition (July 12, 2006)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0071456422
  • ISBN-13: 978-0071456425
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.8 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 13.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (38 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #160,195 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Many of Lowndes's potential readers may "shy" away from her relentlessly perky, exclamatory tone and use of terms like Shys (for shy folks) and Sures (for extroverts). Which is too bad, because much of her advice is sensible and based on desensitization techniques, or graduated exposure, therapists use in treating shyness and social phobia. The book is a mixture of confessional by a formerly shy author (How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You) and no-nonsense guide. Lowndes cites scientific findings, such as that shy people feel continually judged by others at public events, which they remember as more negative than they were. Lowndes advises writing down one's immediate impressions after a social event. "If you later remember anything negative..., go back and check your notes. If that embarrassing or disappointing moment isn't in your notes, forget it. It didn't happen." She also offers useful advice, such as how to tolerate holding eye contact with strangers. Chapter titles like "How to Handle a Past Bummer" seem meant to appeal to younger readers, but the tone clashes with Lowndes's sometimes dated personal stories. Her great eureka–"I'm not shy anymore" moment takes place in the Playboy Club, where she dons bunny ears. (Aug.)
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved.

About the Author

Leil Lowndes is a professional speaker and bestselling author of How to Talk to Anyone, How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You, and How to Be a People Magnet. Visit Leil at lowndes.com for more advice on how to become more successful in business, friendship, and love.

Customer Reviews

The book is also very readable.
A Reader from LA
Each ShyBuster I accomplosh makes me feel better and I am ready to move on to the next.
John Dreily
I have this in audio book format and listen to it while driving.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

265 of 272 people found the following review helpful By StarLight on March 26, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Honestly, I bought this book expecting something completely different. I like to read reviews before I purchase anything, especially books, and I felt confident buying this one. I honestly cannot believe that people think this is one of the best books or by any means, life-changing. I enjoy reading self-help books and I've read quite a few, and this is honestly one of the worst one's that I've read. I am not insulting Leil Lowndes with this review- I think her writing style makes it an easy read and she adds humor here and there. This particular book is 250 pages and it took me about 2 days to read, from start to finish. The problem with this book is the content. "85 Shybusters that work"... Uh no, not so much. Most of these are very common-sense ways to stop being shy (e.g. smile and listen to others). I will outline the book in this review and if you feel like you need to know more, you can buy it, but consider looking through amazon for other books on the topic as well.

- "Should I tell people I'm Shy?" - I'll save you reading 5 pgs... NO, don't tell people you're shy. Period.
- "How to battle the Blushing, Sweating, and other Shy Signs" - This section was the one I was looking forward most to reading about, and I was utterly disappointed at the content. Basically, Lowndes gives no actual imput on how to battle these shy signs. Rather, she says to "jokingly warn" people about these signs and to laugh about it. Ugh. Well I could have thought of that- Oh wait, I did; And it doesn't make me feel any better when giving a presentation and I look like a lobster.
- "Avoid Toxic People" - I don't think this deserves a chapter but it is an important concept.
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38 of 44 people found the following review helpful By Julia W. on June 23, 2009
Format: Paperback
I was recently laid off from work and in the spirit of "reinvention", decided to open up my own small business. As I began to develop my business plan, I realized my success as an entrepreneur will not be a result of what I know, but rather, of who I know. Analytical and introverted by nature, my comfort zone is working at my computer, and certainly not networking and socializing. And do I decided to spend some time developing my social skills, and went in search of some helpful reading.

When I came across "Goodbye to Shy", I was skeptical at first to say the least, expecting that a lifetime of shyness could not be "cured" through reading a self-help book. But through the candid wisdom of her writing, Liel Lowndes has quite literally changed my life forever. I began to realize that while some people ("Sures") seem to be naturally blessed with the confidence to interact with other human beings with ease, those of us who are not that fortunate can LEARN to adopt new habits. We can actually and mindfully develop new habits that will enrich our relationships with others and subsequently, enrich every aspect of our lives.

For example, as a mother of three, it comes quite naturally for me to turn my body completely toward my child tugging on my hem, bend down so that she can see me at eye level, and give her my complete and undivided attention. Liel explains that adults are not unlike children, and although I may feel uncomfortable, turning my body toward the person speaking to me, focusing my eyes upon them and giving them my undivided attention makes the other person feel at ease and attended to, which will leave a lasting impression.
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9 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Kate London on August 23, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have suffered with shyness for as long as I can remember. I have always worried about what other people think of me, and I know for a fact that I have allowed many wonderful opportunities pass me by because of my shyness. Please, if you want to turn things around, read this book. I have read so many books, and this one contained all of the answere and reassurance I have needed.
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14 of 17 people found the following review helpful By B. Ramos on September 11, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
The book felt like it was written at a 5th or 6th grade level, refers to people as "shy's" and "sure's" much to my annoyance. Plenty of the 85 tips are interrelated, impractical, or obvious. She expands on ideas with personal anecdotes, slowly introducing herself and how she because extroverted. I guess is supposed to be inspiring, but if she was able to make money as a model at some point, I doubt she lacked the approachability of more "normal" looking people. Her book can be distilled into only 2 or 3 core concepts, none of them felt new. I wouldn't recommend this book if you are able to order a coffee. Her work seems to be backed up by research supported in the superscripts, but it really does not add anything to the book other than a sense of "told ya so!". The section on dating is especially horrific, I cannot recommend this book.
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17 of 23 people found the following review helpful By pen name on January 14, 2007
Format: Paperback
Having bought some of the other books that help the shy person overcome their shyness this book is the best and most informative one I have read so far. This book provides 85 different steps for the shy person to overcome whatever is holding them back. For example, if you are like me always thinking about what to say next in a conversation, especially with the opposite sex, there is step in the book that will help you keep the conversation going instead of the dreaded ackward silences when you run out of conversational steam. The other books will just say to make a comment about your shared surrounding without telling you how or what to say. This book will give you a basis to keep the conversational flow going.

Even if you don't do all 85 steps there is bound to be a couple of steps that you can use and follow which is already better than before. Ever feel uncomfortable looking at the cosmetic clerks in the eye when you are walking through the cosmetic section, well, after this book I am more confident looking into their eyes instead of looking at the floor while walking past the attractive cosmetic clerks.
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More About the Author

Leil has devoted her professional life to helping people become more effective communicators in business, social, and romantic relationships.

The passion she brings to her writing and speaking on communication skills can be traced to childhood when she suffered almost debilitating shyness which lasted right through college. After being a teacher for six years and still feeling socially insecure, she decided to leave the teaching profession and work only in situations which put her in constant touch with a wide variety of individuals. Here is a short history of how she gained her insights and share them with the world.

After working with elementary school children, she decided to take the first step toward her goal by becoming an international flight attendant to feel at ease speaking with adults from all over the world. Still shy in front of crowds, however, tried acting to become confident on stage in. But, although she was very successful (even starring in a Broadway show,) she wasn't satisfied simply speaking from a playwright's script. To become comfortable addressing large audiences with her own "script," she became a cruise director on ships traveling around the world. That exhausting experience of dealing with people almost 24 hours a day, she said, would cure anyone's shyness!

Between trips, Leil worked as substitute host on New York's #1 radio talk show. Interviewing celebrities and political figures is how she became confident talking to anybody about anything.

After decades of communicating with all types and ages of people, Leil decided to write and speak to groups to share her knowledge with the public. Leil now conducts seminars for Fortune 500 companies and speaks at conventions, but her favorite type of communicating is still one-on-one talking with people.

She has written ten books, many of which have been translated into 26 languages. The best selling ones include: "How to Talk to Anyone," "How to Instantly Connect with Anyone," Good-bye to Shy," "How to Be a People Magnet," and "How to Make Anyone Fall in Love with You."

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