A Goomba's Guide to Life [Hardcover]

Steven R. Schirripa (Author), Charles Fleming (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 15, 2002

Attention would-be paesans: Can’t distinguish “gabagool” from “pasta fazool”? Not sure how to properly accessorize your track suit with gold chains? Does the phrase “go to the mattresses” make you sleepy? Now Steven R. Schirripa, The Sopranos’ own Bobby Bacala, exposes the inner mysteries of this unique Italian-American hybrid in A Goomba’s Guide to Life so that anyone can walk, talk, and live like a guy “from the neighborhood.”

Über-goomba Steve Schirripa shows how being a goomba made him what he is today, offering lessons learned on his own journey from Bensonhurst to Vegas, and to his current gig as Bobby Bacala on one of TV’s most popular shows. Along the way, he shares secrets that will help you get in touch with your own inner goomba. You’ll learn what music to enjoy (Sinatra, yes; Snoop Dogg, no), what movies to watch (Raging Bull, yes; Titanic, never), which sports to follow (baseball is good; golf and tennis, fuhgeddaboudit), and even tips on goomba etiquette. Ever wonder how a real goomba gets the best seat in the house? (Hint: It involves tipping, jewelry, and intimidation.) Schirripa even includes goomba do’s and don’ts (never, ever criticize a goomba’s mother or her gravy; always wear more jewelry than you think you need).

With knockout photographs of Schirripa and his compares, and insider information on how to think goomba, speak goomba, cook and eat goomba, and even how to behave at goomba weddings and funerals, A Goomba’s Guide to Life will show any wiseguy wannabe how to sing like a Soprano.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Schirripa may be best known for playing a goomba on TV (he's Bobby Bacala, Uncle Junior's dimwitted lackey, on The Sopranos), but he has some first-hand experience to draw from as well. Schirripa grew up in the heavily Italian Bensonhurst section of Brooklyn, where his bookie father was arrested 32 times; he himself worked at Vegas casinos for years before stumbling into acting. But too much of this tongue-in-cheek how-to ignores Schirripa's potentially compelling life story in favor of shopworn riffs on Sinatra and prosciutto. ("Goomba culture is pretty simple stuff. All those cliches? They're true," Schirripa writes-which might make one wonder why a guide such as his is necessary.) Even with almost 30 pages devoted to recipes, the book feels padded, and Schirripa and Fleming are surprisingly stingy with Sopranos anecdotes. They strive for lowbrow authenticity-the word "ain't" shows up eight times in the first three pages, and one sentence begins, "Just like I been saying"-but end up sounding sloppy. Sopranos junkies may enjoy the occasional behind-the-scenes tidbit, and there are a few genuinely amusing moments. But the self-conscious style and overreliance on lists ("You might be a goomba if..." and the like) just might consign the book to "fuhgeddaboudit" status, despite its obvious marketing potential in Sopranos-themed displays.
Copyright 2002 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Review

“Finally, a Goomba guide for everyone that is one, knows one, or wants to be one. Steve Schirripa is a great storyteller with a touching and humorous story to tell.” -- James Gandolfini

“Before reading this book, who was I? Just another punk kid on the street trying to stay out of jail. Now I’m a rock star, an award-winning actor, and a DJ on my own radio show. Thank you, Stevie—I owe it all to you!” -- Stevie Van Zandt

“Put a gold chain on your neck, sit down on a plastic-covered couch, and then read what I think is the funniest book there is about Italians. Now have a cannoli and shut up.” -- Ray Romano

“Steve Schirripa is the best Italian writer since Maya Angelou and I’m not just saying that because he has
a gun to my head . . . okay, yes I am.” -- Chris Rock

“From one fat guy to another—and from a real goy to a real goomba—this book is hilarious!” -- Louie Anderson

“I laughed until I ate.” --Kevin James

“This book is a heartfelt celebration of Italian-American culture from a guy who really knows his macaroni. Congratulations, Steve. Salute!” -- Michael Imperioli

“Steve Schirripa’s A Goomba’s Guide to Life absolutely killed me, stuffed my body in the trunk of a Monte Carlo, and then dumped me in the river.” -- Bill Maher

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Hardcover: 240 pages
• Publisher: Clarkson Potter; 1st edition (October 15, 2002)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1400046394
• ISBN-13: 978-1400046393
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.7 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 15 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (21 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,211,325 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Funnier than Dante, and With Recipes, too., October 5, 2003

By 

louienapoli "louieb" (Chicago) - See all my reviews

This review is from: A Goomba's Guide to Life (Paperback)

I'm a literary snob, and when I saw this book on the bookstore counter, I cringed. Schirripa is a terrific actor on The Sopranos, but I immediately figured this was another attempt by a level B celeb to make some extra cash with garbage masquerading as a book. But I opened it and started reading in the check out line and started laughing so hard and loud other customers started rubbernecking. The kind of laughs that bring tears to your eyes and pain to your stomach. This guy is truly funny, and all of his humor is based on truth. The book is also written with tremendous warmth, and could be subtitled "Pasta Fazool for the Goomba Soul." It's actually inspiring. And--how's this for a plus--it contains some fantastic and easy recipes. I feel like I got more than my money's worth from this book--laughs, inspiration, and some great Italian meals.

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars It all makes sense now., May 7, 2005

By 

Brent A. Anthonisen "Johnny Sideburns" (Alpharetta, GA, USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: A Goomba's Guide to Life (Hardcover)

One of the best friends I ever had was a guy from "the neighborhood" (actually Long Island) who was so obviously Italian-American (and a fair slice Colombian too, if the truth be telt) that he seemed to be a parody of his own lifestyle.

Little did I know, he wasn't a self-parody...he was simply A WORLD-CLASS GOOMBA.

I had grown up understanding this to be an insult...and under some circumstances, it is...but the truth is that those guys who live The Good Life as gangsters on TV and the movies aren't just the embodiment of some preppy screenwriter's fantasy; they are in fact living arguably the best possible life there is.

This book tells you, in some ways more certain than others, just how to live that same life, even if you've no more any Italian blood within your veins than Elvis Presley (solidly honorary Goomba status) or Genghis Khan.

It's a fascinating introduction to anyone who's ever been captivated by the lifestyle portrayed onscreen by uber-actors Robert DeNiro, Al Pacino, Paul Sorvino, and yes, James Gandolphini and the cast of "The Sopranos", yet was understandably hesitant about embracing the lifestyle most often showcased in their most widely-regarded films or TV shows.

In other words, you don't have to be a gangster to be a big shot. You DO have to THINK you're a big shot whether or not you actually ARE before anyone else inside the know will believe that you are or not.

My father once told me that ever since the Jazz Age, young black males have been the one group that most young white males most sought to emulate. I don't dispute that, but reading this book should certainly give most impressionable young men cause to pause; the Goomba understands life in a fashion that most anyone else will never completely grasp without serious intervention.

Ladies and gentlemen of all ethnicities, I offer "A Goomba's Guide To Life" as the best non-Biblical way to find your way through existance since the Von Hoffman Brothers' "Big Damn Book of Sheer Manliness". You never quite understand completely if the intentions are pure or parodoxic, but they are regardless entertaining; sterotypes are not embraced, but they are certainly not cast aside without all due reverance. A great read, makes me wish even more that I was from "the neighborhood".

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A good laugh, December 10, 2002

By A Customer

This review is from: A Goomba's Guide to Life (Hardcover)

This is a very funny book. It accurately portrays what it's like being an Italian guy from New York. And let me tell you from experience, it's exactly as fun & funny as Schirripa describes. Another good book about an Italian guy from New York is "No One's Even Bleeding". (Also highly recommended.)