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Goose: The Outrageous Life and Times of a Football Guy [Kindle Edition]

Tony Siragusa
4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (70 customer reviews)

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Sold by: Random House LLC

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Book Description

A hugely popular and beloved football commentator and former player with the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens, Tony Siragusa offers his uncensored insider's look at the NFL and his hilarious take on life off the gridiron.
The New York Times called him a "modern-day John Madden." Tony Soprano called him "Frankie Cortese." His teammates called him "Goose." Whatever you call him, Tony Siragusa is larger than life in every possible sense, from his personality to his physique to his colorful career, hilarious stories, and bombastic take on life.
         Goose is the book that Siragusa's fans have been clamoring for, to hear more from the Super Bowl champ-turned-commentator-turned-actor, who has brought his unmistakable style and intense love for life to every endeavor. In a memoir that is guaranteed to make you laugh, cheer, shake your head, laugh some more, and then think seriously, Siragusa offers stories, life lessons, and perspective gained from his unbelievable collection of experiences. He also offers a no-holds-barred look at the NFL, with locker room stories and surprising glimpses at the way things are done when the cameras (or the refs) aren't looking. His narratives range from hilarious anecdotes about his New Jersey childhood and wild college days, to behind-the-scenes glimpses at some of the greatest players in football history, to Goose's opinions about the current state of the NFL. And he shares them all with his signature love for life and uncensored insight.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

ANTHONY "TONY" SIRAGUSA, nicknamed "Goose," is a former National Football League defensive tackle who spent twelve seasons with the Indianapolis Colts and the Baltimore Ravens, with whom he won the Super Bowl in 2000. He currently works as an NFL analyst for NFL games broadcast on the Fox network.
DON YAEGER is a seven-time New York Times Best-selling author and longtime associate editor for Sports Illustrated. He has authored or coauthored 22 books, including projects with Walter Payton, John Wooden, Tug McGraw, Rex Ryan, and Michael Oher.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.


Draft Day

With apologies to Dickens, the third weekend in April 1990 was the best of times . . . and it was the worst of times. One of the most improbable stories in the ­NFL—­my ­story—­goes back to April 22–23, 1990, the weekend of the NFL draft that year: two days of hell for me and my family. My beautiful mother, Rosemarie, invited the whole world to our little house in Kenilworth, New Jersey, to watch the draft.

And watch. And watch. And watch.

All twelve rounds of it. Minute after minute, my mom, my brothers Pete and Elio, and my ­then-­girlfriend and ­now-­wife Kathy (she’s been with me since high school) were watching as player after player got picked. Twelve rounds and 331 players, including seven of my teammates from the University of Pittsburgh who were selected. But not me. These days, the NFL has only seven rounds for the draft, and it’s a struggle to make the league if you’re undrafted. These days you might have two guys on the ­fifty-­three-­man roster each year who were undrafted. So think about it: back when I was coming out of Pitt, the league was taking like five rounds of guys who today would have a hard time getting ­drafted—­and I still ­didn’t get taken.

This was like being the last kid picked on the playground. You know when you divide up teams and that last guy is there and the best guy says, “Whatever, we’ll take him”? ­That’s what my NFL draft weekend was like for me. I had been here before. Growing up, I was good in football, wrestling, and baseball. I was a good ­all-­around athlete. Good, but not great. I ­wasn’t like The Natural when I was seven years old, like some of these guys. I was always bigger and stronger than most kids, so people thought I was older than I actually was. People would say, “Oh, you must be twelve.” I’m like, “No, I’m nine.” I also used to hang out with older kids because of my older brother Pete. And I also acted older. I ­didn’t back down from anybody, even when I got my ass kicked. I’d tell off the older kids, maybe flip them off. They’d chase me down, they’d beat me up, and then I’d tell them off again. I was a real ­smart-­ass.

Anyway, when I was twelve, I was playing Little League baseball and they picked the ­all-­star team. It came down to the last cut, and I ­didn’t make it. I was the first alternate or whatever they call it. So I walked home the whole way from the field along the railroad tracks that went by my house, crying my eyes out. I’m pissed, I’m embarrassed, I’m hurt, the whole thing. It was like that spark that we all get in our gut when we think nobody wants us. This burning desire goes off in you. At least it did with me. This was the first kind of defining moment for me. I got home, and we had a little pool in the back, so I washed my face off and then went inside. I never told my mom what happened. Then the coaches called up a few days later and told me, “Oh, this kid got hurt, you’re in, we need you.” I thought to myself, These SOBs ­didn’t pick me, okay, I’ll show them. I knew the other kids weren’t as good as me, so I had to go prove it.

Now, part of my problem up to then was that I was always thinking too much, being too careful. I was actually terrified to swing the bat. I don’t ­really know why. I ­wasn’t scared of the ball. I think I was just scared that I ­wouldn’t be perfect. I ­didn’t want to disappoint anyone; I thought, Let me just get a walk and I’ll be fine. My mother used to yell from the stands all the time, “Swing the bat!” Well, it turns out ­that’s probably why I ­didn’t get picked in the first place, and now I had to show these guys I was actually good enough, that I was actually better than everybody else. So in the second game we played, we had the bases loaded with two outs in the bottom of the last inning. The kid who was supposed to bat was having a horrible time. He had some problem, and he was like crying or something, and his mother was coming around going, “Honey, is something wrong? Are you okay, sweetie?” The problem was, he was kind of a ­mama’s boy, a pussy. Anyway, the coach looked at me and said, “Goose, you’re up next.” I was like, Holy crap, this is great. I get the helmet, I’m looking for my ­bat—­I’m all jacked up. Before, I was a little scared to swing for whatever reason. Now, as I go up to the plate, I’m deciding I’ll swing as hard as I can at the first pitch: I ’m going to kill this ball. I get up there, the pitcher winds up, and I just remember how slow he seemed to bring the ball. He threw, and I think I probably closed my eyes and swung.

It’s like this awesome dream. There was this ­two-­story building just past the ­right-­field fence. It’s still there if you drive through town. When we were kids, that building was mythic. My brother’s friends used to talk about how nobody could ever hit the ball over that building. It was kind of like in that movie The ­Sandlot—­how they talk about what it’s like to hit the ball into the junkyard in center field. Anyway, as the ball was coming, the moment was like something from a movie for me. ­Really, if the pitcher had thrown the ball over the backstop, I would have swung anyway, ­that’s how determined I was. I swung as hard as I could, and bam! I hit the ball. The ball cleared the building for a grand slam: the ultimate scenario. I remember coming around the bases and everybody was jacked up and excited. All the way around, I’m thinking, These assholes ­didn’t want to pick me. I can remember all the players and the coaches standing there at home plate as I turned third base and headed home. And ­that’s when I knew I could do this. It’s funny to think sometimes, what would have happened if I struck out? Would that one moment have completely changed me? Right then and there, that became the theme for my life. I know I can do this.

Ten years later, it’s all happening again as I wait for a chance to play in the NFL. To add a nice kick in the teeth, add the misery of practically every person in my family and every person in town stopping by at one time or another to look in on ­what’s going on. After a while, people don’t even ask, “Did he get drafted yet?” They come in, give that little pathetic smile like they don’t know what to say, and kind of move on. My mother is making macaroni the whole weekend and putting on a brave face, saying, “Don’t worry about him, he’s going to be okay.”

I even get a call from Jimmy Johnson in the middle of the whole thing. Jimmy, who I work with at FOX now, was coaching at Dallas, but I knew him from way before that. Jimmy was coaching at the University of Miami when I was in high school, and he recruited me. ­That’s a whole ’nother story I’ll get into later. Anyway, he calls me and says, “Hey, ­what’s going ­on?”—­like I somehow have some answer for why I’m not getting drafted. I answer, “Nothing, ­what’s going on with you?” What am I supposed to say?

Here’s the funny part of that call. The reason Jimmy has called me is that he thinks I called him. As the draft is going on, some of my friends, including this guy Crazy Mike Carisino, start calling the Dallas Cowboys. The only thing is, they call claiming to be me and leave messages saying, “Jimmy, this is Tony Siragusa, you need to draft me!” Crazy Mike comes over, and I tell him that Johnson called. He tells me what he and the guys did. I’m like, what are you doing to me? He says back to me, “You should have told him to draft you.”

All the while, my older brother Pete and my younger brother Elio are getting more and more pissed off, but they’re not saying a thing. Kathy is there too, but she’s not letting it bother her. She’s just there to support me, comfort me. Talk about somebody who’s devoted. I know plenty of women from being in the league who ­wouldn’t have stuck around for that. She reminds me of that a lot. She says, “I was with you when you had nothing.”

Me, of course I’m pissed too, but I’m taking it all in, internalizing the whole thing. It’s like I’m just in a fog. Just the year before, I had lost my dad to a heart attack. And that was after spending a whole year away from football because of a knee injury. Then I went back to college and got jerked around by my coaches. Now, after all of that crap, one pick after another goes by, one round after another goes by, and I’m thinking, They took that freaking guy, are you kidding me? I get so fed up, I go to play golf at one point. Me, Kathy, and my brothers go to Weequahic Park Golf Course in Newark, New Jersey, and hit the ball around. I think I shot the best round of my life, like a 77 or something. I’m a wreck out there on the course, but I’m sinking putt after putt after putt. It was unreal.

Another time we go out in front of the house and play some basketball on the rim my dad put up on one of the trees way back in the day. We like to call the basketball court our “office,” where we go to work out any problems. Siragusa family basketball isn’t exactly artistic stuff, you have to understand. Me and my brothers were all ­really good high school wrestlers. I won a state title, Elio finished second, and Pete was actually probably the best of the three of us. Our game is no blood, no foul. We have a little tradition that we play when things are a little tense. This is a good day ...

Product Details

  • File Size: 3114 KB
  • Print Length: 272 pages
  • Publisher: Crown Archetype (September 4, 2012)
  • Sold by: Random House LLC
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B007MDK4OU
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Not Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #431,168 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews
8 of 9 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars I LAUGHED OUT LOUD ..... July 30, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
...and learned so much about Tony Siragusa and football. What makes a good book? I think the fact that I received the book, sat down and started to read it, couldn't put it down, finished it the same day, laughed out loud, said to the wife, "listen to this one" over and over, qualifies this book for five stars. Meet Tony Siragusa, I sure won't say it is a biography but it was, it was more like sitting down with the Goose and a few friends and listening to stories and getting to know the guy. Not much in the way of a slow moving bio, in this one it is fun or interesting or meaningful anecdote after anecdote. Siragusa relates to us stories, opinions and facts all mixed together. Lot of great stories about coaches. A wonderful read, and it didn't hurt having the very fine writer Don Yeager help. I didn't want it to end. If you are a football fan, NFL fan, a fan of Man Cave or the Sopranos, a Tony "Goose" Siragusa fan, or just looking for an interesting non-fiction, get this one as soon as possible. HIGHLY RECOMMENDED

On a personal note....I met Tony Siragusa a few years ago, and he would know me from Adam, but it was at the Super Bowl, NFL Experience for kids on Miami Beach, and I was in charge of a large group of students from a near by county. NFL players were on the beach to help the kids in fun football stations. Mr. Siragusa was soo good to the kids!! He was the best of the best. A shining example of what football should be.

Get the book...maybe he will do another!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
"Goose: The Outrageous Life and Times of a Football Guy", is the autobiography of former NFL player (and current co-host of "Man Caves" and NFL sideline reporter) Tony "The Goose" Siragusa, with some co-author help by Don Yaeger. As I'm a Steeler fan, Goose was one of the Raven players I liked to "hate" (but only in a football fan type of way; I'd have loved him if he had instead played for the Steelers). This book is an interesting, entertaining story of his life, from boyhood until now.

The strongest parts of his book are about his relationships with his friends and family. A friend was someone who you would do anything for ... and who would do anything for you. During the good times and the hard times, his family and support network was there with him. And it's interesting to learn that Goose, like many elite athletes, was primarily motivated by people telling him he couldn't so something.

In the book, he comes across as a bit of a wisecracking, genial bully (he notes for example that he couldn't tell you how many kids he stuffed into lockers), and that in order to help make ends meet, he wasn't shy about selling things that "fell off of the back of a truck". However, this is counterbalanced by the essential goodness of his character.

For a book about football, there are surprisingly few stories from football games ... most of his anecdotes are about teammates and coaches. And if you've followed him as a sideline reporter or on his TV show "Man Caves", you know that he isn't shy about expressing an opinion, and that's pretty much true here in the book and about said teammates and coaches.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars Love ya Goose, but you wear me out. October 16, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
I've been a Tony Siragusa fan since he played for my beloved Indianapolis Colts. In Indianapolis, he gave us something to laugh about at a time when if you were a Colts fan, things looked pretty bleak. I loved his radio show and chuckled at his on and off the field antics. I was looking forward to reading this book, expecting lots of laughs and some true behind the scenes information about the Colts and the NFL. Unfortunately, this did not deliver much of either.

This was a tough read to plow through not only because of the sometimes awkward conversational writing style, but also because of the repetitious content. There are a lot of stories of large men behaving badly, so many in fact that I quickly became tired of reading about cheating, drinking, stealing, and talking smack. Tony states here that he could have done the Jersey Shore and made it a lot better, and I really don't doubt it. I don't like Jersey Shore, and while I still like this big hearted stiff from Jersey, this chronicle of his bad behaviour wore me out. As a football fan and a Colts fan, I wanted much more football info and a lot less of the random party stories. If you're looking for stories of drunken NFL owners and badly behaving players, this is the book for you. If you were looking for more actual football information, then as much as I hate to say it, you better pass on this one.

The editor and Goose's partner in writing must bear a lot of responsibility here. I wish someone would have been able to take Goose's stories and powerful personality and tame them a bit so they would fit into a book that was a lot more organized and readable.
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4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
3.0 out of 5 stars Frat boy tales September 5, 2012
Format:Hardcover|Vine Customer Review of Free Product (What's this?)
Tony "Goose" Siragusa is a 6-foot-4, 340-pound defensive lineman who played in the NFL for 12 years, including Super Bowl XXXV with the Baltimore Ravens. He is also a sideline commentator for Fox Sports.

Siragusa, a self-described "loudmouth jackass," prides himself on being outrageous, blunt and a "man's man." This book could have been titled "frat boy tales." If you're interested in reading about Goose mooning a NFL team executive, being constipated before a game or going hunting with an AK-47, you might find this book amusing. But, if you're hoping to learn more about football or gain some insights into the game, you won't have much success.

Goose is from a close-knit, blue-collar, Italian family in New Jersey. Undrafted coming out college (Pitt) in 1990, he spent most of his career trying to prove people wrong. Teamwork, loyalty and trust are important to him and they are themes that run through his book. Much of what Goose writes about can be summed up this way: There are a lot of things that piss him off; he pisses off a lot of people; and a lot of things suck.

A couple of his strongest football-related opinions include: firing Indianapolis Colts coach Ted Marchiboda and hiring Lindy Infante was one of the worst decisions he had ever seen in the NFL and that defensive coach Rex Ryan should have succeeded Brian Billick as coach of the Baltimore Ravens.

About Super Bowl XXXV, he says, "My whole life was transformed by that game; it literally created and gave me the springboard to the life I have now."

In addition to his football sideline duties, Siragusa has hosted DIY's "Man Cave," acted in the Sopranos and a couple movies.

Goose says, "Football gave me the opportunity to make the transition to the real world."

Although "Goose" is lighter on football than I would have preferred, if you are a Tony Siragusa fan, it probably doesn't matter.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
1.0 out of 5 stars Buy a book from this guy? No way.
Heard this guy interviewed on Howard Stern, and it sounded like this would be a great book. I was actually going to go home and order the book. Read more
Published 4 months ago by Clinton J. Wolf
4.0 out of 5 stars Great fun quick read
Pay no attention to the negative reviews, which I suspect are posted by but-hurt windbags, more interested in showing off gaudy prose, and making judgments, than enjoying a... Read more
Published 4 months ago by tyler snow
5.0 out of 5 stars Hysterical
This book had me in tears laughing so hard. Can't wait for the movie!
Published 9 months ago by Mike Reynolds
5.0 out of 5 stars Goose: The Outrageous Life and Times of a Football Guy
I knew this guy was a little on the crazy side by watching his side line commentary on Sunday football games. Read more
Published 14 months ago by D M R
4.0 out of 5 stars Great fun
I enjoyed this book a lot. Tony Siragusa writes like he appears on TV, he is a loud and sometimes obnoxious guy who is out to have fun. Read more
Published 15 months ago by Peter
4.0 out of 5 stars One very wild and crazy guy Go Goose!
This is the best insiders view of the NFL Players inside the locker room and off the field. Read it ..its fun
Published 17 months ago by joseph siragusa
5.0 out of 5 stars Hilarious
the goose is loose. this is a great and entertaining read. very well put together. if you like listening to him this will be one of your favorites.
Published 19 months ago by trustory
5.0 out of 5 stars Yes - outrageous but honest
A Jersey Boy makes it big in the pros and stays true to oneself. No punches pulled in this autobiography. You will laugh and cry with the Goose
Published 23 months ago by Anthony A. Spadaro
3.0 out of 5 stars Sadly, not for me
This review is on the book, "Goose:The Outrageous Life and Times of a Football Guy" by Tony Siragusa. Read more
Published on April 17, 2013 by D. Vance
5.0 out of 5 stars Goose!
Tony Siragusa was a beloved and noncontroversial player in the NFL for 12 seasons, first with the Colts and later with the Ravens. Read more
Published on April 12, 2013 by JWH
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