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49 of 55 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
Got Forrest?, June 3, 2009
Customer review from the Amazon Vine™ Program (What's this?)
It goes without saying that I could kick Forrest Griffin's butt; I merely choose not to. And the reason I choose no to is because I'm terrified of him and hide whenever he comes into the same time zone. Or at least I do now, after reading GOT FIGHT?, his rambling, comedic book on what it takes to be successful in the almost-no-holds-barred world of mixed martial arts. Obviously, if you're reading this review, you know Griffin as the guy whose kill-or-be-killed performance on the inaugural season of THE ULTIMATE FIGHTER reality show helped turn the UFC from a disreputable, back-alley promotion into the world-dominating sports juggernaut it is today. Since then, he went on to coach a season of that now-hit show, and win-and-lose the UFC's light heavyweight title. He's currently slated to fight Anderson "The Spider" Silva, who is almost universally regarded as the No. 1 pound-for-pound fighter in MMA. No small order, but not long ago Griffin destroyed Shogun Rua, who many considered to be the best fighter in the world at 205 pounds: so I s'pose it's anybody's guess. Anyway: what distinguishes Griffin from a lot of guys competing in mixed martial arts are two things:
1) He's well-and-truly crazy. I don't mean fake-crazy, which rap music has popularized, and which has led to a large number of people getting badly beaten up in bars when they tried to go "fake crazy" on people who could actually fight; I mean he's really nuts. Anybody who can hold a lit cigarette lighter to his flesh for fourteen seconds without flinching simply because he's in the mood ain't right in the braincase, but he does make for good television.
2) He likes to fight. I spent many years in "classic" martial arts, and while I was mastering nonsense like crescent kicks and the C-step middle punch, I rolled with a lot of guys who modeled themselves after Johnny from THE KARATE KID -- you know, the rich kids with bolt-on abs who didn't want their hair mussed while they fought, much less lose a tooth or bust a lip; but I also encountered a fairly number of people who would honestly, truly, rather get in a street fight than make love to a supermodel. Griffin is one of these people. If there wasn't a UFC, he'd fight on toughman shows where the loser gets dragged to the curb and laid out with the trash -- great anecdote from the book, by the way!
GOT FIGHT? then, is a reflection of Griffin's personality. It's one of the filthiest books I've ever read -- seriously, this guy has an obsession with bodily functions, bad words and disgusting anecdotes that needs serious analysis, I mean it could make Andrew Dice Clay blush, but it's also one of the funniest. I've seen standup comedians who didn't make me laugh half as much as Griffin, who is probably the most self-depreciating guy who can kick you through a cinderblock wall you're ever likely to meet. It's also highly entertaining. Take, for example, the last chapter of the book, where he's demonstrating through photos various fight techniques. One of them is how to repel a dog attack, and Forrest being Forrest, the dog in the picture is a poodle about the size of his head...and the poodle is talking in captions. At least a fifth of the book is also dedicated to completely irrelevant, MAXIM-like topics such as how to get into a Vegas nightclub, where you rate on the Forrest Griffin Scale of Manliness, or how best to score sleazy chicks at your local watering hole. Humor aside, Griffin has a knack for telling a story, whether it's how he got beaten up once a week for the first 15 years of his life or what tactics he used to dethrone Quinton "Rampage" Jackson in the Octogon. One of my personal favorite moments is when he scathingly compares "martial artists" to "fighters" (something I found hilarious even though I was essentially the one being made fun of.) But GOT FIGHT? is neither biography, nor comedy album, nor how-to book, though it has all those aspects; more than anything, Griffin is trying to explain what it means to BE a professional MMA fighter, when the cameras aren't on and Dana White is not in the building. Without trying to intimidate the reader, he wants him to understand just what is involved with making MMA your profession -- not your hobby, mind you, but your actual profession. How to train, make weight, eat, choose a manager, escape crazy women groupies -- he explains all of it, but he also stresses the harships involved, which involve a lot of physical pain and very, very little money.
My only beef with GOT FIGHT? is that it is lacking a conclusion, which is not a mistake the co-author, martial arts expert Erich Krauss, should have made. After riveting the reader with his anecdotes and crazy advice, the book trails off into the usual martial arts pictures of how to do this or that move -- granted, with funny captions, but still, a lame way to close an otherwise terrific book. Hopefully, the publisher will coax Forrest away from his Newcastle Brown Ale and chicken wings long enough to write one. In the mean time, however, I'd recommend this book to anyone who wants to understand what happens -- and doesn't happen -- between the cauliflowered ears of one of MMA's most popular fighters.
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7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
I'm normal but I still loved this book!, August 6, 2009
"Remember, we are all going to die and very little of what we do in this world matters."
-Forrest Griffin (page 108)
Yes, he's a monstrous hybrid of Lloyd Christmas, Rocky Balboa, and Charles Manson. Yes, he is the second coming of Tyler Durden. Yes, he should be under professional supervision. In spite of all this, however, Forrest Griffin is a compelling figure that no one should dismiss or ignore. He is wiser than his years and smarter than he looks. He is the Yoda of the UFC, only not as handsome as that particular green Jedi. Usually I like my authors to have opposable thumbs. In this case, however, I made an exception, and I'm glad I did.
You have no idea how jealous I am of this man. I am the author of two real books. To achieve this I had to turn off my television, interview numerous experts around the world, tunnel through mountains of articles and scientific studies, and stare at a blank computer screen for countless hours until words came to me. Meanwhile, Forrest Griffin rolls around on the floor in homo-erotic fashion with staph-scabies-herpes-infested gym rats (page 33-35), lets people hit him in the face for thrills, and then writes a kick-ass book about it all. "Got Fight?" is probably getting better shelf placement than my books in stores right now. Why? This is not fair. I don't hit people, I am a fully evolved human, and, unlike him, still have both of my testicles. The only thing I can guess is that his brain-damaged insights about sports, women, and life connect more easily with the general public (For more on this, see "Decline and Fall of the Roman Empire," by Edward Gibbon, and the film "Idiocracy"). Perhaps, another problem for me is that my books lack such practical advice such as how to correctly execute the "Asian Dart" against an unsuspecting opponent. (page 186)
Personal pettiness aside, I found myself liking Forest Griffin more and more as I progressed through this weird and disturbing book. He has a lot to say about a lot of stuff. And I'm glad I listened.
Things I like about Forrest Griffin:
1. Based on sound medical science, he doesn't worry about blood loss until he passes the two-pint mark (page 86);
2. Ultra-manly though he may be, Forrest admires and respects nerds who never give up (page 15);
3. His "compartmentalization philosophy" (page 87) is brilliant and useful for anyone in any career;
4. He is deceptively intelligent, which is the best kind of smarts. Forrest claims to have an IQ of 87 (page 71) but most of the people I encounter in daily life seem nowhere near as bright as he is;
5. He is neither hemophobic nor homophobic (page 85);
6. He is able to dispense valuable advice without going all "Tony Robbins" on you;
7. Martin Luther King Jr. and Clint Eastwood are his idols. (page 68).
Things that concern me about Forrest Griffin:
1. He own guns;
2. He is willing to tell anything and everything about his personal life in this book, yet he never explains why he only has one testicle. Imagine how disturbing that story must be in order for the editor to leave it out;
3. He watched the movie "Goodwill Hunting" approximately 1,000 times (page 125);
4. As a boy, Forrest hit his scoutmaster in the face with a can of Dr. Pepper (page 110);
5. One of his legs is shorter than the other so he walks like a "70s pimp with a severe case of polio" (page 109);
Throughout the book there are numerous "Dick in a Box" sidebars. These are charming stories about Forrest by his best friends and add much to the book. To my surprise, most of Griffin's friends seem to be well-adjusted people. I should also praise the work of co-author Erich Krauss. After all, he must have toiled long and hard to help translate Griffin's madness into such accessible and enjoyable prose.
I highly recommend "Got Fight?". I believe a wide variety of people will enjoy it if they give it a try. It's certainly not only for troglodyte fight fans who see no world beyond the octagon. Normal people will enjoy it as well. Forrest is likable, funny, and positive. This shines through on every page.
Yes, some readers might be offended. The book is crude, rude and disgusting. But get over it. Look around you, life is crude, rude and disgusting. Furthermore, Forrest is genuine, something rare in contemporary athlete-celebrities. He deserves respect for that alone.
I am a long-time UFC fan. Unlike the critics, I get that it's about strategy, athleticism, skill, and heart, rather than a mindless bloodbath for ghouls. I'm hooked on the sport. That said, I'm about as far away from a barroom brawling, street fighting type of guy one can get. (Gandhi is my hero. Really.) I'm a writer, not a fighter. Nonetheless, I loved every page of this book. It was entertaining and surprisingly inspirational. Hell, if Forrest can be a champion in his world; then why can't I be one in my world?
This is not some shallow book about the glorification of violence, the seduction of women, and the importance of loin girth. Well, actually, it is all that, but it's so much more, as well. Consistently hovering above all the funny stories, gross anecdotes, and MMA insider info is an invaluable message, a universal theme of meaningful wisdom. "Got Fight?" preaches something noble and brilliant. It's about taking what you got, mixing it with what you love, and taking a shot at greatness. A simple equation, yes. But how many people ever embrace it?
--Guy P. Harrison, author of
Race and Reality: What Everyone Should Know About Our Biological Diversity
and
50 Reasons People Give for Believing in a God
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
"Got Fight?" makes for a fantastic read., August 6, 2009
This is one of the wittiest and 'laugh out loud' funny books that I have ever read. While it may not be a "how-to" guide for MMA, it certainly provides useful information peppered in amongst hysterical stories and anecdotes. Griffin's self-deprecating humor and unique writing style make for an extremely entertaining read that will you have you laughing until your sides hurt. I would recommend "Got Fight?" not only to MMA fans, but to anyone who has a sense of humor.
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