The Government Manual for New Pirates [Paperback]

Matthew David Brozik (Author), Jacob Sager Weinstein (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 1, 2007

Matthew David Brozik and Jacob Sager Weinstein continue to spoof those über-utilitarian survival and how-to guides by offering this pithy pirating primer for budding buccaneers. This treasure trove of Pirate Code imparts wisdom on eye patches and tricorner hats, talking the talk, walking the walk (down the plank, that is), appropriate ship names, dueling, avoiding cursed treasure, and much more.

--This text refers to the Kindle Edition edition.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Matthew David Brozik lives on Long Island, N.Y. He has studied writing with Joyce Carol Oates, Russell Banks, Leslie Epstein, and Steven Wright and has written for a number of literary publications.

Jacob Sager Weinstein is a Writers' Guild of America Award winner for HBO's Emmy-nominated Dennis Miller Live and a regular contributor to the Onion. His work has appeared in McSweeney's and the North American Review. He lives in London, England. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Product Details

• Paperback: 144 pages
• Publisher: Andrews McMeel Publishing (April 1, 2007)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0740767909
• ISBN-13: 978-0740767906
• Product Dimensions: 6.8 x 5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces
• Average Customer Review: 4.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #897,627 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

11 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Rainbow Pony Cove, June 1, 2007

By 

R. Howell "boriskhan" (Medford, OR) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Government Manual for New Pirates (Paperback)

In the third outing of the Government Manual to New (Superheroes, Wizards, Pirates) we learn how to be... well a new pirate. You'll learn many things like how to dress, amount of rum you need, picking out a crew, rum, selecting a ship, parrots, the proper conjugating of verbs, rum, naming your ship, where to find treasure, where to hang out as a pirate, and where to find rum. Do not be distracted by movies involving undead monkeys or bursting into random songs. Pirates sing chanteys not songs. Of particular use are the charts on verb conjugating, how to make up your own swearing phrase, pirate to Yiddish dictionary, and hot spots in Tortuga to find your rum. You also get useful tips on what you should do if you are tagged with the black spot from a pirate, the use of parley, and of course rum filled wenchery fun.

Great addition to the Gov't Manual series by these two. I'm eagerly awaiting more. Remember, pirates are found at places like Cockroach Island, not Rainbow Pony Cove. And beware of Cuthbert St Cadbury.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Arrrr-run don't walk and buy this book!, May 22, 2007

By 

Stephen R. Kutner "Rob" (New York, NY) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Government Manual for New Pirates (Paperback)

Hilarious up until the final plank-walk. I don't know how much rum these guys consumed, but this was a crazy, rollicking, and surprisingly informative tour through every nook and cranny of piratiana, real and imagined.

7 of 8 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Marrrrrvelous!, May 27, 2007

By 

Rachel SC Friedman - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: The Government Manual for New Pirates (Paperback)

Have you, too, "always had a lub/hate relationship with land"? Looking for a reliable listing of the best shops and restaurants on Tortuga, or the best and worst names for your ship? Wondering just how necessary the beard and eye patch are, really? If you're looking for an authentic guide to pirates, don't waste your money on loud, garish, plotless pirate movies that leave you feeling dizzy and unfulfilled; TGMNP is a *far*, *far*, farrrrrr better use of your time and money! It is cleverly written in easy-to-read Piratese, guffaw-inducing until the last page, and more importantly, chock full 'o helpful advice. For example, it served as inspiration for my new pirate a cappella group, Treble on the High C's... I also particularly enjoyed the Pirate/Yiddish dictionary and Pirate Cursing cheatsheet - A billion blisterin' barnacles on a blasted blue bialy to anyone who doesn't have the good sense to buy this book!