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Product Description
The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures.
The Government Manual for New Wizards is a hilarious, mock-official handbook for wannabe witches and warlocks who need advice on recognizing the onset of wizardolescence, understanding the laws of magic (and the magic of laws), choosing (or being chosen by) the right magical items and enchanted artifacts, dealing with the dead (grateful and otherwise), successfully hosting magical exhibitions, and the proper care and feeding of magical creatures.
Wands, charms, cloaks of invisibility, shoes of stealth (or "sneakers"), and other otherworldly accoutrements-it's all here, discussed tongue-in-cheek but with the utmost Governmental authority.
This entertaining guide offers such sage advice as:
" A demon is just as afraid of you as you are of it-provided, of course, that you are eight feet tall, composed of living fire, and capable of destroying a small village with a single angry thought. Otherwise, it doesn't find you frightening at all.
" When selecting educational programs, do not be tempted by solicitations from wizardry parchment mills. A so-called degree from such a place is not worth the scroll on which it appears to be inscribed. The ink will disappear not long after the school itself does.
The Government Manual for New Wizards is a sidesplitting spoof of all things wizard-y.
About the Author
Jacob Sager Weinstein lives in a magical land across the waves, populated by strange creatures such as "bobbies" and "solicitors." His work has appeared in the Onion. He is a former staff writer for Dennis Miller Live and a current staff wielder for the forces of good.
Matthew David Brozik sports a scar on his forehead that is the result of an unenchanted childhood accident involving no black magic whatsoever. His short fiction has appeared in such publications as the Sycamore Review, Spout magazine, Sidewalks, Barbaric Yawp, and the Dogwood Journal. He lives in New York.
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Inside This Book
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First Sentence:
Every young wizard goes through a trying but rewarding stage of life known as wizardolescence. Read the first page Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Wizards Prison New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Surprise Me!
Every young wizard goes through a trying but rewarding stage of life known as wizardolescence. Read the first page Key Phrases - Capitalized Phrases (CAPs): (learn more)
Wizards Prison New!
Concordance | Text Stats Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Surprise Me!
Citations (learn more)
This book cites 1
book:
- The Government Manual for New Superheroes by Matthew David Brozik in Front Matter, and Back Matter
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