Grace-Based Parenting [Paperback]

Tim Kimmel (Author), Max Lucado (Foreword)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 17, 2005

Parents in our post-modern world tend to be committed to but anxious about their child-rearing responsibilities. They've tried the countless parenting books on the market, but many of these are strident, fear-based books that loving parents instinctively reject, while still searching for direction.

Now Dr. Tim Kimmel, founder of Family Matters ministries, offers a refreshing new look at parenting. Rejecting rigid rules and checklists that don't work, Dr. Kimmel recommends a parenting style that mirrors God's love, reflects His forgiveness, and displaces fear as a motivator for behavior. As we embrace the grace God offers, we begin to give it-creating a solid foundation for growing morally strong and spiritually motivated children.

Releasing in an affordable trade paper edition, this revolutionary book presents a whole new way to nurture a healthy family.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Kimmel, author and founder of Family Matters ministries, likens many Christian parents' attempts at rearing children to putting together a puzzle without first studying the completed picture located on the box's cover. Kimmel states that families of faith tend toward extremes, either being overly permissive or overly legalistic. This is not a particularly new concept, but Kimmel pulls it off with interesting storytelling and sound biblical parallels. He says Christians frequently believe that the battle for a child's heart and soul is fought on the outside-with rigid rules and boundaries-when in fact just the opposite is true. He underscores the importance of communicating the unconditional love that Christ offers and affirming this timeless message of grace to one's family. Despite the numerous examples the author cites where parents fail, this text is overwhelmingly upbeat with hope and possibility: Parents who strive to live a life of faith characterized by daily trust in God will pass on this message of possibility and potential to their offspring. Kimmel asserts that this "radical" mode of parenting will meet the three essential needs in kids' lives: for security, significance and strength. He assures parents that these needs can be met with grace-laced love, purpose and hope. Kimmel's gentle heart is evident in every chapter, and his obvious passion will spur frustrated parents to keep at the task with new resolve and optimism.
Copyright © Reed Business Information, a division of Reed Elsevier Inc. All rights reserved. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

Review

"God gives us His grace - and each of us needs it. We also need to extend that gift to our children. Tim's many years of experience in grace-based parenting - both with his own family and teaching others – will help you give hope to you children."
- Dennis Rainey, President of FamilyLife


"Tim Kimmel writes with humor, hope, and an honesty that allows us all to let down our guard and allow God to meet us in our fears and regrets."
- Dan B. Allender Ph.D.,
--This text refers to the Audio CD edition.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 272 pages
• Publisher: Thomas Nelson (May 17, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0849905486
• ISBN-13: 978-0849905483
• Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.6 x 8.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.5 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (73 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #3,941 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Dr. Tim Kimmel is one of America's top advocates speaking for the family. He is the Executive Director of Family Matters, whose goal is to build great relationships by educating, equipping and encouraging families for every age and stage of life. Tim conducts conferences across the country on the unique pressures that confront today's families. His conferences include: Home Improvement: Building a Great Marriage, Basic Training For A Few Good Men, Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right, and Parenting 101. In addition to conducting Family Matters' conferences and keynote speaking, Tim and his wife, Darcy, are speakers for FamilyLife Ministry's Weekend To Remember conference.

Not only is Tim a well-known speaker, he has authored many books including: Little House on the Freeway (featured in the Billy Graham crusades), Gold Medallion Winner Grace Based Parenting, Raising Kids for True Greatness, 50 Ways to Really Love Your Kids, Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right, Why Christian Kids Rebel, The High Cost of High Control, and Basic Training For A Few Good Men. He has also developed several video studies including The Hurried Family, Basic Training For A Few Good Men, Raising Kids Who Turn Out Right, and Grandparenthood: More Than Rocking Chairs.

Tim has been a featured guest on radio and television programs such as Dayside on FOX News channel, Dr. James Dobson's 'Focus on the Family', 'The 700 Club', Moody Broadcasting's 'Midday Connection', and 'Family Life Today.' Tim also hosted his own nationally syndicated talk show for five years called 'Tim Kimmel Live'.

Personal Background
One of six children, Tim learned early in life the importance of family. He married Darcy, his high school sweetheart, in 1972. They honeymooned at Dallas Theological Seminary where Tim earned his Masters of Theology, then moved to Phoenix to become a youth pastor until founding Family Matters in 1982. Tim graduated from Western Seminary in 1995 with a Doctorate of Ministry and is continually learning and applying his knowledge to help families. Tim and Darcy are the parents of four children, have a wonderful son-in-law, and have two grandchildren. They reside with their family in Scottsdale, Arizona.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

107 of 110 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Excellent book that I would highly recommend December 31, 2004

By Jennifer Schrank

Format:Hardcover

I just finished reading this book and I would highly recommend it. It is directed toward Christian parents but has principles that non-Christian parents can use. My favorite suggestion from his book,which he used in his own family, is the "What's Your Beef?" night.(pages 206-208) To promote respectful candidness in his family, this night allowed his children an opportunity to tell their parents anything that either of them had said or done to hurt them. "The qualification was that they couldn't bring up positions we had taken because of our moral standards(which they might have disagreed with) or consequences that we might have had to bring their way because of things they had done wrong...The key rule for Darcy and me when they shared these things from their hearts was that we were not permitted to defend ourselves...I might have been able to justify my words and actions from my perspective of the facts, but it would have only done harm. The point was, we had hurt them somehow, regardless of the facts."

He also gives an overall matrix that is very useful (what your child's three driving inner needs are and the four basic things you need to do to maintain a grace based environment)and uses many examples from his own family and others.

He also communicates grace for you as a parent, since we all fall short. This book gave me hope and a great start to create a grace based home without compromising moral standards I want to uphold. He does a great job of balancing the two since often we as parents go to either extreme of legalism or anything goes.

63 of 66 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars A necessary tool to being a balanced parent! October 1, 2004

By A mother of four

Format:Hardcover|Amazon Verified Purchase

Tim Kimmel has done a good job of explaining how many conventional parenting styles fall apart later in a child's life & ultimately lead children to rebellion. It was hard for me to read many of his observations at first, as I myself was parenting with a heavy hand. I sort of felt chastised by him for the first half of the book! I guess I deserved it. I'm glad I hung in there though as he showed me how to lighten up by treating my children with the same grace that God extended to me through Christ. I truly believe I will be a better parent for having read this book! The results have already started to unfold with my three kids. I have been able to let go of some of the small issues I was making such a big deal over & focus more on important issues that matter. Since I rebelled hard as a teen, I was worried about how to handle that later in life when my kids are teens. I feel I am better equipped to deal with those unavoidable years of rebellion as my kids (hopefully) find their own way into the arms of God. I suppose before reading this I just thought I could push them into God's arms & maybe they'd stay there. Thanks Tim, you've lighted my path via your use of God's Word & your experience. I highly recommend this book to parents, grandparents, counselors and teachers.

44 of 49 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Helps you sort out what's really important in parenting December 16, 2004

By Gontroppo VINE™ VOICE

Format:Hardcover

I think every parent would benefit from reading Kimmel's book. One of the best aspects is his discussion of his own failures with his own children, but also his description of how he recovered from some of his mistakes.

This would be a good book for heavy disciplinarians to read, but I wonder if they would be able to take on board what he says.

A good aspect of the book is his discussion of how often parents base their discipline of their children on ensuring that other parents approve of them! How true!

There are many amusing and provocative anecdotes, which will make you think.

I also recommend H Norman Wright's "How to Talk So your Kids will Listen."