Customer Reviews

The Grand Illusion: Love, Lies, and My Life with Styx

5 star:		(13)
4 star:		(7)
3 star:		(4)
2 star:		(1)
1 star:		(2)

 

 

GRAND ILLUSION is more than a verismo aria from the ongoing grand opera production known as Styx. Co founder /bass player with one of the most celebrated rock bands of the Seventies Chuck Panozzo has written not only a frank history of that band, its internal struggles and successes, but more important a personal and frank chronicle of his life, first as a closeted gay man in the Sixties and Seventies, his battle against the AIDS virus, and finally his emergence as an eloquent activist for AIDS and gay rights. The book covers Panozzo's growing up closeted gay in Sixties Chicago, his emergence as an international rock and roll star with one of the biggest rock groups of all time, his battle with AIDS, the death of his brother Styx drummer John Panozzo, his eventual coming out to family, friends, band members, and his recognition and personal acceptance of being a gay man and spokesman for AIDS and other gay rights issues. He pulls no punches in this chronicle. And spares no one including himself in his search for Self Truths. For those readers looking for band gossip--it's here but not sensationalized. But for those readers looking for a story spanning almost 60 years of a musician's journey to be recognized as a gay human being--GRAND ILLUSION is an eye opening, heartfelt memoir. -Bob Garcia (former director of Artists Relations, A&M Records, 1969-1996)

I have known Chuck Panozzo, bass player and co founder of one of the more successful rock groups of the Seventies--Styx--since that band first signed with my former record company, A&M Records back in the early Seventies. As Artists Relations director I worked with Styx in its early years through its triumphs as a mega platinum band years later after that signing. I have followed the band's ups and downs, internal turmoil through its various personnel changes right up to the present time. But through all of my 30 year history with Chicago's finest--Panozzo has been a constant, and a friend close up and from a distance. There are episodes in this book that are amazingly frank, emotional and disturbing, but always true to Panozzo's quest for recognition not simply as a musician, but more importantly as a gay man living with AIDS, and a Human Being. There is little that is sensationalistic here. It is all set down rather matter of factly but with honesty. If there is criticism--it is more inner directed by the author as he moves from the Sixties into the Nineties as a closeted musician who perhaps lacerated himself too much--holding back from his fellow band members and even his family--his gayness. It finally comes down to being a book about beating the Odds--both personal and professional. And Chuck has won. No author could be harder on himself than Chuck in this memoir. As a person who is still questing I hope that there are no more Illusions-only peace. Bob Garcia (former director of A&M Artists Relations, 1969-1996).

I have been looking forward to Chuck Panozzo's autobiography for a long time. It's the first time any Styx member has told his own story in his own words, and as such it's a great read. Taking the title from Styx' breakthrough and best-known album, 'The Grand Illusion' tells a compelling and heartfelt coming of age story about a young boy growing up [...] and in the closet in the conservative, predominately Catholic environment of 1950s middle-class Chicago. Panozzo was aware of his feelings of being "different" from an early age, he writes, and struggled through his adolescence and most of his adult life to reconcile his desire to live openly and without shame, and the guilt bestowed upon him about his sexuality because of his Catholic upbringing.

Panozzo's views on the Church are among the highlights of the book. Recalling his days at Catholic school he writes, " . . . we were taught by nuns. These supposedly Mary-like women would hit us with rulers and even punch us with their fists. You had to wonder, did Mary really beat the hell out of Jesus like this?" Ironically it was also a nun who would give Panozzo, his twin brother John and their neighborhood friend Dennis DeYoung perhaps the best advice they ever got: to switch from playing standards in their little three-piece combo, to playing rock and roll. Thus, the band that would become Styx was born.

'The Grand Illusion' focuses on Panozzo's gradual development in coming to grips with his sexuality, even as Styx became, over the course of more than a decade of struggle, one of the most popular rock roups in the world. Panozzo remained in the closet the entire time, terrified that in the macho rock culture of the 1970s, his secret could threaten the career that he had worked so hard to establish. In 1991 Panozzo was diagnosed as HIV positive, and even then he hid his secret from the band and the world until the late Nineties, when he was diagosed with full-blown AIDS. Panozzo writes with harrowing effectiveness about the ravages of the disease on his mind and body, and when he finally recovers enough to return to Styx part-time, and decides to come out to the world and become a spokesman for the Human Rights Campaign, it makes you want to stand up and cheer.

Perhaps the other strongest part of the narrative deals with Panozzo's twin brother John, the original drummer for Styx who passed away from the ravages of chronic alcoholism in 1996. Chuck writes with brutal honesty about his brother's struggles in the wake of Styx' breakup in the early Eighties, when he began a tailspin into depression and alcohol. His account of John in the last few years of his life brings to mind the late great Keith Moon; a sometimes funny, sometimes troubled, sometimes tragic character who struggled to fight his demons through his sense of humor and alcohol, and ultimately destroyed himself. It's a disturbing portrayal that's hard to shake.

The reason I gave this book four stars instead of five is because I think most people reading it are probably interested in it because of Styx, and as such they are probably expecting lots of juicy details about the career of Styx. As the title says, this book is about Chuck Panozzo's life AND Styx, with Styx listed last, and that's exactly what you get. Styx is just one element among many in Panozzo's life story, and there is little in the way of new insight into the other members of Styx (except for his brother John), the music of Styx and how it was written and recorded, or the interpersonal struggles that happened behind the scenes. The other band members are barely even characters, existing in this book only to the extent that they bounced off of Chuck Panozzo. You get no real sense of who any of the other members of Styx are as people. But I don't mean that as disparagement, just an observation for those who want this to be a gossipy book about Styx. It isn't, for the most part, despite a few wry observations on Chuck's part.

All in all, 'The Grand Illusion' is a very heartfelt and insightful book, and well worth reading. I highly recommend it.

Sterling Whitaker

Author, The Grand Delusion: The Unauthorized True Story of Styx

The Grand Illusion takes the reader on a journey that starts in Chicago's south side in the 1960's. Chuck Panozzo tells his life story honestly about growing up, being a member of the rock band Styx, his struggle with being a homosexual, and his battle with HIV and AIDS. The book is an educational experience for hetrosexuals, and a wake-up call for homosexuals. For those readers wanting a lot of details about the inner workings of Styx, they're not here. This is a personal story about Chuck and his life. Styx is discussed, but much like anyone's job is discussed in any other autobiography. There are a few interesting facts about the band, and some resentment or anger displayed against cofounder Dennis DeYoung, but that's all you get.

The real story is about Chuck's struggles with depression, and the secret of being gay in an era that was much less tolerant of homosexuality than today. The Grand Illusion reveals Chuck Panozzo completely.

There's enough Styx "stuff" to keep the casual fan interested, but this is much more the story of how a gay man survived being in a huge rock band. This is very well written, and almost feels like he is sitting there telling you this himself. He's honest and doesn't try to sugar coat anything, including the most painful moments. His insight on what it's like to hide your true self from the world is inspiring for anyone, gay or straight, who isn't comfortable in his or her own skin.

Anyone who has struggled with the role of religion in their life, particularly issues with the Catholic Church, will find themselves identifying with Chuck's struggles. And anyone dealing with an addict will recognize themselves and their loved ones in Chuck's ultimately unsuccessful attempts to be caretaker for his brother, John.

Chuck also deals with the far-too-common issue of people with HIV living in denial. The fact that he has made it back literally from the brink of death is a testament to his resiliency, as well as the efforts of doctors & medical researchers.

I found this to be an ultimately uplifting story of a man finally coming of age and finding his voice in the world.

I've read the book over a couple of times. I was very moved by it. It's a wonderful story about Chuck and his struggle to "find himself". I was also at once happy and sad to read the stories about John. It is always sad and angering and frustrating when someone is in a downward spiral... and though you've given it your best efforts, there is nothing to do but sit helplessly and watch. And this book does give probably the best (if not ONLY) account of what happened to Chuck and John in those years that Styx was dormant.

I have to admit there was a small part of me that wanted to hear about his side of this drama known as Styx. However, I was about 2 chapters into the book when I realized that was not going to happen. The dirt just wasn't going to be there... and I was okay with that... and I actually cursed myself for limiting this book to a dirty tell-all.

It deserves so much better then that.

I was actually was pleasantly surprised at how little he talked about the band once they took off.

Although the title says: Chuck Panozzo. Love, Lies and my life with Styx. This is really about Chuck AND John Panozzo. That, for me, was the surprise twist in this book. And it was a welcomed one!

My only "flaw" with this book is that it's really a very brief "capture" of his life. There were some parts that I wish he'd taken the time and gone into more detail on. But considering that some people write autobiographies that are really boaring and take decades to read, I think "Hound Dog" did it right!!

Being a 45-year-old heterosexual male who has been married for 22 years, I found "The Grand Illusion: Love, Lies and My Life With Styx," by Chuck Panozzo with Michele Skettino, a writer from New York City, to be really intriguing and interesting. Not just from a Rock N' Roll history point of view, this book reveals the secret life of one of the founding members of the mega-hit Rock band Styx from the late 70's and early 80's.

Fortunately, Styx is still recording and playing concert dates as of late 2007 and they have been around almost 40 years now. Growing up in Memphis, Tenn., I saw Styx in concert during "The Grand Illusion" tour in downtown Memphis in 1977 and the "Pieces of Eight" and "Cornerstone" tours in 1978 and 1979 at The Mid-South Coliseum with the original members, Panozzo, his brother, John, Dennis DeYoung, Tommy Shaw and James Young (JY). They were an incredible performance band with an excellent sound and lights playing such hit songs as "Miss American," "Lady," and "Crystal Ball," just to name a few. I was surprised to read later in the book that DeYoung who was a founding member sued the band because the others made decisions about the band's future without his input. Panozzo does not mention how the lawsuit turns out.

Although, I am not into the "Gay thing," I found Panozzo's book to be written with sincere honesty and integrity. Living in Southcentral Kentucky for the last 20 years, Gays still tend to live in the shadows just like in most parts of the South especially in small towns. Panozzo tells of being with diagnosed with HIV/AIDS and starting treatment, suffering with side effects from taking 23 pills a day. Then he writes about his coming out in the open and getting involved on a national level in Gay activism.

I enjoyed reading about how Panozzo, who played bass in the band, and his brother, John Panozzo, who played drums, who by the way both achieved college degrees, grew up in a south side of Chicago in a large Italian Catholic family. He writes about his dad, mother and sister as well as his large extended family who would get together at family gatherings and play music. Panozzo also talks about a favorite uncle who played a major roles in the Panozzo brothers choice of heading in the direction of a music career.

Panozzo also writes about attending Catholic Schools with mean nuns and at one time-attended seminary at the age of 15 for a year. But as we all know, that didn't work out. I converted to being a Catholic in 1990 and one of the things that concerns me about Panozzo's book, is that he says that when he dies he wants to have a Catholic funeral and burial. However, the Catholic Church still does not accept homosexuality according to Catholic teaching, at least not openly. However, there are rumors and rumblings that there are priests across America in Catholic faith communities who are Gay. But it's not for me to judge or decide about Panozzo's funeral arrangements.

One of the saddest parts of the book is when Panozzo writes about his brother who struggled with alcoholism and eventually dies of the disease. I feel by reading Panozzo's book that Chuck is a very caring individual and feels deeply for his brother, his family and friends as well as his domestic partner, Tim. It evens seems he likes his fans too. I highly recommend this book especially if your Styx fan and if you're like me, it will help you understand some of struggles that a Gay person has deal with in our Modern society....relationships, HIV/AIDS and the discrimination of homosexuals that still exist today among many other things.

In the mid-1960s, Chuck Panozzo and his twin brother John formed a small band. Joined by neighborhood pal Dennis DeYoung, the seeds were planted for what would eventually become one of the greatest rock bands in history: Styx. However, Chuck was also facing his own personal demons during this time that, over the course of the next several decades, threatened to consume him. Those demons were homosexuality and AIDS. In the course of this moving autobiography, Chuck describes his life as a gay man performing with a rock and roll supergroup while trying to keep his identity a secret.

Chuck and his twin brother John grew up in the Italian-American section of Chicago known as Roseland. Both boys were talented musicians; John on drums and Chuck on rhythm and bass guitar. They were soon joined by Dennis DeYoung on accordion. The boys soon began playing local clubs, weddings, and other events. As the years passed, James Young and eventually Tommy Shaw joined the group. The group was called Styx and, during the late 70s and early 80s, ran off an unprecedented string of four consecutive triple platinum albums. Despite their musical success, the Pannozos were dealing with their own inner secrets; John with acute alcoholism and Chuck with his sexual identity.

As the years passed, John ultimately lost his battle with alcohol, passing away in 1996. Meanwhile, Chuck was diagnosed with HIV which eventually lead to full-blown AIDS. Despite the diagnosis, Chuck managed to keep his secret hidden from everyone, including his band mates. Although he had had several fleeting relationships with other men, Chuck had never had a real relationship, instead preferring to hide behind his music. During this same time, Styx went through changes of its own. The band broke up in 1984 due to philosophical differences between Dennis and Tommy. Chuck went into a state of deep depression due to lack of work.

However, the band re-formed in 1990, minus Tommy Shaw. A relatively successful tour accompanied the release of the Edge of the Century album. But, once again, the band dissolved. Chuck slid deeper into his own shell as well. In 1995, the band re-formed once again, this time with Tommy Shaw. Another tour was planned, but Tommy, Dennis, and JY didn't want John to come along due to his heavy drinking. Chuck was left to break the news to him. The band went on another tour the following year, and a studio album was planned. The album once again brought out the differences between Tommy, JY, and Dennis. This lead to the band replacing Dennis with Lawrence Gowan.

Meanwhile, Chuck had still kept his homosexuality a secret. He was receiving treatment for his HIV and was getting healthier. Chuck came out on July 28, 2001. Today, Chuck lives in a committed relationship in Miami and still tours with the re-vamped Styx line-up.

I've been a huge fan of Styx since I was in high school, and I was pleasantly surprised to find this book. I read it in two settings. I was interested to read a little about the history of the band, but I was also moved by Chuck's story. Just reading about Chuck's struggles and mental fortitude makes it easy to know what kind of person he really is. Chuck is a caring, hard-working individual who takes nothing for granted. His story is very inspirational and motivational.

I give this book my highest recommendation; Styx fans and fans of uplifting biographies will surely enjoy it.

As a huge Styx fan, I adored this book. It's much more a story about Chuck and his personal feelings than about the band, but extremely fascinating nonetheless. Chuck has a way of being very subtle about things, in a very charming way. For instance, he doesn't say bad things about Dennis, per se. He just .... lets you know that things haven't gone well there. And his adoration for Tommy Shaw is obvious, as he respects him as a musician and as a friend. You get a very clear sense of how Chuck thinks, and why he made the choices he did.

While it is refreshing to see someone so willing to take responsibility for his choices, I think Chuck was a tad too harsh with himself for not coming out sooner. The truth is, he did the band a great service by keeping quiet. It's not just a possibility that being gay would have hurt the band, it's a certainty. Only a few years after the height of Styx' popularity, Billy Squier's career was ruined by the mere PERCEPTION he was gay, based on the ill-advised "Rock Me Tonight" video. (Whether he is gay or straight isn't known or even the issue, the perception was there, based on one stupid video. A lot of his fans deserted him overnight.) So if Chuck had come out sooner, he would have ruined the careers of several people in an instant.

It is sad that such conditions existed, and maybe still exist to some degree, but that is the way of it in the macho rock world. Chuck has done amazing things, and this book is a wonderful resource for anyone who wrestles with such secrets. He tells his story in a straightforward, open, and humorous manner. Great, great book.

Chuck Panozzo has written a startlingly fine book -- fascinating, cool, funny, sad, eye-opening, and, finally, inspirational. What more can you ask? The story of the formation of one of America's mega-groups is enough to draw any reader in -- whether a STYX fan or not. But the behind-the-music description of Chuck's life as a closeted [...] man in a not-too-accepting rock world is the heart of the book. You can feel his pain as he hides his secret life while others tap into the rock world's perks. You will never forget Chuck's story; I know I won't.

I have been a fan of Styx for years. I have read other books about the band and picked this one up mostly because of my interest in the band. It was not what I expected- in a good way! Chuck is open about his life in a way few people are with close friends, let alone in a book. He tells about the band, for sure, but it is more about his life and his coming to terms with being a gay rocker at a time when coming out could ruin a career. It is at times poignant and tender. I came away from the book have a lot of respect for this man. As a straight man, it gave me understanding I never had.