Customer Reviews

The Graves

5 star:		(2)
4 star:		(3)
3 star:		(1)
2 star:		(5)
1 star:		(9)

 

 

To say this is a horrible movie would be too kind. No plot. Bad female lead "acting". Waste of Tony Todd and Bill Moseley. Pathetic editing. Worthless photography. "Production" value is nowhere. "Special Effects?" I love how the girl hacks Bill too death yet not a drop of blood gets on her. I love how these girls are in the Arizona heat and nowhere during the film do they perspire or even look like they were sweating.! There is a book on Amazon called, "Your Screenplay sucks!", Brian Pulido really needs to read it. And having that many "extras". Seriously? You want us all to see how much worthless "talent" it took to make this piece of garbage? Brian went to "film " school. He should've taken a writing or art class so he at least could've found out before that he can't write, direct or produce anything of value for movie watchers. The ONLY thing I can say this heap of a "movie" has any value for is that any professors in film schools should let their students see this as what "NOT" too do ,as far as film making goes. A student should be warned prior to viewing but also encouraged to see this is how you, "write", "produce", "direct", Edit" a truly, truly Worthless film. Brian Pulido needs to get a different career. Immediately!

The Graves is one of those movies that decided it's already a success before it was written, produced, or filmed. It has the air of shameless promotion about it, like when the Graves sisters (gorgeous Clare Grant as Megan and cute younger sister Abby played by Jillian Murray) fawn over comic books and then lean over the counter in low-cut shirts. Nobody's looking at the comic books for long.

If you're wondering what the heck is going on - and it will take you awhile if you're not a fan of Brian Pulido - this is the author's first film. He's actually the creator of such comic books as Evil Ernie and Lady Death. Which explains the cleavage, but little else.

Hotter sister Megan is moving on to a big career in New York City and the girls are out for one last fling before they are separated by distance and success. So after lounging around comic book shops in tight clothes, they visit a tourist trap at the abandoned Skull City Mine. There's nothing believable about these two: not their relationship, hobbies, or acting.

The sisters stumble across a cult dedicated to what seems like a fundamentalist cult, complete with hand-waving Reverend Abraham Stockton (Tony Todd). Todd is at a loss as how to emulate a fire-and-brimstone preacher - he comes off awkwardly stilted even in his "divinely inspired" moments. Of course, the entire cult he leads is actually following some demonic force. I think. It's hard to tell.

There are some interesting special effects. Every time someone dies, there's an awful racket of screams and wails. There's really no explanation for this (the souls are all going to hell, I guess), and not much of a reaction from the characters. You begin to wonder if they can hear what the audience is hearing...

Because what we hear is pretty bad. Pulido is simply not a competent director. The camera lingers on the girls limping and on villains stomping along. Sympathetic murderers, claiming that "they take no pleasure" in their kills, are drowned out by the score, or by the sound of the wind, or by the girls talking off screen. Pulido seems to have written The Graves script like a comic book, and he fills the audio with off-screen dialogue by the girls. Just in case it's not clear: THERE ARE NO THOUGHT BUBBLES IN MOVIES. Including thought bubbles might have helped a lot, actually.

The list of inanity goes on and on. The girls get possessed by some kind of smelly stench that makes them violent. They act out this violence by gnashing their teeth at each other like kids pretending to be dogs. Eventually, the girls are captured to be sacrificed to whatever is giving off that awful smell. Since no monster ever shows up, we can only assume it's the movie itself that stinks.

By the end of the movie, the Graves sisters have the temerity to dub themselves "monster killers." You get the impression Pulido had big plans for this to be his very own Buffy series, maybe even a comic book spinoff. But there's no monster here. The scariest thing about this cynical comic book marketing mess is that it was made at all.

Totally preposterous movie with a couple of hilarious scenes. Tony Todd shimmys and shakes in an over the top performance as the fanatical reverend--a Jamie Foxx/Cuba Gooding impersonation..a real hoot. Equally hilarious is the scene where the bound sisters hiss and claw at each other after smelling the demon! This movie is actually in two parts..the first a slasher set in a deserted silver mine; the other set in the town of Unity, kind of a CHILDREN OF THE CORN parody.
The Horrorfest series is usually a lot better!

There's no conceivable way "The Graves" could have been made well, so you might as well enjoy it for how bad it is. There isn't a brain a work in any of its eighty-eight minutes, but it goes through them so cheerfully that I actually found myself enjoying the experience. I shouldn't be recommending it, but unfortunately, I have a terrible tendency to like movies that clearly aren't any good (I may be the only person to have given a passing grade to "10,000 B.C."). Scoff all you want - the cast and crew were obviously having fun while making this movie. And why not? It gave them license to indulge not only in silliness, but also in cheap gimmicks, not the least of which is a relentlessly contrived plot and that most reliable of horror movie clichés: A small town populated by religious fanatics.

It's called Unity, and it's located somewhere in the deserts of Arizona. This is where we find sisters and comic book fans Megan and Abby Graves (Clare Grant and Jillian Murray), who wanted nothing more than to spend their last weekend together (Megan is moving to New York to pursue a career in marketing). They stumble onto Skull City, now a roadside attraction but once a thriving gold mine; behind its tacky, ramshackle façade of wood and rock lies a secret, one that, the sisters soon discover, brings death and apparent damnation to unsuspecting tourists. Roaming the site is a blacksmith (Shane Stevens), who at one point actually tries to calm his victim: "I take no pleasure in this," he says while clutching a bloody hammer. "I answer to a higher power!"

The sisters then run into Caleb Atwood, who says that his friends call him Cookie. We know he can't possibly be sane. Why? Because he's played by Bill Moseley, the go-to guy for maniacal horror movie weirdoes. Sure enough, his character dons a plastic pig snout before grabbing a sickle and chasing after Megan, apparently because he prefers his women young and plucky. He also flaunts an unusually strong sense of smell, as if he were part bloodhound. This may account for the snout, although I tend to doubt it; for all I know, it's a throwback to Moseley's involvement with "The Texas Chainsaw Massacre 2," where he played the brother of the mask-wearing Leatherface.

Another part of the story involves the residents of Unity, all under the thumb of Reverend Abraham Stockton. He's played by Tony Todd, also a horror celebrity, as an overly pious caricature, with mannerisms so exaggerated and dialogue so inane that he's actually more funny than frightening. Was that the intended effect? I honestly don't know. Still, you've got to hand it to him - he hams it up really well. You watch him perform and can tell he was genuinely having a good time. I especially enjoyed his sermon near the end of the film: "By all that's holy, what have we wrought? Say Jesus!" he says before slitting someone's throat, not out of anger, but out of duty to the Savior. Only then does Megan calmly whisper to Abby, "This is crazy," apparently unaware of the fact that statements this obvious are inherently funny.

Regardless, there's no denying that they believe what they're saying, and that should count as some kind of compliment to Grant and Murray. I will not go so far as to say that their performances are good, but within the context of a silly supernatural fright fest, they are doing the best they can possibly do. Their characters are established almost generically; they do, after all, have the notorious distinction of being young women in a horror story. But as the film progresses, we find that, in its own hilariously twisted way, it's aiming to be a parable about maturity, especially for Abby, always the more timid, less motivated half of the pair. I can't promise you will actually be inspired by anything this movie depicts, but then again, maybe you will be - I'm sure there are those among us for whom "It's a Wonderful Life" simply will not do.

In conclusion, if you're thinking to yourself, "This movie sounds stupid," let me assure you that it is. It's so stupid, in fact, that I'm convinced it was intentionally made that way. I'm reminded of the 2007 horror film "Hatchet," which was so aggressive in its efforts to be campy that it was actually kind of amusing. It inhabited its badness with conviction, which is more than I can say for the many, many bad horror movies that try to pass themselves off as serious work. At an artistic level, "The Graves" is about as upscale as gift shop keychain, and is even less lasting than smoke in a windstorm. All the same, it was infectious, and by the end, I had to admit to myself that I had fun watching it. It seems my standards aren't as high as I thought they were.

When I first heard about this film I heard nothing but bad. So I thought it would be good to watch it myself so I can come to a proper decision myself. Well me and a few friends got together and watched it one evening. The opening credits of the film were excellent (a true highlight), but as the film began I quickly realized I wasn't in Kansas anymore, and my hope of understanding this OZ was futile indeed.
The Graves is a fusion of branches in the Horror genre. It attempts to blend "Slasher" film aspects with "Paranormal" aspects, but falls short of creating a convincing story for either. It seems rather jumbled throughout, and the background to the story is left quite empty, this can be good sometimes but in this case you find yourself grasping at air to understand what's happening.
There seems to be a lack of suspense throughout the films entirety and this is on the director. He chose far away shots typically for chase scenes and that absolutely kills action. Imagine watching a golf cart drive from afar and then imagine being in one, it feels much different doesn't it? and these are the consequences of those decisions the director made. The suspense really was non-existent, and I felt bored even during scenes where the hammer wielding murderer is chasing his victim.
The continuity of the film also is ripe with problems and I won't go into details, but there are things I think could have been saved by a better editor; but it's also distinctly possible that the editor didn't have all the shots he needed, and that fault would fall on the director's footage and or the writer's story.
The acting in the film wasn't spectacular and I say that because there were some alright moments on everybody's part. The two main girls Clare Grant and Jillian Murray had pretty good chemistry but bad dialogue can drag even the best of them down. For less experienced actors such as Clare and Jillian there can be very ugly moments, and those moments litter the screen for everybody including the veterans.
Tony Todd's character I found corny and cliché, dare I say Blasé, because he was the atypical preacher archetype who for some reason leads a cult that worships "Legion" the demon from the Bible, or is Todd legion? I don't know, it doesn't really explain it well. You can interpret the film anyway you want, because it's really that farfetched fundamentally. Overall Todd's dialogue was standard of these characters in horror films; he was bouncing around and yelling "The Lord!" really loud as movie preacher do.
Bill Mosley I found the most convincing and the best actor in this film, but, and there is a major but, because his part wasn't written well (dialogue speaking) and you know my opinion on that. He does have a decent scene with Clare in a classroom which was far from impressive by any real movies standard, but it was a highlight next to the opening credits. Bill definitely was the Actor in the movie and surely he has great potential in any other movie that's written better.
Overall when I finished this film I found myself rather disappointed. I heard bad things about it and I saw bad things in it, and I felt no edification at all from watching The Graves.
A good film is unique, and its story is easy to follow yet it must be mysterious and unexpected from scene to scene. Unfortunately this film is very obvious throughout and has no surprises. The Graves is completely text book, which is a good quality for an Olympic event, but not for a piece of art, and this film surely is not one.
Perhaps in an alternate universe this film is great. Maybe it has characters I like and want to prevail. Maybe it has villains whom I fear, villains that make me angry because of the injustice they do to the protagonists I support. Maybe it flows and has the stories voids filled in, and perhaps the events are explained cogently and to a level suitable for an audience, not just the writer who conceived the idea. Unfortunately this film is not in that universe and it does have these problems and for those and many other reasons I don't suggest this movie.

...and it wasn't even a good unfocused mess. I love horror movies, and I'm not terribly picky, but this really didn't have anything going for it. It wasn't well written, and the acting was sub-par. The worst part, though, was that it couldn't figure out what kind of movie it wanted to be. Let the record show, it is possible to be way too ambitious. They could've gone the crazy murderous rednecks route, but decided to throw in a crazy religious cult angle, and just for good measure, a smelly demon. It tried to be funny in places and fell flat every time, the suspenseful scenes weren't, and I was waiting for it to be over from about an hour in. Not even Tony Todd could save this one.

Okay, I am an absolute, B movie fanatic. The After Dark Horror Fest, espicially. Now Movies such as "Lake Mungo", Or, The Broken From After Dark Horror Fest III, Should have the bad reviews. Not this one. It is a Slasher/B Movie. I wish people would understand this intead of expecting a Mystery/Suspense High Budget Movie. It is not a stupid movie, it is actually very original, and has a good plot. People Actually on here, convinced me not to rent it, by their reviews. DO NOT BELIEVE WHAT YOU READ! << Except my review! lol..But, Seriously, the only reason people gave this bad reviews, is they dont understand What it is. It is a Low budget, B Slasher movie.If you are a mystery/suspense movie type peson, Dont watch this, but if you are like me, and love a good B Movie, Check this one out. It is a great movie.

THIS MOVIE IS TERRIBLE! Brian Pulido might be the worst, most ego driven director I've ran across. Horrible in EVERY WAY. This movie is unwatchable!!!

Meg and Abby Graves head out on one last adventure before they go their separate ways after finishing school, but their road trip brings them to a haunted mining town that houses evil spirits from the past. The girls must gather their courage and arm themselves if they hope to escape Skull City alive! THE GRAVES is a weak Slasher hybrid that combines elements of a Western ghost tale. Brian Pulido's feature debut is completely devoid of character development and is filled with meaningless dialog, making it impossible to side with either of his two female protagonists when they do little to garner the audience's support. It is far more foolish than clever, and almost every attempt at humor falls flat. The deaths are equally unimpressive, providing mild amounts of blood, but very little gore. Even the addition of genre favorites Tony Todd and Bill Moseley can't help to save this failing film.

-Carl Manes
I Like Horror Movies

The Graves (Brian Pulido, 2009)

Okay, yes, it's absolutely the case that The Graves, the first directorial feature from writer Brian Pulido, is unforgivably cheesy at times, and it's also the case that yes, this was an After Dark Horrorfest flick (and the vast majority of After Dark Horrorfest flicks are just plain awful, at least those made in America), but I'm not sure it entirely deserves the absolute savaging it's gotten. Pulido's script takes a few wrong turns, but overall it's not the worst thing I've seen recently that's played as straight horror (consider Against the Dark and Laid to Rest, also released in 2009). The cast is stocked with solid B actors, and the sets are absolutely gorgeous; the movie was filmed in Wickenburg, AZ, just up Rt. 60 from Phoenix in Yavapai County, one of the most picturesque places in America. Really, folks, you hated this more than The Gravedancers? Dark Ride? Unearthed? Frontier(s)? I'd rather watch this on a 24-hour loop than ever see another minute of those...

Plot: Megan (Walk the Line's Clare Grant) and Abby (American High School's Jillian Murray) Graves are the hosts of a popular comic-book webcast. Or they were; as the film opens, they're filming their final episode before Abby heads for New York to take a marketing job. After they wrap it up, Abby hauls Megan off to rural Arizona to take a gander at one of those weird little roadside attractions that you only seem to find in out-of-the-way America, the World's Biggest Thermometer. (Those of you who are geographically-inclined will have to swallow some disbelief in one pivotal scene, by the way. Said thermometer is in Baker, CA, a whole lot farther than the "fifty miles at least" the girls are told they're off by; it's more in the vicinity of three hundred, and had they kept driving in the same direction....) Anyway, they get lost and end up in a little roadside diner run by Darlene (A Nightmare on Elm Street's Amada Wyss, still hot after all these years).

Oh, I should mention: it was during this film that I coined Goat's Theory of Rural Radio. In any film which features a character in a car in an unfamiliar place scanning radio stations, they will find a fire-and-brimstone preacher.

In any case, Darlene expresses sympathy for the girls being so lost, then helpfully recommends a local attraction: Skull City, an old gold mine that's been restored and has old-time-stuff demonstrations and the like. We know it's an ugly place thanks to the preface, where the blacksmith re-enactor, Jonah Lee (The Governor's Shane Stevens, a very creepy-lookin' guy), slaughtered a family who stumbled into his exhibit. The girls don't know that, however, and off they go. And did I mention the fire-and-brimstone preacher is the great Tony Todd (Candyman, Final Destination, et al.)?

I haven't even scratched the surface of this cast yet. Bill Moseley (Home Sick, The Devil's Rejects, et al.)'s name on a low-budget horror film is a mark of pure quality. Lamb of God lead singer Randy Blythe pops up. Barbara Glover (Dead Beat) plays the mother of the clan of nutzoids who inhabit the mining town. Up-and-coming scream queen Cathy Rankin (R. E. M.) plays a victim. You see where I'm going with this. Pulido, correctly, decided to spend the majority of his budget on cast, cast, cast, and in my opinion it was a solid decision. The flip side of this is that not a great deal of the budget went to effects, and they decided to split that between gore and dumb supernatural stuff. Should've stuck with the gore, Brian. I was going alone just fine with this thing until the whole Jonah-Lee-Dust-Devil effect. What on earth was that all about?

In any case, think of this as a weird combo of The Hills Have Eyes and Children of the Corn and you'll be on the right track. It's not as good as the originals of either of those films, but it's miles better than either of the recent remakes, and if you're the same kind of Neanderthal I am, it's tough to go wrong with a movie containing this many very, very attractive women. **