Top critical review
10 people found this helpful
Could have been great, but was let down by weirdly written sex scenes
on December 10, 2012
There is a lot to like about Grease Monkey Jive, there are two great characters in Alex and Dan, there is great funny snappy dialogue, the situation of mixing ballroom with a player, and the fact that the characters have an actual story to tell. I immediately got drawn into the story, and liked how it started with the first between Alex and Dan, creating all this chemistry, but then went back in time to show your where it started. It was great getting a glimpse of initial heat between them because a lot of back story is then provided, and it helped knowing it was going somewhere.
There are also great secondary characters in this book, Dan's mates work really well, and I loved the banter they had going on. They also felt so real to me, nothing about them seemed fake. I wondered after finishing this story if any of them may end up with their own.
So all was going well for me, liking the characters, liking the story, liking the growth they are doing, that was until the sex scenes came, and then something happened to the writing that I did not like. They sex scenes made me laugh out loud (and not in a good way). It was like they were written by someone else. They did not have the same sound or flow was the rest of the story. The lines used to describe it were not romantic, but on the "vague but lets be creative side", and kind of repetitive. Just a few examples of this are
- the flat trampoline of her stomach
- her skin was hypersensitive, allergic to Dan's touch
- their outer skins were discarded ... their outer voices discarded too.
- the moguls of his abdomen
- he was too close, too far, too heavy, too light, too nowhere, too everywhere
- they overheated in the warm kitchen, brought to the boil too quickly, too much simmer, too much steam
- hands fast fumbling, breaking away for buttons and zips, coming back together, to grasp, to stroke, too kiss, to push away fabric, to reveal
The sex scene took away the flow of the story for me and it took a while for me get back into it. Personally if the sex scene had not been there but alluded too instead it would have worked so much better, and this book would be a four star read. If the author re wrote them the same would apply. I really did like the story, and it is such a shame this took away from the rest of the book.
Will I read it again? Maybe, but skip the sex scene
Would I recommend it? Sure