Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death: What Children Need to Know [Paperback]

Linda Goldman (Author)

Book Description

Series: Great Answers to Difficult Questions | Publication Date: June 15, 2009

Death is never an easy subject for discussion and adults often struggle to find the right words when talking about it with children. This book explores children's thoughts and feelings on the subject of death and provides parents and other caring adults with guidance on how to respond to difficult questions. The author explores some of the most common questions children ask about death and provides sensitive yet candid answers, phrased in a way that children will be able to understand and relate to. Each chapter is devoted to a particular issue, such as religious beliefs, coming to terms with terminal illness, and the fear of forgetting someone when they are gone. The book recognizes the emotions and reactions of children and family members and includes separate conclusions for parents and children. This guide offers useful advice for parents and carers and will also be of interest to counsellors and other professionals working with children.

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Linda Goldman is a licensed counsellor and has a Fellow in Thanantology: Death, Dying, and Bereavement with an MS degree in counselling and Master's Equivalency in early childhood education. Linda worked as a teacher and counsellor in the school system for 20 years. She has written many articles on counselling and taught and lectured at various universities, most recently in the Graduate Program of Counselling at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. Linda has a private grief therapy practice in Chevy Chase, Maryland, where she now lives. She is author of Children also Grieve: Talking about Death and Healing (Jessica Kingsley Publishers).

Product Details

• Paperback: 112 pages
• Publisher: Jessica Kingsley Pub; 1 edition (June 15, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1849058059
• ISBN-13: 978-1849058056
• Product Dimensions: 8.3 x 5.4 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 4.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,331,499 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

4 of 4 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Short, to the point, and still needs editing, September 14, 2009

By 

J. Hauer "me" - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death: What Children Need to Know (Paperback)

(What's this?)

While my kids haven't yet experienced the death of a person close to them, our family did lose our miniature schnauzer last year. I thought about getting a book from the library to cover the subject but ended up just winging it, telling the kids that Amos was just very, very sick and his body just couldn't fight any longer. We never hid anything from them and just used common sense to give them the information they needed and as they continue to ask questions, I answer them honestly.

Would a book have been useful? If it was Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death, I don't think it would have been worth the money for me. That's because I seem to be on the same wavelength as the author - tell the kids the truth but don't give them more information than they need. If they ask follow up questions, again, answer truthfully but don't blabber on and on. When the kids ask what happened to Amos after he died, I said that the vet took care of Amos. I didn't need to go into detail about how his corpse was tossed in an incinerator.

I can see how a book like this can be useful for those who need more guidance. At the same time, the publisher needs to assign a strong editor to the book before final publication. Sentences such as "It made her body stopped working." (pg 15) tend to make me take the author and message of the book much less seriously.

You also need to be aware that all of the answers are written from the viewpoint of a trusted adult or counselor who is outside the family - not as if the answers are being given by parents to their children. So, the answer "I don't know that answer. Maybe your dad does. Why don't you ask him?" is not helpful. I bet Dad certainly does know what happened to Mom's body. There are no suggestions here about what Dad ought to actually tell his daughter.

I also felt the very short section aimed at those children who are possibly dying themselves to be less than adequate. I would not recommend the book for that particular population.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very helpful, December 4, 2009

By 

Kathy Carrington "book fiend" - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death: What Children Need to Know (Paperback)

(What's this?)

How do you explain death to a 3-year-old? Even if it's just a pet goldfish that died, how do you explain that he's gone forever? What does that mean when you are barely a thousand days old?
The answer? Simply with many questions back to the child of the "What do you think happens" nature.
The author points out what parents know but often forget when confronted with a suddedn "What is death?" question: what kids want and need to know changes with age. And the author does a good job through pretend conversations with a child to help the reader see what might be going through the kids head at different ages.

2 of 2 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Age Appropriate Answers to Questions Children Ask About Death, September 18, 2009

By 

Richard R. Blake (Bridgman, Michigan) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (TOP 500 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death: What Children Need to Know (Paperback)

(What's this?)

"Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death" approaches the subject of helping the child work through the grieving process on the basis of "What Children Need to Know." Case studies have been created to illustrate approaches for addressing questions most frequently asked by children who have experienced the loss of a loved one. Basic scripts have been created to provide dialog with questions and suggested answers for use by the parent or counselor.

Why? What? Where? Who? These are the questions most often questions asked by children. The proposed dialogs are designed to draw out the feelings and concerns the child is anxious about in order to ease their concerns and build confidence while respecting and encouraging their questions.

Goldman displays compassion, sensitivity and thoroughness in her writing. I found the information in the appendix especially helpful. A checklist for children provides a timeline as well as suggested activities which will help ease the grieving process. A separate section is devoted to adults detailing common signs of grieving in children with suggestions for how the adult can deal with these indicators. A useful list of helpful websites and children's resources is another invaluable aid.

Linda Goldman writes for parents, teachers, and professional counselors in this excellent resource guide on addressing children's difficult questions about death.