Death is never an easy subject for discussion and adults often struggle to find the right words when talking about it with children. This book explores children's thoughts and feelings on the subject of death and provides parents and other caring adults with guidance on how to respond to difficult questions. The author explores some of the most common questions children ask about death and provides sensitive yet candid answers, phrased in a way that children will be able to understand and relate to. Each chapter is devoted to a particular issue, such as religious beliefs, coming to terms with terminal illness, and the fear of forgetting someone when they are gone. The book recognizes the emotions and reactions of children and family members and includes separate conclusions for parents and children. This guide offers useful advice for parents and carers and will also be of interest to counsellors and other professionals working with children.
Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death
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Book Description
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About the Author
Linda Goldman is a licensed counsellor and has a Fellow in Thanantology: Death, Dying, and Bereavement with an MS degree in counselling and Master's Equivalency in early childhood education. Linda worked as a teacher and counsellor in the school system for 20 years. She has written many articles on counselling and taught and lectured at various universities, most recently in the Graduate Program of Counselling at Johns Hopkins University in Baltimore, Maryland. Linda has a private grief therapy practice in Chevy Chase, Maryland, where she now lives. She is author of Children also Grieve: Talking about Death and Healing (Jessica Kingsley Publishers).
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review
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While my kids haven't yet experienced the death of a person close to them, our family did lose our miniature schnauzer last year. I thought about getting a book from the library to cover the subject but ended up just winging it, telling the kids that Amos was just very, very sick and his body just couldn't fight any longer. We never hid anything from them and just used common sense to give them the information they needed and as they continue to ask questions, I answer them honestly.
Would a book have been useful? If it was Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death, I don't think it would have been worth the money for me. That's because I seem to be on the same wavelength as the author - tell the kids the truth but don't give them more information than they need. If they ask follow up questions, again, answer truthfully but don't blabber on and on. When the kids ask what happened to Amos after he died, I said that the vet took care of Amos. I didn't need to go into detail about how his corpse was tossed in an incinerator.
I can see how a book like this can be useful for those who need more guidance. At the same time, the publisher needs to assign a strong editor to the book before final publication. Sentences such as "It made her body stopped working." (pg 15) tend to make me take the author and message of the book much less seriously.
You also need to be aware that all of the answers are written from the viewpoint of a trusted adult or counselor who is outside the family - not as if the answers are being given by parents to their children. So, the answer "I don't know that answer. Maybe your dad does. Why don't you ask him?" is not helpful. I bet Dad certainly does know what happened to Mom's body. There are no suggestions here about what Dad ought to actually tell his daughter.
I also felt the very short section aimed at those children who are possibly dying themselves to be less than adequate. I would not recommend the book for that particular population.
Would a book have been useful? If it was Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death, I don't think it would have been worth the money for me. That's because I seem to be on the same wavelength as the author - tell the kids the truth but don't give them more information than they need. If they ask follow up questions, again, answer truthfully but don't blabber on and on. When the kids ask what happened to Amos after he died, I said that the vet took care of Amos. I didn't need to go into detail about how his corpse was tossed in an incinerator.
I can see how a book like this can be useful for those who need more guidance. At the same time, the publisher needs to assign a strong editor to the book before final publication. Sentences such as "It made her body stopped working." (pg 15) tend to make me take the author and message of the book much less seriously.
You also need to be aware that all of the answers are written from the viewpoint of a trusted adult or counselor who is outside the family - not as if the answers are being given by parents to their children. So, the answer "I don't know that answer. Maybe your dad does. Why don't you ask him?" is not helpful. I bet Dad certainly does know what happened to Mom's body. There are no suggestions here about what Dad ought to actually tell his daughter.
I also felt the very short section aimed at those children who are possibly dying themselves to be less than adequate. I would not recommend the book for that particular population.
3 of 3 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review
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There is no easy way to deal with death. Whatever your age, though it is a natural part of the circle of life, the finality of it can be something a person cannot get a grip on, nor can they overcome without the right guidance or opportunity to gain answers. For children, the topic is even more imposing. I have found this short and very concise piece of work to be invaluable. In a reader-friendly "Question and Answer" type format, it addresses not only death of the elderly through old age or disease, but the more difficult topics such as suicide, accidents, murder and even terror attacks. The language is not condescending or vague, and the explanations are in no way cliches, such as, "it was meant to be..." which often open up more questions in children's minds, and if left unaswered, can fester into depression, withdrawal, and other behavioral issues. The book focuses on scenarios and how adults can answer the child's questions, with ages ranging from as young as five through 17. In each case, the adult creates an open, safe environment for the child to express their thoughts, fears, worries, or even guilt and blame. Religious beliefs are also touched upon and loss of a parent, sibling or family pet is especially helpful and insightful. The suggested responses are carefully worded according to the age of the child (too much info at a young age is not recommended and not enough for older children still leave holes in their understanding). I found myself highlighting often in this little book since my children certainly have been exposed to enough situations where death and dying were very real to them, and I didn't always know the right way to approach their questions with careful honesty. This book has already become an important reference and will be highly recommended in my school as well as to friends and colleages.
2 of 2 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Vine™ Review
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How do you explain death to a 3-year-old? Even if it's just a pet goldfish that died, how do you explain that he's gone forever? What does that mean when you are barely a thousand days old?
The answer? Simply with many questions back to the child of the "What do you think happens" nature.
The author points out what parents know but often forget when confronted with a suddedn "What is death?" question: what kids want and need to know changes with age. And the author does a good job through pretend conversations with a child to help the reader see what might be going through the kids head at different ages.
The answer? Simply with many questions back to the child of the "What do you think happens" nature.
The author points out what parents know but often forget when confronted with a suddedn "What is death?" question: what kids want and need to know changes with age. And the author does a good job through pretend conversations with a child to help the reader see what might be going through the kids head at different ages.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
Answers about death and dying
My husband died of cancer in February 2006 and left behind 5 children.... the oldest was in 11th grade and the youngest was in the 4th grade. Read more
Published 11 months ago by Sleepless
no review to give
i would love to be able to give a review on this book however we have never received it. this is a great shame because we wanted to use it to explain to a minor about the detah of... Read more
Published 12 months ago by wato
Short but Age Appropriate Answers
It is difficult to explain death to younger children. Although short, this book is to the point with age appropiate answers to help guide parents or adults in explaing death to... Read more
Published 13 months ago by Marisa Nitsch
An Important Book Addressing An Important Topic
Author Linda Goldman's book "Great Answers To Difficult Questions About Death: What Children Need To Know" is a very important book addressing a very important topic: Death as it... Read more
Published 21 months ago by Jeffrey Peter A. Hauck
Compassion and Creativity
This is an important book for families to have. It gives adults ideas of how to explain death and the rituals surrounding it to children. Read more
Published 23 months ago by W. Jamison
Concise, sensible and practical
Linda Goldman's "Great Answers to Difficult Questions About Death: What Children Need to Know" is a very concise (just over a hundred pages) volume that offers sensible and... Read more
Published on May 4, 2010 by 221b BakerSt
great answers
This book was recommended for a course in Children's Grief by the professor who is the author. It was an indespensible resource for the course. Read more
Published on February 14, 2010 by L. Rainey
great
Love this book! I am a single grandmother raising an eleven year old grand son. Sometimes I feel at such a loss because the world is so different from when I was growing up. Read more
Published on January 30, 2010 by Jean A. Tresselt
It's a Start
The book, Great Answers to Difficult Questions about Death is a good starting point book. Linda Goldman brings you into short sessions with her pediatric clients. Read more
Published on January 28, 2010 by Fritosgirl
hope you never need this book
This book has many scenarios involving questions and feelings which may arise over loved ones who are ill, have recently died, or died at an unexpected time or age. Read more
Published on December 23, 2009 by Daniel Mall
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