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5.0 out of 5 stars An Excursion through a Sort of Gruesome Coney Island Gone Stupendously Off Its Rocker
A mixture of humor and horror that takes the viewer back to his childhood's daring ventures into macabre and spooky ruins that lie at the edge of everybody's juvenile neighborhood: at one inviting, forbidding, terrifying, more than a little dangerous. This one, though, more creepy for having a known/imagined truly gruesome past and being unimaginably enormous and dark and...
Published 4 months ago by James L. Hufferd

versus
11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The most boring movie I have ever seen
I love bad horror movies, so even if this movie was bad I would have at least enjoyed it. But it's not bad. It's just downright awful! I usually like to divide up the positives and then the negatives at this part of the review, but there really are no positives to speak of. So here are the negatives:

The camera work is awful. I'm not just talking about the...
Published on November 19, 2012 by F. Gwin


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11 of 14 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars The most boring movie I have ever seen, November 19, 2012
This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
I love bad horror movies, so even if this movie was bad I would have at least enjoyed it. But it's not bad. It's just downright awful! I usually like to divide up the positives and then the negatives at this part of the review, but there really are no positives to speak of. So here are the negatives:

The camera work is awful. I'm not just talking about the shaky camera, which certainly is annoying, I'm talking about the logic behind the cameras. I understand that some people just love the idea of found footage movies, and that is fine, but this movie is just pretending to be a found footage movie. There are LOTS of camera shots that are not from an in-movie camera. Take the first scene for example: our protagonists are sitting around a table and the camera switches around randomly, all while there is a main camera that one of the protagonists is filming from. Later, while the three protagonists are sneaking into the asylum, they walk through a graveyard. While in this graveyard the two that are not holding the camera get into an argument, and rather than filming them both from a distance the cameraman flawlessly cuts from face to face WHILE THEY ARE STILL TALKING. It's not a found footage movie unless the camera shots are all continuous! You can't just do that!

The lighting is also terrible. Apparently someone decided to hook up a generator to the burnt down building (why?) and rather than hook it up well, these unnamed individuals decided to make all the lights flashy and scary. Did the mechanics not know what they were doing? This makes the film into a little seizure-fest. I'm not kidding when I say that I had to look away from the screen at some parts. It is just AWFUL.

The characters, played by themselves, are also incredibly bland. The pacing is also so boring that after about twenty minutes I had to pause the movie and go make a cup of coffee so that I would not fall asleep (no, I am not joking). Ten minutes after I got coffee I turned the clock in my room around so that I wouldn't have to watch the minutes pass anymore. I really wanted the characters to die horrible deaths just so that something interesting would happen. Somewhere in the movie some other random characters show up and die almost instantly. Why? Because the writers needed unlikable characters to kill off and didn't want to kill off any of the main unlikable characters. They were literally forced into the plot just to kill off. There is also a dumb ending with a jump scare.

The locations were specifically picked to be real rundown hospitals. But, as is made clear throughout the movie, MANY locations were used. I could honestly never tell where the actors were in this movie. The shots are generally of a random, rundown hallway or room, then the film cuts to another shot of the protagonists exploring another unconnected hallway or room. This kills any sort of mood or atmosphere that this movie could have had. Whenever something is chasing them the camera just cuts to the scene when the chase is over and they are all catching their breath (rather than have a scary moment where the cameraman is being chased but doesn't know how close it is, which might actually be good).

Actually, as I think about it, there were two really funny things about this movie:

Near the beginning of the movie, for no reason the cameraman finds his love interest in the library and she says to him (and I am not kidding), "Sean, you can't film in the library, you'll get us kicked out." I almost died laughing.

During the special features of the movie we find out that all of the cast members believe in ghosts (including the producers, because someone had to fund this movie, and there is no way that someone who doesn't believe in ghosts would invest in such a train wreck). But they don't believe in any sort of objective base for these ghosts, just a subjective "I think I felt a ghost" sort of way. So if you are humored by such people telling their ghost experiences then you will have a blast watching "the making of Greystone Park." One protagonist apparently ran off the set in the middle of shooting and woke up in the woods outside. It must have been ghosts! It is just implausible to say that it was him trying to make everyone believe it was ghosts! Another protagonist believes that he brought home a ghost from one of the sets and it lived in his room for several months! Unbelievable! Also, while they were filming in a random hallway, someone turned on the overhead lights! But wait! None of the cast members knew where the light switch was! It surely was a ghost!!!

This whole movie is a catastrophe. Like I said before, I LOVE bad horror movies. But this movie isn't bad. It's literally a sin against horror movies. Don't give them your money like I did.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
2.0 out of 5 stars SHADOW MEN, October 28, 2012
This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
This film is the "teens explore an abandoned mental institution" coupled with the hand held found footage genre. The first three chapters of the film is talking about ghosts over the family water pipe, along with a history of mental institution torture with the same lame historical black and white film plus a little Greek Mythology.

Chapter 4 (in case you want to skip all that stuff and miss the mild character build up) starts the meat of the film as our threesome enter Greystone and start filming in a most annoying fashion. U-tube videos of people making love in a small row boat during a storm while tossing their camera into the air does not have as much jerking motion as this filming. When you add the fact of the lights flashing on and off, it is a wonder that you can make it through it without developing some weird epileptic motion sickness.

Sean "Shaky" Stone is the main character. He is accompanied by Antonella Lentini and Alexander "Shakes" Wraith. The film is a clever descent into madness either through the power of suggestion of something supernatural. Unfortunately they chose a genre that ruined any script genius. Lights going out. People screaming. Shadows, quick movements. These cheap effects have all been done before and better.

Parental Guidance: F-bombs, no sex or nudity.
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12 of 17 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars UNNSPIRED BY TRUE EVENTS, October 20, 2012
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
This movie asks viewers to spend 90 minutes following three talentless actors in the dark looking for ghosts in GREYSTONE PARK, an abandoned mental asylum where---what else---patients were abused and tortured. It's ridiculous---you can't see anything, so why bother making a movie? You won't find a movie as dull and boring as this crapper!
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3 of 4 people found the following review helpful
1.0 out of 5 stars couldn't even finish watching it!, November 24, 2012
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
Unfortunately I didn't read any of the previous reviews or I would not have purchased this movie. I should of had a clue when shipping cost twice as much as the movie at a mere $1.19....I thought my DVD player was being tempermental when actually the entire time it was the movie. Nothing can be distinguished the camera is jerking soooooo much and the so called actors, well I could have done a better job...I kept waiting for it to get better but that never happened. It was utterly rediculous!!!I love horror but I had to turn this one off as it was really a comedy on "How Not To Make a Movie" Two thumbs down plus some!!!!!
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5.0 out of 5 stars An Excursion through a Sort of Gruesome Coney Island Gone Stupendously Off Its Rocker, August 19, 2014
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
A mixture of humor and horror that takes the viewer back to his childhood's daring ventures into macabre and spooky ruins that lie at the edge of everybody's juvenile neighborhood: at one inviting, forbidding, terrifying, more than a little dangerous. This one, though, more creepy for having a known/imagined truly gruesome past and being unimaginably enormous and dark and filled with...
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1.0 out of 5 stars Worst DVD ever..., May 17, 2014
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
I used to work at Greystone Park as a nurse, so I bought this DVD as more of a curiosity than for entertainment. To say I was disgusted would be an understatement. The story-line is non-existent, the film work is horrible and you can't see much of anything because it's filmed at night in a dark abandoned hospital. The County now owns the property where the film was shot and as of 2004, I believe that they were planning to make a park there. The buildings there date back to the turn of the century and are just beautiful. It's a shame to see them go, but if people are breaking into them to make crap like this, then maybe that's the best decision after all.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Interesting Film, January 22, 2014
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
The film gives the audience the definite feeling of 'being there for the ride'. Most of this film is quite spontaneous (unplanned!). The sudden nature of most of the happenings gives the viewer very jarring emotional starts!! Edge of your seat entertainment.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Saw it with my friend., January 3, 2014
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Svetlana Chervonaya (Brooklyn, NY United States) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
I saw the screening at the new York city theatre. I could not take my eyes off the screen. Beautiful work of art. Can't wait to show my friends. It makes you feel like you are there. I can rarely find something like that.
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1.0 out of 5 stars horrifyingly horrible, June 13, 2013
This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
I am a horror movie freak. This was horrible in every way possible; from the camera, the script, the actors, etc.... I love found footage horror films but this was brutally bad.
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5.0 out of 5 stars Greystone Park, May 5, 2013
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This review is from: Greystone Park (2012) (DVD)
Great movie! could have been a little more scarier but it's good! it is one to watch more than once!
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Greystone Park (2012)
Greystone Park (2012) by Sean Stone (DVD - 2012)
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