Customer Reviews

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief Through the Five Stages of Loss

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So often when we grieve people who have not experienced similar losses try to offer us suggestions of why the death made sense, why we shouldn't feel so bad, and that we should get over grieving and just move on with our lives. While sometimes those suggestions are good, and worthwhile, often we look back at others and think, you could not know how I feel. This book does a wonderful job of exploring the flood of emotions you feel after you lose someone.

This book goes through in depth the stages of grieving and the misconnecptions that we may have about those stages. For example, acceptance does not mean, we are ok, and moving on without our loved one. In reality, it is knowing they have passed away and adjusting our lives around that loss, and guess what, you don't have to like moving on. I like how this book helps you explore the palette of grief that we all have with the deaths of loved ones.

I honestly found myself weeping and remembering the deaths of my loved ones that I had recently lost. It was refreshing to read that the depth of the loss of my loved ones was normal, healthy, and even healing. I liked that in the forward the author felt that if he didn't lose sleep over writing the book, you would never lose sleep when reading the book. I can't recommmend this book enough for those who have lost loved ones. This book is a real blessing in the healing process of the death of a loved one.

As a widower for ten years, this book is the best yet on the grief and grieving process. Good practical information. Not an academic type of publication. I have read many such books since my spouse died.

Another excellent book is C.S. Lewis' "A Grief Observed".

On Grief and Grieving: Finding the Meaning of Grief through the Five Stages of Loss by Elizabeth Kubler Ross and David Kessler is a must-read book, a compelling page-turner for me, that provides profound insights into the necessity that we must properly grieve the passing of our loved ones.

As pointed out by the authors, the grieving process is not instinctual for us; it requires learning. It is particularly important that as adults that we don't forget to teach our young about grieving, for if a child doesn't grieve in an appropriate way for him or her, that repressed grief may surface years later, a phenomenon that sometimes happens to adults as well.

The book is very humane and compassionate and "teaches with short, clear and concrete stories" that analyze some of the many possible surrounding circumstances that others have faced in losing loved ones. Potentially, we and the people we know could face such circumstances as well. In addition, with these stories, the authors provide relevant and insightful advice and the reasons for that advice.

The authors state that, "if you do not take the time to grieve, you cannot find a future in which loss is remembered and honored without pain." They remind us that we will never forget our loss of a loved one and that we will never be the same; they also remind us that we can learn, when our own individual timetable suggests, that it may be possible to find "renewed meaning" in our lives. This renewed meaning will continue to include, "loving memories and honor for those we have lost."

I highly recommend that you read this book and that you give it to others, as personal circumstances "dictate." Kubler Ross is a legend in the field of grief counseling (she passed away within the last year) and Kessler brings remarkable humanitarian credentials of his own to the writing task. Their combined efforts results in producing a highly readable, compassionate, insightful, and useful book, nothing short of superb.

I have been in bereavement work for over ten years now. I was saddened when I read Elisabeth Kubler Ross had died, but surprised that she had written one last book with David Kessler. I preordered it the moment it become available from Amazon. After a few months of waiting, I thought it will never live up to my expectations. And it didn't, it surpassed them. I have never seen such a comforting and complete book that was organized so thoughtfully for someone in grief. And believe me, I have seen lots of grief books over the years. I will be highly recommending it for all our clients. This is a beautiful and befitting last book for Kubler Ross.

i lost twin daughters and i don't even know how to put into words what this book has done for me. It put in words exactly how i felt, what i was going through and that i am normal for feeling this way and i am on the right track in my grief even though it may not always feel like it.my journey through grief has been the roughest, most difficult thing i have EVER had to do or face and this book simply made the grief process a little better and made grief make sense. I so HIGHLY recommend this book to ANYONE who has lost someone. it will show you you're not alone and you will eventually come out on the other side and be able to enjoy life again.

When my father died of aortic stenosis six weeks ago, I was devastated. I had not anticipated my loss to be felt as intensely, for my grief to be so deeply experienced, so raw and debilitating. Having been a Masters-degreed level social worker for 28 years I knew, however, that reading books about grieving, seeking out grief counseling and attending bereavement groups would be profoundly healing experiences for me. Dr Kubler-Ross's and David Kessler's book ON GRIEF and GRIEVING has been the sixth book I have read about grieving and it has been the most helpful. Their stating "we believe with all our hearts that even in death, our loved one still exists..and that "the body is just a coat, a suit of clothes that we wear during our lifetime...a shell, a cocoon..." helped me like you would not believe. I had suffered a great deal of guilt about not being as helpful and supportive to my father as I wish I could have been in his final days. The book touched my core by giving me permission to forgive myself, that regret is a part of loss and that "no matter how much you did for your loved one, how much you cared for them and loved them, there will always be something else." The book concludes that "the pain of loss is so intense, so heartbreaking BECAUSE in loving we deeply connect with another human being and grief is the REFLECTION of the connection that has been lost. Grief is the healing process that ultimately brings us comfort in our pain. That pain and our love are connected forever. To avoid the pain of loss would be to avoid the love and life we shared." I, therefore, STRONGLY recommend this book to ALL who grieve the loss of a loved one and have a need to be comforted. The Bible itself says "Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted." This book IS one of the ways that one can feel that comfort.

As a professional coach with a graduate education in psychology in addition to specific study in the area of working with grief, I highly recommend this classic that explains the grieving process in depth from the lips of someone who spent their whole life immersed in working with people going through it. Elisabeth Kubler-Ross was a pioneer in this area and she handles this topic with depth and sensitivity.

I found this book extremely insightful and gentle at a time when I needed a book to be just these things. It is written in a style that is both general and very specific at the same time. It spoke to my loss very keenly, but I felt it spoke to the concept of grief quite articulately and gave much needed permission for grief on one's own terms. I am going to get a copy for my sister and I recommend it as a condolence offering or for anyone who has lost a loved one.

"Grief is the intense emotional response to the pain of a loss. It is the reflection of a connection that has been broken. Most important, grief is an emotional, spiritual, and psychological journey to healing." pg. 227

This book has been a tremendous help to me. I lost my husband, my best friend 7 months ago. I am not the kind of person who opens up to my close friends and family much less a therapist. I new I needed some help to get a perspective of what I was experiencing and feeling in my loss.
I saw myself going through the 5 stages of grief; Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance.
In going through all these stages and reading this wonderful book I realize that it is ok to feel sad, it is ok to look at the picture of us and cry and even be angry because we won't be going back to Hawaii like we talked about. It's ok to not want to get out of bed some days.
The most important thing I gained from reading this book is the fact that because he went away, my life is forever changed, I will never "get over it", and my family and friends will have to realize that.
"The person you were is forever changed.
A part of the old you died with your loved one.And a part of your loved one lives on in the new you." pg. 119

This book helped me understand the feelings that I am having, since I lost my wife. It also made me look at life alittle differently. I would recommend this book to anyone who has lost a loved one.