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Grieving a Soulmate - The Love Story Behind "Till Death Do Us part." [Kindle Edition]

Robert Orfali
4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (35 customer reviews)

Print List Price: $14.95
Kindle Price: $6.99
You Save: $7.96 (53%)

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Book Description

Grieving a Soulmate is unlike any book you’ve ever read, even though the story is universal. It’s about the death of a lover. The book takes on this difficult and very personal topic with courage, out-of-the box thinking, and deep love. Ranging from the practical to the emotional––and frequently blending the two––Orfali’s style of writing makes a difficult topic easier to manage. He writes in an easy style that is analytical, yet speaks from the heart. The content is thought-provoking, unique and original. It’s your gentle and informed guide to the deep grieving that accompanies the death of a soulmate. This book should help you quickly overcome the red-hot pain of grief. It also tells you how to reconstruct your life, find meaning, and deal with the big existential issues from a secular perspective. It’s a survival guide for the last stages in a soulmate relationship. Above all, however, Grieving a Soulmate is a love story.

Editorial Reviews


"Orfali writes with intellectual seriousness.... The result is both a useful guide to end-of-life issues and a profound reflection on their meaning. A heartening testament to the ability of love to transcend loss."
--Kirkus Discoveries

"This part self-help book, part memoir, and tribute to Jeri, Robert Orfali's soulmate, reaches out to anyone adrift in the chaotic world of grief."  
-- Feathered Quill  

Product Details

  • File Size: 291 KB
  • Print Length: 282 pages
  • Page Numbers Source ISBN: 1936400669
  • Publisher: Mill City Press (February 9, 2011)
  • Sold by: Amazon Digital Services, Inc.
  • Language: English
  • ASIN: B004N637NE
  • Text-to-Speech: Enabled
  • X-Ray:
  • Word Wise: Not Enabled
  • Lending: Enabled
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #774,284 Paid in Kindle Store (See Top 100 Paid in Kindle Store)
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Customer Reviews

4.4 out of 5 stars
4.4 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
10 of 10 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars A compassionate and moving story of love and grief January 7, 2011
By Rusty B
Grieving a Soulmate is more than a manual or guide. It's a compassionate and moving story of love and grief. One man's struggle to make sense of his soulmate's illness and death. Theorists have given us the stages of grief; Robert gives us a template to resolve one's loss. He presents a manageable plan to process the "bursts" of overwhelming pain and sorrow following the death of a soulmate. He has synthesized elements of attachment and grief theories into an applied model of processing existential pain for lovers, spouses, and soulmates. He ultimately provides a roadmap to help guide you beyond your loss into finding meaning in your new life. Unlike Freud, the author advocates "continuing bonds" with the deceased lover. He makes a strong case that this continuing love can be a powerful coping mechanism. The book is a must read for all therapists, but also a compelling read for those contemplating marriage, planning their life with a partner, facing end-of-life issues, or grieving the loss of their beloved companion. Robert has written from the experiences of a secular existentialist, but his work has practical meaning for all women and men who have experienced a loving and reciprocal life relationship with a cherished soulmate.

Richard E. Beth, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful
By kgwells
In Grieving a Soulmate, Orfali presents the intimate details of the last stages of his late wife's struggle with cancer as well as his journey from the intense pain of "grief bursts" to a place of peace. He provides a creative framework for healing with step-by-step instructions presented in his "grief cure." Orfali also presents a thorough educational review of grief and attachment theories. I found this book to be far more than a survivor's manual. While theorists have outlined the stages of grief and referenced the idea and importance of "grief work," Orfali provides the missing link between theory and life application. He offers us explanations and instructions for implementing this "grief work" described by many grief theorists as necessary for healing. Orfali also provides the reader tips on navigating the medical and hospice systems in a readable and interesting manner. As a mental health therapist specializing in trauma and loss, I found Orfali's book an invaluable resource. This book is truly a must read for professionals in the field as well as for anyone who has ever been in love.

Kelly Gill Wells, LCSW, PIP
Adult & Adolescent Psychology Associates, LLC
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Grateful to the Author May 16, 2011
Format:Kindle Edition|Verified Purchase
After losing my husband (my soulmate) to cancer 3 months ago I had been looking for a book to "ease my pain". The waves of deep sorrow were overwhelming me. Until this book, no one had given me a way to manage my "grief bursts" as the author so aptly calls them. Finally !!! The author gave me a way to do the "grief work" that everyone recommends but no one tells you how to do. I am using his method and it is working. He is the first author I have seen that understands that the grief felt when losing a spouse that was your soulmate is different than other forms of loss or grief. I only wish that every grief counselor used this book as a guide. It is sure to become a bestseller.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
5.0 out of 5 stars Grieving a Soulmate April 9, 2011
Robert Orfali tells a heartbreaking story in his book Grieving a Soulmate: The Love Story Behind "Till Death Do Us Part." In this part survival guide/part memoir, Orfali begins by describing when his wife, Jeri, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 1999, which marked a turn in their journey, that their time together was coming to an end. He briefly discusses the details of their battle with Jeri's cancer and highlights her strength, courage and her ability to overcome her circumstances, after which he then describes in detail his own battle with the grief he was left when his wife passed.

At one point, Orfali mentions that he wishes he could have read this same book before his wife passed, and so in order to help others, he writes about his experience with grieving the death of his soulmate, Jeri. He writes about how he dealt with his own grief and gives an analytical but heartfelt approach to sorting through the mess death leaves behind--both the emotional aspects and the practical. Through sharing his wife's passing and the grieving that followed, Orfali seeks to provide the reader with the preparation, support, and understanding needed to grieve their lover when death comes. He discusses how to reconstruct one's life, find new meaning as a survivor, and that it is possible to learn to live again and once again be whole.

Orfali's writing style is gentle, but firm, handling the reader with care while guiding them through a difficult topic. There is a section in the book in which he attempts to give a thorough overview of the available "grief theory--" the theories published by psychologists ranging from Sigmund Freud to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and how this research impacted his grieving process, and also acknowledges the various self-help books available and what they did for him.

Because death is inevitable and is always waiting on the doorstep, this book is for lovers of all ages.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Verified Purchase
This is a very touching and 'raw' experience of a man dealing with the LOVE & loss of his soulmate. I recommend this book to anyone touched by cancer. It was a wonderful story of how they LIVED with this horrid disease and his emotional states following her death. I am a recent widow and found some of his techniques for dealing with grief helpful. I encourage you to read this book and challenge you to be a ble to put it down. WONDERFUL!!! Aloha
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Most Recent Customer Reviews
5.0 out of 5 stars Five Stars
Good book to read & true story
Published 4 months ago by JOHN SARICH
5.0 out of 5 stars Really enjoyed reading it
Really enjoyed reading it. The story got me in. I learnt from the book and have recommended it to friends.
Published 9 months ago by Dr. Fang of Voodoo AE
4.0 out of 5 stars Great quick read with some helpful tips here and there
Great quick read with some helpful tips here and there. The author has some good advice coming from the viewpoint of the significant other without talk of turning to God or... Read more
Published 10 months ago by Maggie Tierney
4.0 out of 5 stars Four Stars
I found the book very helpful in my grieving process.
Published 10 months ago by Gordon Sam
5.0 out of 5 stars Easy on the psyche.
I waited awhile after my loss to try and come to terms with it. This book was just the ticket. It was empathetic, soulful, endearing and matter of fact about a lot of issues I... Read more
Published 12 months ago by Debi McCarley
4.0 out of 5 stars Explaining a grief burst
Helped me & my family understand our grieving better. We have something to base our feelings on as we traveled back and forth in our loved one's passing.
Published 14 months ago by Dianne Massey
4.0 out of 5 stars Good Read
Very helpful through my own grieving.Some was repetative information. I would recommend to anyone who has lost the love of their life.
Published 15 months ago by Linda
4.0 out of 5 stars still reading it
have not finished it yet. but thank you for asking how well Ilike it - is it 20 words yet?
Published 19 months ago by eileen ehernbergr
5.0 out of 5 stars most helpful
I just lost my soulmate less than 3 months ago. A wonderful friend who knew I was trying to deal with my loss in a positive way found this book for me. Read more
Published 21 months ago by VCobb
5.0 out of 5 stars Very insightful
I saw this book on and read a short prelude to the book. This is a great story, told with such clarity and giving men the permission to express these feelings. Read more
Published 23 months ago by Marsha Caldwell
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More About the Author

Robert Orfali and his soulmate of thirty years, Jeri, were both in the computer software field in the early days of Silicon Valley. They co-authored three best-selling software books and went together on several world tours to promote their technology. Jeri was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, in 1999, shortly after they moved to Hawaii.

Jeri and Robert spent the next 10 years fighting Jeri's cancer and learning how to live with it. Jeri even learned how to surf during her chemo years. She went from "Silicon Valley Executive Woman of the Year" to "Waikiki Surfer Chick." Jeri received one of the most moving surfer funerals ever. Her ashes are in the ocean at Waikiki.


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