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Grieving a Soulmate: The Love Story Behind Till Death Do Us Part Paperback – January 17, 2011


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Grieving a Soulmate: The Love Story Behind Till Death Do Us Part + Widowed + How To Go On Living When Someone You Love Dies
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 280 pages
  • Publisher: Mill City Press, Inc. (January 17, 2011)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1936400669
  • ISBN-13: 978-1936400669
  • Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (34 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,126,844 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Orfali writes with intellectual seriousness.... The result is both a useful guide to end-of-life issues and a profound reflection on their meaning. A heartening testament to the ability of love to transcend loss."
--Kirkus Discoveries

"This part self-help book, part memoir, and tribute to Jeri, Robert Orfali's soulmate, reaches out to anyone adrift in the chaotic world of grief."  
-- Feathered Quill  

More About the Author

Robert Orfali and his soulmate of thirty years, Jeri, were both in the computer software field in the early days of Silicon Valley. They co-authored three best-selling software books and went together on several world tours to promote their technology. Jeri was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, in 1999, shortly after they moved to Hawaii.

Jeri and Robert spent the next 10 years fighting Jeri's cancer and learning how to live with it. Jeri even learned how to surf during her chemo years. She went from "Silicon Valley Executive Woman of the Year" to "Waikiki Surfer Chick." Jeri received one of the most moving surfer funerals ever. Her ashes are in the ocean at Waikiki.

Customer Reviews

I found the book very helpful in my grieving process.
Gordon Sam
I would recommend to anyone who has lost the love of their life.
Linda
It's a compassionate and moving story of love and grief.
Richard E. Beth

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

10 of 10 people found the following review helpful By Richard E. Beth on January 7, 2011
Format: Paperback
Grieving a Soulmate is more than a manual or guide. It's a compassionate and moving story of love and grief. One man's struggle to make sense of his soulmate's illness and death. Theorists have given us the stages of grief; Robert gives us a template to resolve one's loss. He presents a manageable plan to process the "bursts" of overwhelming pain and sorrow following the death of a soulmate. He has synthesized elements of attachment and grief theories into an applied model of processing existential pain for lovers, spouses, and soulmates. He ultimately provides a roadmap to help guide you beyond your loss into finding meaning in your new life. Unlike Freud, the author advocates "continuing bonds" with the deceased lover. He makes a strong case that this continuing love can be a powerful coping mechanism. The book is a must read for all therapists, but also a compelling read for those contemplating marriage, planning their life with a partner, facing end-of-life issues, or grieving the loss of their beloved companion. Robert has written from the experiences of a secular existentialist, but his work has practical meaning for all women and men who have experienced a loving and reciprocal life relationship with a cherished soulmate.

Richard E. Beth, Ph.D.
Licensed Clinical Psychologist
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By kgwells on January 7, 2011
Format: Paperback
In Grieving a Soulmate, Orfali presents the intimate details of the last stages of his late wife's struggle with cancer as well as his journey from the intense pain of "grief bursts" to a place of peace. He provides a creative framework for healing with step-by-step instructions presented in his "grief cure." Orfali also presents a thorough educational review of grief and attachment theories. I found this book to be far more than a survivor's manual. While theorists have outlined the stages of grief and referenced the idea and importance of "grief work," Orfali provides the missing link between theory and life application. He offers us explanations and instructions for implementing this "grief work" described by many grief theorists as necessary for healing. Orfali also provides the reader tips on navigating the medical and hospice systems in a readable and interesting manner. As a mental health therapist specializing in trauma and loss, I found Orfali's book an invaluable resource. This book is truly a must read for professionals in the field as well as for anyone who has ever been in love.

Kelly Gill Wells, LCSW, PIP
Adult & Adolescent Psychology Associates, LLC
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Grateful on May 16, 2011
Format: Kindle Edition Verified Purchase
After losing my husband (my soulmate) to cancer 3 months ago I had been looking for a book to "ease my pain". The waves of deep sorrow were overwhelming me. Until this book, no one had given me a way to manage my "grief bursts" as the author so aptly calls them. Finally !!! The author gave me a way to do the "grief work" that everyone recommends but no one tells you how to do. I am using his method and it is working. He is the first author I have seen that understands that the grief felt when losing a spouse that was your soulmate is different than other forms of loss or grief. I only wish that every grief counselor used this book as a guide. It is sure to become a bestseller.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Jean on January 29, 2011
Format: Paperback
Grieving a Soulmate is a highly intelligent, compassionate, and
well-written guide to dealing with loss. I recommend it to anyone who has lost a loved one, works as a professional in bereavement counseling, or teaches in a program addressing the issue of loss. His resources are superb and provide guidance for further reading on the subject of loss.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By S. Sullivan on June 15, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This is a very touching and 'raw' experience of a man dealing with the LOVE & loss of his soulmate. I recommend this book to anyone touched by cancer. It was a wonderful story of how they LIVED with this horrid disease and his emotional states following her death. I am a recent widow and found some of his techniques for dealing with grief helpful. I encourage you to read this book and challenge you to be a ble to put it down. WONDERFUL!!! Aloha
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Diana Reed on April 9, 2011
Format: Paperback
Robert Orfali tells a heartbreaking story in his book Grieving a Soulmate: The Love Story Behind "Till Death Do Us Part." In this part survival guide/part memoir, Orfali begins by describing when his wife, Jeri, was diagnosed with ovarian cancer in 1999, which marked a turn in their journey, that their time together was coming to an end. He briefly discusses the details of their battle with Jeri's cancer and highlights her strength, courage and her ability to overcome her circumstances, after which he then describes in detail his own battle with the grief he was left when his wife passed.

At one point, Orfali mentions that he wishes he could have read this same book before his wife passed, and so in order to help others, he writes about his experience with grieving the death of his soulmate, Jeri. He writes about how he dealt with his own grief and gives an analytical but heartfelt approach to sorting through the mess death leaves behind--both the emotional aspects and the practical. Through sharing his wife's passing and the grieving that followed, Orfali seeks to provide the reader with the preparation, support, and understanding needed to grieve their lover when death comes. He discusses how to reconstruct one's life, find new meaning as a survivor, and that it is possible to learn to live again and once again be whole.

Orfali's writing style is gentle, but firm, handling the reader with care while guiding them through a difficult topic. There is a section in the book in which he attempts to give a thorough overview of the available "grief theory--" the theories published by psychologists ranging from Sigmund Freud to Elizabeth Kubler-Ross and how this research impacted his grieving process, and also acknowledges the various self-help books available and what they did for him.

Because death is inevitable and is always waiting on the doorstep, this book is for lovers of all ages.
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