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Groomology: What Every (Smart) Groom Needs to Know Before the Wedding Paperback – April 1, 2009


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 192 pages
  • Publisher: Sourcebooks Casablanca; Smart edition (April 1, 2009)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1402217897
  • ISBN-13: 978-1402217890
  • Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 5 x 0.6 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 7.8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (22 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #279,474 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Michael Essany was the host of The Michael Essany Show from E! Entertainment Television. As a recent groom himself, Essany saw the need for an intelligent guide that would help the couple plan their wedding together.

Excerpt. © Reprinted by permission. All rights reserved.

Excerpt from Chapter 1: Gearing Up

Why Shopping for Candles Could Save the Day
After you make a thoughtful assessment of the process to come, begin to formulate an initial game plan. What should you do first?

Although it's imperative to gain as much insight as possible from wedding guides, books, and magazines, in the end, only so much of your preparation can come from printed resources. The time has finally come for you to venture out into the real world all by yourself.

Indeed, there's never been a more appropriate time to take a drive. Hit your local wedding boutiques, formal wear outfitters, retail outlets, novelty shops, and anyplace else you can find wedding stuff. You may be tempted to bring your fiancé, but you can't—at least not this time. Why? Because you need to keep distractions to a minimum when you're trying to study. And that's exactly what this expedition is about—studying.

You're not going to buy anything. You're not going to book anything. Chances are, you're not even going to touch anything. What you will do for certain, though, is learn a great deal about wedding products on the market.

All around the world, weddings are big business, not to mention being a magnet for suckers with a non-prioritized budget.

Take one box of unscented white tea lights, for example. In most places, you can get a set of one hundred for five bucks. But add the word "wedding" to the packaging of those same little candles, and watch the price balloon to ten bucks for a set of fifty.

A high priority on your fledgling to-do list should be taking a drive to four or five wedding-related stores in your neck of the woods, a task that should consume no more than a single morning or afternoon. Soak it all in. Take note of the options available. You probably had no idea that so many products and possibilities are out there. And even though you may initially find yourself bewitched, bothered, and bewildered by the sheer volume of crap you find dominating your window-shopping, the truth of the matter is that this private little rendezvous will make you a much savvier, informed groom.

The results of this field trip will prove far reaching. In no time at all, you'll find yourself in a better position to bounce creative ideas off your bride and even answer questions better than she may be able to. Best of all, you now can be trusted in her eyes to venture back into the wedding market to run errands now that she's aware that you're a bit wiser for the wear. Obviously, gaining her faith in your abilities to help plan the wedding is a significant step in reducing her overall stress.

When Doing More Is Less
By now, you're probably feeling quite the stud. You're informed, you're in touch, and you're seemingly in command of the challenges ahead.

Nonetheless, avoid the urge to fill your plate with things to do. You may be tempted to knock out all the planning in a flurry of activity, and then just relax the last six months before your wedding. A preferable alternative is to pace yourself throughout the planning stages. Don't forget, no matter how astute you may think you are now, both you and your bride will still botch something between now and the wedding; it may be trivial or it may be calamitous. By not getting too far ahead of yourself, you can assure that a minor disaster doesn't become a major one or have a domino effect on other elements of your plans you rushed through just to convince yourself you're somehow ahead of the game.

In every phase of the process unfolding before you, take small steps. Even for the involved groom, no matter how you cut it, the bride is still going to have more work and stress than you can ever imagine. Don't overload yourself to the point where you become unavailable to do your most important job—help the bride when she gets overloaded.

Weddings Are a Team Sport
For whatever reason, many men believe it is contrary to the nature of a smart, self-sufficient groom to have to double check with his bride if it's "all right" to do something. Whether it's surprising the bride by booking wedding flowers all by yourself or selecting the men's attire without any discussion, such gung-ho behavior has a huge potential for backfiring.

Even if you're taking charge in the planning process, it's absolutely imperative that you take nothing for granted. It may seem counterproductive to call your bride on her cell phone to check with her each time you make a purchase or spur-of-the-moment decision you assume she will agree with. Put that notion out of your head immediately. The potential reward of taking something for granted and getting it right is not worth the risk of getting it wrong.

When it comes down to making important decisions on the spot, even ones placed squarely in your court, don't assume anything. Doing things on your own is in no way the same as doing things about which she is unaware. Being entrenched in the planning of your wedding does not give you bridal immunity. It is always a good idea to check in with your fiancé to ensure you're both on the same page about product selection, service bookings, or any other arrangement, small or substantial. Believe me, she won't be annoyed with a call to check that whatever you're about to decide is desirable to her and appropriate for your wedding. In fact, she will probably appreciate it tremendously.


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More About the Author

Michael Essany is a former E! Entertainment Television host and producer widely recognizable for his appearances on Oprah, The Tonight Show, Access Hollywood, Today, ET, and Inside Edition.

Michael is also a bestselling author, columnist, and blogger whose work and accomplishments have been featured in the pages of Time, People, Newsweek, Entertainment Weekly, Details, Maxim, and TV Guide.

Michael graduated Magna cum Laude from Valparaiso University in 2005 with a BA in Political Science. That same year, A&E Biography recognized Michael's work and inspirational achievements by naming him to their list of "America's Most Remarkable People."

Since 2008, Michael Essany has served as Vice President of Indiana Grain Company. Michael, his wife Christa, and their daughter Gianna reside just outside of Chicago, Illinois.

Customer Reviews

This was a great read for me during the 1.5 years between our engagement and wedding day.
BBuotS
If you buy it as a gift, do yourself a favor and read it first (whether or not you are getting married) and then wrap it up.
365BeautySecrets
He really enjoyed the book and I looked through it as well and it seemed to very helpful.
Stacey Busko

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

9 of 9 people found the following review helpful By 365BeautySecrets VINE VOICE on March 23, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
All in all, Groomology is an easy read (few hours, if that) and worth the money (inexpensive) in my opinion. I'd recommend it to any bride to read first and then hand over to her groom as a cute gift. You can always give it as a hand-me-down to the next lucky couple getting married. Or anyone can give it as an inexpensive yet thoughtful gift to a male friend who has decided to next the step, AKA engagement gift. Something humorous, not a super serious gift, but still quite helpful in getting the groom excited about his role and responsibilities in the wedding planning. Although this is a gift for the groom, it's also a gift for the bride (helping her help him help her, get it?). Moreover, there are several online resources that are listed in the book. If you buy it as a gift, do yourself a favor and read it first (whether or not you are getting married) and then wrap it up. Believe me.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Nadia A. Rahim on April 21, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I bought this book based on the reviews thinking it was going to be tongue-in-cheek humor and pleasant reading for my husband-to-be. But when I read the actual book, it was rather boring, preachy and was simply not what I expected.
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By T. Aaker on April 12, 2012
Format: Paperback
It's a quick read with lots of great tips. I especially liked the the section where the author highlights the various responsibilities at 3 months, 2 months, 1 month, etc. There are a lot of non-obvious things that you don't want to overlook or leave to that last few weeks.

One gripe: When I went to budget out the wedding expenses according to the "Wedding Budget Breakdown" section, I discovered it only added up to 77% - more like "Wedding Budget Meltdown".
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3 of 3 people found the following review helpful By Stacey Busko on October 10, 2011
Format: Paperback
Got book for my groom as a present during the wedding process. He really enjoyed the book and I looked through it as well and it seemed to very helpful. Highly reccomend.
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Whitney on February 9, 2012
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This book is brilliant!! It gives the man a thought that he might actually have an opinion on the wedding day!
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By Andie on June 5, 2013
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I got us both "support books" for our wedding... I constantly over hear him laughing he reads passages aloud and it makes me laugh to.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By achunter1 on October 6, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Book came in great condition and is very helpful. It is a smaller book and does not require a very long time to sit and read.
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Format: Paperback
Wow, that was a waste of money and time.

This useless book is full of errors: "grom," "weding," and a budget of percentages that only sum up to 77%. Its advice is about as accurate as a horoscope.
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