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Grow Up!: How Taking Responsibility Can Make You A Happy Adult Paperback – January 1, 1998


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 291 pages
  • Publisher: St. Martin's Griffin (January 1, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1582380406
  • ISBN-13: 978-1582380407
  • Product Dimensions: 1 x 5.4 x 8.3 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 14.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 3.3 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (12 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #104,780 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

Review

"Pittman is straightforward and witty in his guide to what it really takes to become a responsible adult." --Library Journal

"In Grow Up!, film critic and psychiatrist Dr. Frank Pittman tells us the secrets of happy adult lives. He uses his own life, his years of practice as a therapist, and his prodigious reading and movie viewing to analyze our culture. He is opinionated, brilliant and incisive, never dull of mealymouthed. Plus, he is one of those rare psychiatrists who likes mothers." --Mary Phipher, Ph.D, author of Reviving Ophelia

"A wise, funny, in-your-face prescription for being a responsible and happy adult. Frank Pittman is Jeremiah, Solzhenitsyn, and Bill Cosby rolled into one extraordinary writer with somethin to say that we need to hear." --Dr. William J. Doherty, director of the Marriage and Family Therapy Program and president-elect of the National Council on Family Relations

From the Publisher

"In Grow UP!, film critic and psychiatrist Dr. Frank Pittman tells us the secrets of happy, adult lives. He uses his own life, his years of practice as a therapist, and his prodigious reading and movie viewing to analyze our culture. He is opinionated, brilliant, and incisive, never dull or mealy- mouthed. Plus, he is one of those rare psychiatrists who likes mothers." --Mary Pipher, Ph.D., author of Reviving Ophelia

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Customer Reviews

3.3 out of 5 stars
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews

40 of 44 people found the following review helpful By Robert Gordon on September 2, 2000
Format: Paperback
It's a good book, but since the other reviews cover its strong points, let me include the weak ones: Dr. Pittman has a couple of biases that, in my opinion, weaken the book a bit. First, he advances a stay-married-at-all-costs philosophy that doesn't square with reality. On one hand I say, "Thank God someone finally has the courage to confront our national trend to use divorce to demonstrate how much we've 'grown.'" And I applaud his willingness to speak the truth--that divorce is far more devastating to children than the divorce peddlers dare acknowledge. We scratch our divorced heads (while our children fall to violence and suicide), asking, "Gee, what's wrong with kids today?" Hello, they have no fathers!
Dr. Pittman fails to answer satisfactorily why childless couples should "stay married at all costs" or, for that matter, why people who don't plan to have children should get married in the first place. He provides ample reasons not to divorce, but doesn't really address the benefits and potential of marriage. Nor does he speak to the possibility that marriage may simply be growing obsolete. Like it or not, people aren't willing or able to tough it out anymore. Is the answer to "grow up" and act like we used ta'? I don't know. I don't think Dr. Pittman does either. He does, at least, remind us that kids are involved, and kids need two parents with the maturity to put the kids first. That is--or should be--the commitment that goes with the decision to have children.
Thank you, Dr. Pittman, for helping me sort out my growing uneasiness about those hypnotic messages from the PBS children's shows: "You're SPECIAL." "You're great just the way you are." "There's nobody like you.
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22 of 24 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 4, 1999
Format: Paperback
This book is for all of us struggling to be adults and "do the right thing" in a society which fosters/ rewards irresponsibility and sees adolescence as a way of life rather than a stage we go through on our way to becoming full and compassionate human beings. Dr. Pittman eloquently but humorously addresses how to grow up, take responsibilty for ourselves and get the most out of our lives while debunking the myths which keep many of us entrenched in out-dated roles/expectations and unhappiness. It is a quick read and at times I laughed outloud at the authors candor and references to movies which substantiated his points.
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4 of 4 people found the following review helpful By Catherine on December 23, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have to admit up front I didn't read all of this book as it wasn't what I thought it was going to be about. I ended up skimming through the final chapters. The style of writing was a tongue-in-cheek (described as witty on the back cover), which I personally didn't enjoy and there were a lot of references to movies which were completely lost on me.

Having said that, here is what I interpret as the essence of the book - if you accept the human condition, act your age, do your job and grow up in today's society, you will be happy - The author then goes on for the rest of the book to describe today's society, so that we can better know what our roles should be. He gives us an overview about the twilight of patriarchy and the rise of narcissism and the consequences for men, women and families as the world changes. He then goes through concepts and ideas about how you should be a grown man ("stop and ask for directions, it really is not that bad...") and then how to be a grown woman in today's society ("don't expect men to read your mind, they can't even read their own").
After this he talks about marriage and how to raise children in today's society. (never read those chapters sorry) and then concludes with a chapter about simplicity and happiness, which can be summed up as 'get on with it and everything will be fine.'

So this book may be helpful if you feel a bit lost about the roles of men and woman in society and where marriage fits, and you are seeking some practical advice on these issues, but it is not something that I would consider essential reading.
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9 of 12 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 30, 2002
Format: Paperback
As a layman reading this, I thought there were several concepts of interest;
Adult Children - some of us are stuck in our adolescent ways, never growing up, even as adults.
Collapse of Patriarchy - in today's world of social upheaval, where anything goes (and it ususally does), we and our children live in a world where traditional concepts are challenged. This applies to gender, age, etc etc. (Pittman compares this to the decline of Windsor) Our world is increasingly becoming narcisstic, we're trained to consume more and more.
In this post patriarchy world, we are even more challenged to grow ourselves and that of our children.
Pittman's message is simply Grow Up! Take responsiblity for yourself, your choices, your relationships, and forgive your parents.
Still a good read that most people should enjoy, even if they don't agree with everything he says.
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12 of 17 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on January 31, 2002
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Finally a self help book written by a therapist who thinks that we should focus on being grown ups and not self indulgent children with little regard for others. A witty and entertaining book about becoming a grown up and being responsible for your actions and emotions. Novel concepts in our current society, I know. Women will love this book because the author does a great job of trying to point men in directions that will allow them to have deeper and more fulfilling relationships with women. The anecdotes about his patients (he as been a therapist for a long time) and his family really add to the flavor of this easy read. I think that you will find this an enjoyable and enlightening book. I know that I did.
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