Growing a Girl: Seven Strategies for Raising a Strong, Spirited Daughter [Paperback]

Dr. Barbara Mackoff (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: October 1, 1996

Provides effective guidelines to help parents raise daughters, explaining how to avoid sexual stereotypes, widen opportunities, enhance learning, and cultivate strong, spirited, and caring young women.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

In the post-women's movement period of the 1990s, many parents, even those committed to gender equity, are "amazed" at the seemingly inborn differences between the genders. And most parents committed to raising their children free from gender bias give up when the kids are in preschool. Barbara Mackoff, in Growing a Girl, takes to task these postfeminist ideas. She stresses that, instead of focusing on gender, parents should see children in terms of their individuality, while at the same time wearing "gender glasses" and teaching their daughters to be aware of society's gender biases. Mackoff, a consulting psychologist, suggests the concept of "equalist" parents, who create equal opportunities for their daughters in a loving, supportive way. Mackoff gives readers specific, valuable tools for raising spirited, strong daughters and helps parents teach their daughters to enjoy being girls without limiting the opportunities that lie beyond society's gender bias.

From Publishers Weekly

It's no news that many self-assured, spirited girls lose their exuberance and confidence during adolescence. Mackoff, a family therapist, hopes to counteract this effect by arming parents with the means to help younger girls (preschool through age 12) develop and maintain confidence as they grow. The author?who conducts "Growing a Girl" parenting workshops?claims that the "biggest difference between girls and boys is how we treat them." Readers need not necessarily agree with that sweeping statement in order to appreciate Mackoff's sound specific advice on providing girls with positive female role models, encouraging girls in science and math and nurturing competence and self-reliance. Mackoff discusses why team sports are beneficial for girls, why parents should praise girls for accomplishments rather than beauty, how to keep girls safe without instilling fear and other pertinent topics. Key ideas are boxed at chapter endings, and non-sexist reading and software suggestions for girls are included. The text is softened with personal anecdotes about Mackoff and her daughter, though some of her own family rules may seem restrictive or petty (no Barbies, scratchy lace or bow headbands for her baby Hannah). Still, this well-researched book?Mackoff cites studies and statistics throughout?will make parents think twice about the messages their daughters are receiving from home as well as from their communities.
Copyright 1996 Reed Business Information, Inc.

Product Details

• Paperback: 320 pages
• Publisher: Dell; First Printing edition (October 1, 1996)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0440506611
• ISBN-13: 978-0440506614
• Product Dimensions: 5.3 x 0.8 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 9.6 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #577,088 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

49 of 51 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Practical advice - includes info on opposing views too!, February 6, 2002

By 

Nature Mom w/ 2 children + EE & Management de... (Massachusetts USA) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Growing a Girl: Seven Strategies for Raising a Strong, Spirited Daughter (Paperback)

The author has done a tremendous job of taking many experts' views of the "right" way to raise a girl, discussing their merits (pros/cons), and then giving her own recommendations. She includes specific information and tips for situations you're likely to encounter (from Barbies, to adults commenting on how beautiful your child is, to playground and friendship struggles). She doesn't come across at all with a "raise your daughter this way....or else..." attitude, but she does really get you to think about how and why you choose to react and how important it is that you understand your child even if you don't agree (empathy). A bonus is that many of the strategies apply to both boys and girls....and the chapter for fathers is truly wonderful (especially if you're unlikely to get the father to read an entire book). Also, unlike other books, this book takes you right from your daughter's infancy through teen years and beyond. It's a book you'll probably read over and over as your child reaches a new stage of development.

Bottom line: You'll learn practical tips and strategies to help keep your daughter's self-esteem strong from preschool through teen years and beyond. This book has been the favorite among my friends with girls. Best wishes to you and your girl(s)!

31 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Buy this before the stroller!, August 23, 1998

By 

[e-mail] (NY) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Growing a Girl: Seven Strategies for Raising a Strong, Spirited Daughter (Paperback)

Recommended by the director of my daughter's preschool, I was delighted beyond belief to read this book. Most books (and many are wonderful) focus on the frustrations of being a young woman in our gender biased society, something we already know and unfortunately don't define for ourselves until later in life. This book gives new moms and dads a chance to recognize the dilemnas very young girls face each day and help give their daughters a voice, strength, opportunities and a better understanding of the culture around them. And even if you are progressive and smart and think you know how to raise a daughter, this book is a wonderful reminder of all the little things that make such a huge impact on a little person. A wonderful gift.

29 of 32 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars very usable parenting advice, September 27, 2000

By 

Jeffrey L. Schatz (Vienna, VA United States) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Growing a Girl: Seven Strategies for Raising a Strong, Spirited Daughter (Paperback)

I find many of the instances of sexism that Mackoff sites are somewhat suspect and reaching. However I don't care one bit, as the advice she gives is EXTREMELY usable. She helped me make my own decisions on how to help my girl thrive in this world, with many applied strategies. I don't want to raise my girl to be a boy, or to be what I decide she will be, but rather to discover what she wants to be, embracing her femaleness and her plain old humanness. I would say that 80% of what she recommends is excellent parenting advice that would apply equally well to boys as well as girls. Few books have as much usable, action-able advice as this book has. And I do read quite a few books. I will be requesting all people who have an active role in raising my daughter (ie grandparents, and hopefully teachers) to read it. (FYI I am a man/dad)