Customer Reviews

Growing Girls: The Mother of All Adventures

5 star:		(7)
4 star:		(1)
3 star:		(0)
2 star:		(2)
1 star:		(1)

 

 

I read the "trilogy" this summer, starting with, what I consider her best, Fifty Acres and a Poodle, followed by The Exact Same Moon. I did enjoy Growing Girls, although the chapters were erratic at times and did not exactly follow a timeline. It was more a collection of essays. I'm hoping she will write another book as I love hearing about her life as a mom and the rigors/joys of living on a farm. I was disappointed not to hear more about Marley the poodle in this book, but I know she has a different focus now that she has kids.

This collection of interconnected essays explored Laskas' adventures in raising her two adoptive children, Sasha and Anna. We get to be along for the ride through the family's adoption of Sasha from China, and her subsequent language delays and the triumphs she experiences as she develops.

The stories Laskas tells of the girls adjusting to each other and becoming fast friends, playing on the farm, and the adventures they have in the world are touching and sweet. Laskas also shares a lot of the emotional ups and downs she experiences as a mother, and explores the meaning and importance of family and culture through the vehicle of her own family's experiences.

This book had me alternately laughing and nodding in deep recognition of all the ways we form families. The stories of the girls on the farm had me rolling, and I immediately felt comfortable in Laskas' world.

You'd want to read books one and two before trying this one (Fifty Acres and a Poodle, then The Exact Same Moon), since they are enjoyable as well and provide the background for this story.

Being a male I can't totally emphasize with Ms. Laskas points of view about raising girls. But being the father of a girl I can say how surprised I was to find that raising a girl was basically a full time job for two adults. But what a blast. (Not that I'd want to do it again, I'm waiting for grandchildren to spoil.)

Ms. Laskas, however, has a writing style that I've never had. Furthermore, I think her stories also tend to have a happier ending than mine. For instance, in her story of the balloon that got away, daddy chased after the balloon (According to the daughter, 'that is my best balloon.') and after a delightful chase the balloon obligingly turned around and allowed daddy to catch it. In my case the balloon took off like a homesick angel.

I've missed Erma Bombeck. But it looks like she has come back to live on a farm in Pennsylvania.

Jeanne Laskas lets the reader into her life, like a friend who sits across from you for a cup of coffee and conversation. The parallels she draws between herself and her girls, her animals and their "children" are enlightening and humorous, and she is willing to be honest about the dark and ugly fears that arise in the middle of the night as well. Her chicken adopts a duck, and despite their different origins, they are a FAMily. Family takes many forms and extends to neighbors and not just limited to the suburban nuclear biologically linked entity. Her self doubts are things most moms will relate to, and i believe her girls will benefit from the musings and thoughts she has shared and worked through. Contrary to other reviews that saw mostly hate, this book is about love and growth, and how circumstances can interfere with the usual and expected "mother love" and what we do to compensate for it. All of us who adopt are grateful for the opportunity, regardless of whether our children come from out of the country or from down the street, but we have to admit also that there had to first be a loss in order for us to gain the family we have. And sometimes the reason for that loss or abandonment is terrible or totally unknown and we and our children have to work through that with grace and courage as well as fear and doubt. Its a terrible thing for a society to say "ONE CHILD and no more" and "SONS will support you in your old age, your daughters will leave you for another family" regardless that it also means more girl babies "released" "abandoned" "given up" for Americans who can afford it, to adopt. DNA is not the sole reason for a family, and Jeanne makes this opinion clear. Certainly to share the history and celebrate the culture is important, but ultimately we are family, and in this case, American. And if the children choose to be more "American" than say, Chinese,(whatever that means, really...its an enormous and diverse country) fine. Ask any immigrant-american about their second or third generation children and how much culture is retained even by folks who live it, before worrying too much about being only who we are, we who have to learn it in order to share it.

This book is a joy.

Fifty Acres and a Poodle: A Story of Love, Livestock, and Finding Myself on a FarmHave found so much enjoyment in these books. It may be because I grew up in that area but I just love her writing style. Although quirky, she is funny, lovable, a worrier and just happy doing the best she can do for her husband, girls,and all of the great animals that she has accumulated over time. I do hope that she writes another!

What the heck is "a reader"'s review talking about? Jeanne honestly wrestles with all of the complex emotions that go into adoption--like being angry at the mother for abandoning her daughter by the side of the road to loving the mother for giving Jeanne the chance to have this daughter. To pull out the lines from the book that "a reader" did shows she totally missed the point: this book is not a sugar-coated telling of how everything about adoption is simple or easy or perfect. Instead, it's a real, honest wrestling match between the author and all of her various emotions about her adopted daughters' absent birth mothers or their possibly-negligent caretakers. Of course, it ultimately emphasizes acceptance and love--but getting there isn't an easy journey and Jeanne seems fearless in baring all of her doubts, fears, and wants along the way. That's a huge part of what drew me into the story and made it ring so true and feel so real to watch her go from that to loving her daughters immeasurably, and falling in love with Chinese culture and the people she interacted with.

As the aunt to an adopted girl from China, I appreciated hearing someone give a voice to the not-so-pretty, COMPLICATED things we feel, but when they get attacked like this, it shows why we need more books that get to the truth of adoption and why some people are so terrified of having honest conversations about it. This is a beautiful book, honest to the core, and with a touching message about finding love and acceptance.

What a great book! Any adoptive mom (or bio mom, for that matter) can relate to Jeanne Marie Laskas as she chronicles daily life - the fun, the nonsense, and the intense emotions - of being a mom to 2 daughters born in China. This book had me laughing out loud sometimes (really!) and shedding tears at others. I recommend this book to moms everywhere!

I felt like I was reading the author's diary. She writes so openly and lets us into her world of adoption, motherhood, and farm life. Throughout the book I stopped to read something funny to my husband and he would say, "keep going." He enjoyed this book as much as I did.

Ms. Laskas is a good writer, and can be very funny at times. She writes well about animals.

However, I was very disturbed by the way she refers to Chinese people in her book. . . not once, but many times. In fact, I am surprised that, with views like these, she is allowed to write for national magazines.

Ms. Laskas is the mother of two little girls, adopted from China. At the time she wrote the book, these girls were 3 and 5. I have two daughters adopted from China who are about the same age, which is why I picked up the book in the first place.

Ms. Laskas wastes little time in telling us how she feels about her daughters' birthmothers. On page 4, she admits to "hating" them. She does not know why her childrens' birthmothers could not keep them, but she knows that she hates them for it.

From the comfort of her middle class home in the US, Ms. Laskas judges her daughters' birthmothers and finds them wanting. She shows little compassion, or caring, or understanding for these women.

Even more surprising, she does not seem to care that her daughters will read her book one day. How confusing it will be for them, as they try to come to terms with their history, and feel pride in their heritage.

Ms. Laskas admits to waking up in the middle of the night, rageful about the fact that her daughers were abandoned. She apparently blames all Chinese people for this fact. "How dare you leave these girls to fend for themselves, even for a second. How dare you! What is the matter with you people?" she writes.

What is the matter with "you people"? I am saddened that she would write this. Ms. Laskas, your daughters are one of these "people" !

Yet Ms. Laskas has expectations that she expects the Chinese to meet. She wants a healthy child and she expects the Chinese to provide one. Her first daughter was healthy and cute when the Laskas met her in China. But their second baby was somewhat withdrawn. Again, Ms. Laskas is angry at the Chinese around her.

"I wondered what these monsters had done to this child." she writes on page 50.

On page 52, still fearful, she writes, "Those monsters had done something to our baby." (As it turns out, the child is just badly scared and soon adjusts.)

Most people in the US don't know much about Chinese adoption or culture, and will look to her as a guide. Sadly, Ms. Laskas is encouraging others to view China in a negative way. By disseminating such negative views, she is making the world a harder place for her own little girls to grow up in. She writes that she cares about her daughters, and I'm sure she does, but her dualistic and angry tone can only serve to increase the prejudice in the world.

I'm shocked that a publisher would publish this book. The way the author writes about the Chinese is horrifying--calling them monsters, accusing them of terrible things. The reason for her anger is unclear--it seems she blames the entire Chinese population for the fact that her little girls are available for adoption.

Laskas' second daughter is a bit quiet and withdrawn at first--and Laskas seems to consider rejecting the child! And yet she dares to criticize the girl's birthmother! Unbelievable.

This book is the work of a very angry, entitled person. I wouldn't recommend it.