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Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children Paperback – May 5, 1998


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 336 pages
  • Publisher: Hazelden; Second Edition edition (May 5, 1998)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 1568381905
  • ISBN-13: 978-1568381909
  • Product Dimensions: 9.2 x 7.4 x 0.9 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 1.5 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.6 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (49 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #23,426 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Connie Dawson is a therapist who uses an attachment-oriented perspective in her work with adoptees and adoptive families. She sees clients at the Attachment Center Northwest in Kirkland, Washington, a facility which specializes in the treatment of children who are adopted following their first parents' failure to parent adequately, including many who are adopted internationally. She also does adoption coaching, consults with agencies and treatment facilities, presents workshops, and teaches for several universities. She was a member of the Counselor Education Faculty at Portland State for five years and is co-author with Jean Illsley Clarke of Growing Up Again: Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children. Early in her career, she taught fifth and sixth grade and was a member of the consultation and training department of The Johnson Institute in Minneapolis, Minnesota.

Jean Illsley Clarke recently authored two books, Connections: The Threads That Strengthen Families and Time-In: When Time-Out Doesn't Work, which received a Parent's Choice Award. She is a parent educator, and a trainer of parent educators. She holds a Master of Arts degree in Human Development and was awarded an honorary Doctorate of Human Services by Sierra University. She is a teaching and supervising member of the International Transactional Analysis Association and a Nationally Certified Family Life Educator. Last year she was named Distinguished Alumna of the Year by the College of Human Ecology at the University of Minnesota.

Customer Reviews

I have found this book to be very helpful.
Julie Seddon Cabell
A great book for anyone working with children or those looking to reflect on how their development was effected by those who parented them.
Happy in Iowa
Easy to follow, highly informative, lots of great examples and exercises.
vivienne barrington

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

36 of 36 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on May 13, 1998
Format: Paperback
The chapter on "Ages and Stages" gives clear easy to read guides on what we humans learn when and how, and then how to learn "it" now if we did not learn it then. For instance, if you are "Scared to say no and allow others to dominate." then perhaps between 18 months and 3 years you did not learn how to express and handle feelings. One activity that might be helpful for an adult today, is learning how to use a "Fuss Box" (complete instructions are included) to express those feelings. Then instead of the feelings, such as anger controlling you, you can express and release those feelings and then move on to problem solving. I found it to be the best book of its kind
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24 of 24 people found the following review helpful By KGZMAN@aol.com on March 4, 1999
Format: Paperback
Of all the parenting books I have ever read, and as a Parent Educator I've read many, this is the book I go back to again and again. The charts and illustrations are so clear and concise, even parents with limited time and/or education can quickly assess the need of the child and choose a solution most effective for each situation. I recommend it as a must-have!
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37 of 40 people found the following review helpful By Melissa Short on September 14, 2000
Format: Paperback
I grew up in a dysfunctional family, like most of us in this world. As a result, people are not given the necessary information needed in order to live as God intended as a whole, spiritual person. This book will help you begin to understand the gaping holes and emptiness you feel as a person. It examines parenting from both the child and the parent viewpoints, which makes it extremely easy to grasp all the concepts presented. If you are seeking answers, this book has them. Be prepared to face defiance from your family and other "unsafe" people in your lives as you challenge the myths of your childhood. I wish you much strength on your journey toward the truth.
This book is so powerful and insightful in a straightforward approach that can be easily understood, that I feel it should be incorporated in a human growth and development class and required in our society. Our lives would be happier and our world would be a better place as a result. I strongly recommend it to everyone.
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14 of 14 people found the following review helpful By Sherrie Eldridge (Fishers, IN) on January 28, 2003
Format: Paperback
Reading Growing Up Again has given me tremendous insights into the kind of parenting I was given and how that is affecting my parenting and grandparenting. I find that I go back to the book often and re-read portions of it. As an adoptee, I especially appreciated the chapter devoted entirely to adoption. Thank you, Connie and Jean!
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14 of 15 people found the following review helpful By "kafrinek" on September 14, 1999
Format: Paperback
I think this book is excellent because it is very user friendly and it has helpful stretegies for people in general. Whether you are single, married, with children, or with out, you can learn a lot about yourself and others in your life.
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15 of 17 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on December 7, 2001
Format: Paperback
I am a Child and Family therapist. I am also a parent who needed help learning new ways to grow as a parent. This book is the single, most influential parenting book I have ever read. I read it as a parent in its first edition. Now I'm grateful for a second edition to pass on as a recommendation to my clients.
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11 of 12 people found the following review helpful By Shawn Rucks on April 17, 2007
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I picked up this book before having our first child thinking I would get some insights into how to raise our daughter. What I found was that the book was really for me. Through it, I learned about how I have some of the same needs as children--needs like recognition, feeling valued, loved for who I am, unconditionally.

What's more,it helped me understand better what my needs really are and how to get them met by myself and from others who love me. Most importantly I learned that in order to parent my daugther the I way I want her to grow up, I needed to parent myself and make sure my actions are congruent with my what I want for her. I strongly recommend this book for anyone who wants to create a solid, loving, nurturing environment for themselves and their children.
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7 of 7 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on September 1, 1998
Format: Paperback
This book is filled with practical and real world ideas for personal growth and to help your children become the best they can be! Special information on adoption and over-indulgence make this new edition worth every cent! Revised affirmations have a multitude of uses to help fill in old gaps and brighten your outlook. Highly recommended to every human being.
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Most Recent Customer Reviews


More About the Author

Jean Illsley Clarke is an accomplished workshop leader and a nationally certified and internationally known parent educator. She is the author or co-author of several books about families including Self-Esteem: A Family Affair; Growing Up Again, Parenting Ourselves, Parenting Our Children; Time-In: When Time-Out Doesn't Work; How Much is Enough? Everything You Need to Know to Steer Clear of Overindulgence and Raise Likeable, Responsible, and Respectful Children. Who, Me Lead A Group? is about leadership skills.

She has designed, tested, and taught accompanying courses and has offered facilitator training across America and in other countries. Her books have been translated into eight languages. The developmental affirmations have been translated into ten languages and used with groups as diverse as affluent Americans and disadvantaged South Africans. Recently she has been involved in the five research studies on overindulgence.

Clarke won the 1995 Eric Berne Memorial Award in the area of practice applications for her work in applied transactional analysis in parent education. She was designated Distinguished Alumni of the Year 1999 by the Human Ecology Department of the University of Minnesota, and in the year 2001 by the College of Education and Human Development. Her Nurture/Structure Highway is on the University of Minnesota's Wall of Discovery.

She holds a master's degree in Human Development and has an honorary doctorate of Letters and another in Human Services. She is committed to helping families and believes that children's needs are best met by adults whose own needs are met. There is additional information about her on the website www.overindulgence.info.


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