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Growing Yourself Back Up + Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately + The Half-Lived Life: Overcoming Passivity and Rediscovering Your Authentic Self
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Product Details

  • Paperback: 240 pages
  • Publisher: Harmony; 1 edition (January 23, 2001)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0609806416
  • ISBN-13: 978-0609806418
  • Product Dimensions: 8.1 x 5.1 x 0.5 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (30 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #122,150 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Someone pushes your buttons . . . you feel rage . . . fear . . . sweaty palms . . . unbidden tears . . . you feel like a kid . . .

We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general reader, bestselling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.

No adult, explains Lee, need ever experience the helpless feelings of childhood again. Here are his proven methods and visualization exercises, developed in his popular workshops, for recognizing, preventing, and diffusing regression in ourselves and others. He teaches, for example, that adults cannot be abandoned, they can only be left; if we're feeling abandoned we're regressing. He also reminds us that no matter how overwhelmed we are, adults always have options; if we believe we don't, we're in a regression.

Growing Yourself Back Up will show you how to:
* develop strong emotional boundaries and convey them to others
* learn the Detour Method that reverses regression
* confront without regressing
* communicate with the authority figures who push your buttons
* minimize regression at family functions

Lee offers hope--as well as practical strategies that work--for conquering those childlike feelings of powerlessness that are almost always rooted in regression.

About the Author

John Lee is the author of the bestselling Flying Boy series, as well as Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately and Writing from the Body. He lives in Woodstock, Georgia, with his wife, Susan, and conducts workshops around the country.

More About the Author

For most of my career I've been writing self-help and psychology books (24 published), but I have also written fiction.


My latest book, The Half-Lived Life: Overcoming Passivity and Rediscovering Your Authentic Self, came out in 2012 and I'm already working on the next one!


In addition to writing I'm also a public speaker, teacher, consultant and life coach. My areas of expertise are passivity, emotional regression, anger management, recovery, relationships, men's issues, spirituality and creativity.


I've been fortunate enough to have been featured on Oprah 3 times and have also appeared on 20/20, Dr. Oz radio program, The View, CNN, PBS, and NPR.


As a consultant and trainer I've worked with The Betty Ford Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, Hanley Center, Guy's Hospital (London, England), The New York Open Center, South Pacific Hospital (Sydney, Australia), Mountain Area Health and Education Center (North Carolina) and numerous others.


Before becoming a writer I was a professor at the University of Texas and Alabama. I live in Austin, TX with my wife, Susan, and an ever-growing group of animals. We also have a home in Mentone, AL.


If you want more info, please visit my site at www.johnleebooks.com or visit my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/jleemain

Customer Reviews

4.9 out of 5 stars
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So much good information in such a small book.
tigress
This book is absolutely identifies things that we can do to eliminate subconscious behaviors and feelings, and act like the adults we are.
RD44
My husband and children have noticed that change in me ever since I finished reading this book.
99disco1

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

32 of 34 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on August 28, 2001
Format: Paperback
Having been trained in psychology, I am familiar with theories of regression. John Lee brings this concept down to such a practical and real level that I found myself changing without even trying. If you are stuck in patterns of behavior that you know aren't helping, this should provide some real understanding of how to get unstuck. Even my wife of 32 years has commented on the changes in me. I am buying 2 more copies, to give to my adult children. I hope they don't have to be stuck as long as I was.
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29 of 31 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on June 15, 2001
Format: Paperback
Attention, empathy, time, touch and release. These are the five things that John Lee explains will bring you back from regression. These things ring true from my experience. When I'm willing to take a risk, be present, connect with people and let go of old junk I don't get sucked into old family patterns. "Growing Yourself Back Up" is a wonderful book, committed to helping us all spend more time in the here and now and less time in the trances of our past. This book is chock full of tips and techniques for coming back from the past and being present now. It highlights the traps that send us off into regression and gives strategies on how to avoid falling into them. There's quite helpful information about how to confront others while minimizing the risk you'll get verbally abused.
While the information in this book is not rocket science or new technology, it does provide a nice summary of common sense be-in-the-moment assertiveness techniques.
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22 of 23 people found the following review helpful By A Customer on March 20, 2004
Format: Paperback
After many years of study on conflict and peace-making , I was amazed by the usefulness and wonderful information packed into this small book in a readable, easy-to-understand style. This book has lead to more positive life changes than any other book I have encountered. Both my husband and I read it in one afternoon and have used what we learned everyday since and have shared it with many others. A must-read for any person who would like more understanding of interactions with other people and better relationships in all areas of life.
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8 of 9 people found the following review helpful By M. Corrigan on July 22, 2009
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Growing Yourself Back Up by John Lee
I stumbled upon this book by accident; some Men that I know asked if I could go hear a talk with the author. I was busy, so I declined and the flyer of his talk, long lost now, encouraged me to look the author up. I'd forgotten the topic of the flyer, but this book captivated me quickly.

This book was a small and bearable read, meaning the personal work, for me did not seem so emotionally intense. Regression is the reaction we have when something happening in the present triggers a memory in our bodies about something that happened in the past. One of the largest themes was that Adults have choice, where as children we did not. If the triggers are right, adults can be right back in the mind of their prior childhood reacting to the world and feeling helpless with no way out.

John introduces the red flags of regression which are irritations, hurts, and reactions that just sort of pop out all the sudden leaving us shamed, blamed, demeaned, demoralized, criticized, analyzed, preached and taught. One of the takeaways is that if you are the one who is shaming, blaming, demeaning, demoralizing, criticizing, analyzing, preaching, and teaching, you are already regressed. Moving all of these out of the way there is little more to say and take responsibility for is that you are angry.

The causes are many and simple, hence as sentient beings we are in a sense always in some manifestation of regression. For me, the primary Physical symptom is being hungry, but too exhausted for me to fix something to eat. The primary Psychological symptom is loneliness. The solutions are also simple, and do take work on your part.
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5 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Beau Williams on October 8, 2010
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
Excellent; excellent book. First of all, it's the most laymen-friendly book regarding this kind of topic I've ever read. It's not intimidating, aloof or lecturing...in fact, it reads as if you were having a casual discussion with a long-time friend. Second; The examples actually reflect what the author is describing and come from real-life situations - thus, making it far easier for the reader to integrate the knowledge into their own life. Finally, and most importantly; by the time you finish, you come to understand how huge a role regression can play in whatever your personal issues may be - whether it's involves relationships, communication, work-related, or self-image. I had always felt comfortable with my knowledge of this topic, and how it may have affected me, but this allowed me to frame my thoughts in such a way that I'm now converting many of the discussions into exercises to help me get a grip on all of those "demons" which have plauged me all my life. So, while this may not truly amount to "the only self-help book you'll ever really need", if you read this first, all of the others will surely make a lot more sense!
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2 of 2 people found the following review helpful By Trey McClelland on August 16, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
A very easy and straight forward approach to identifying and coping with emotional regression...especially for those who are suffering in that downward spiral. After being in a long term relationship with someone with BPD this book afforded me a new found freedom from the pain and suffering their complicaitons cause. I found this book to be a must read for anyone who is affected by a loved one that suffers with BPD, NPD or Manic-Depression.
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