Growing Yourself Back Up [Paperback]

John Lee (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 23, 2001

Someone pushes your buttons . . . you feel rage . . . fear . . . sweaty palms . . . unbidden tears . . . you feel like a kid . . .

We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general reader, bestselling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.

No adult, explains Lee, need ever experience the helpless feelings of childhood again. Here are his proven methods and visualization exercises, developed in his popular workshops, for recognizing, preventing, and diffusing regression in ourselves and others. He teaches, for example, that adults cannot be abandoned, they can only be left; if we're feeling abandoned we're regressing. He also reminds us that no matter how overwhelmed we are, adults always have options; if we believe we don't, we're in a regression.

Growing Yourself Back Up will show you how to:
* develop strong emotional boundaries and convey them to others
* learn the Detour Method that reverses regression
* confront without regressing
* communicate with the authority figures who push your buttons
* minimize regression at family functions

Lee offers hope--as well as practical strategies that work--for conquering those childlike feelings of powerlessness that are almost always rooted in regression.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

Someone pushes your buttons . . . you feel rage . . . fear . . . sweaty palms . . . unbidden tears . . . you feel like a kid . . .

We've all experienced moments when we lose control of a situation and ourselves. Now, in Growing Yourself Back Up, the first book to explain the idea of emotional regression to the general reader, bestselling author John Lee identifies the circumstances that cause these seemingly uncontrollable feelings and shows how they are directly tied to our experience as children.

No adult, explains Lee, need ever experience the helpless feelings of childhood again. Here are his proven methods and visualization exercises, developed in his popular workshops, for recognizing, preventing, and diffusing regression in ourselves and others. He teaches, for example, that adults cannot be abandoned, they can only be left; if we're feeling abandoned we're regressing. He also reminds us that no matter how overwhelmed we are, adults always have options; if we believe we don't, we're in a regression.

Growing Yourself Back Up will show you how to:
* develop strong emotional boundaries and convey them to others
* learn the Detour Method that reverses regression
* confront without regressing
* communicate with the authority figures who push your buttons
* minimize regression at family functions

Lee offers hope--as well as practical strategies that work--for conquering those childlike feelings of powerlessness that are almost always rooted in regression.

About the Author

John Lee is the author of the bestselling Flying Boy series, as well as Facing the Fire: Experiencing and Expressing Anger Appropriately and Writing from the Body. He lives in Woodstock, Georgia, with his wife, Susan, and conducts workshops around the country.

Product Details

• Paperback: 240 pages
• Publisher: Three Rivers Press; 1 edition (January 23, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0609806416
• ISBN-13: 978-0609806418
• Product Dimensions: 5.2 x 0.5 x 8 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.9 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (19 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #64,072 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)
  • #11 in Books > Self-Help > Inner Child

More About the Author

For most of my career I've been writing self-help and psychology books (22 published), but I have also written fiction.


I have two books coming out this year: The Half-Lived Life (Dec 2011) and Emotional Intelligence For Couples (July 2011).


In addition to writing I'm also a public speaker, teacher, consultant and life coach. My areas of expertise are passivity, emotional regression, anger management, recovery, relationships, men's issues, spirituality and creativity.


I've been fortunate enough to have been featured on Oprah 3 times and have also appeared on 20/20, Dr. Oz radio program, The View, CNN, PBS, and NPR.


As a consultant and trainer I've worked with The Betty Ford Clinic, Cleveland Clinic, Hanley Center, Guy's Hospital (London, England), The New York Open Center, South Pacific Hospital (Sydney, Australia), Mountain Area Health and Education Center (North Carolina) and numerous others.


Before becoming a writer I was a professor at the University of Texas and Alabama. I live in McKinney, TX with my wife, Susan, and an ever-growing group of animals. We also have a home in Mentone, AL.


If you want more info, please visit my site at www.johnleebooks.com or visit my facebook page: http://www.facebook.com/jleemain

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Never too old, August 28, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Growing Yourself Back Up (Paperback)

Having been trained in psychology, I am familiar with theories of regression. John Lee brings this concept down to such a practical and real level that I found myself changing without even trying. If you are stuck in patterns of behavior that you know aren't helping, this should provide some real understanding of how to get unstuck. Even my wife of 32 years has commented on the changes in me. I am buying 2 more copies, to give to my adult children. I hope they don't have to be stuck as long as I was.

23 of 25 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars Good book on how to not live in your past, June 15, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Growing Yourself Back Up (Paperback)

Attention, empathy, time, touch and release. These are the five things that John Lee explains will bring you back from regression. These things ring true from my experience. When I'm willing to take a risk, be present, connect with people and let go of old junk I don't get sucked into old family patterns. "Growing Yourself Back Up" is a wonderful book, committed to helping us all spend more time in the here and now and less time in the trances of our past. This book is chock full of tips and techniques for coming back from the past and being present now. It highlights the traps that send us off into regression and gives strategies on how to avoid falling into them. There's quite helpful information about how to confront others while minimizing the risk you'll get verbally abused.

While the information in this book is not rocket science or new technology, it does provide a nice summary of common sense be-in-the-moment assertiveness techniques.

18 of 19 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Best kept secret and most useful recovery book on the market, March 20, 2004

By A Customer

This review is from: Growing Yourself Back Up (Paperback)

After many years of study on conflict and peace-making , I was amazed by the usefulness and wonderful information packed into this small book in a readable, easy-to-understand style. This book has lead to more positive life changes than any other book I have encountered. Both my husband and I read it in one afternoon and have used what we learned everyday since and have shared it with many others. A must-read for any person who would like more understanding of interactions with other people and better relationships in all areas of life.