Customer Reviews

Guess Who's Coming to Dinner : Celebrating Interethnic, Interfaith, and Interracial Relationships

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I enjoyed reading this book. Anyone who is in a relationship with someone of a different background whether it's religious, racial, or ethnic will appreciate this book. Even individuals who maybe contemplating a relationship that fosters differences will have a better understanding. Subtle differences can enhance or create friction in the relationship. This book celebrate differences. I hope everyone will embrace our differences!

In searching for ways to help me understand my relationship with my Kenyan boyfriend better, I (American) turned to books about intercultural relationships. This was the first one I read. It is very encouraging. It is full of other people's stories and experiences in being in an intercultural relationship. They describe issues that came up in their relationship - some which were expected and some which were total surprises - and how they worked through those issues. They are real life stories, so they don't all live happily ever after.

I enjoyed reading the happy stories of the couples who were able to make their relationships work despite their differences. It was also helpful to know about the couples who did not stay together, and what happened to them that made them end their relationship.

Sensitively written, entertaining read, very informative for those seeking insight particularly on dynamics of black-white relationships. Unfortunately, if you are not in this kind of relationship yourself, much of the rest of the book barely serves but for a token mention, which I read as a disservice to the customer. No book can be all things to all people and the author merits respect for 1) speaking of what she knows (her own relationship) and 2) attempting to report wisdom gleaned from her interviews with other intercultural/ interracial couples. However, a better-aimed advertisement would ensure a better match, e.g. that it is a black-white relationship book, with a smattering of other kinds of international relationships to add perspective. Unfortunately without this kind of caveat upfront, the other interviews come off as a token effort in a book trying to market itself as insightful for most international couples, which it is not, really.

Still it's a difficult subject to broach and the author made an admirable attempt. It needs, perhaps, a companion book, from an equally powerfully expressive author of perhaps another major demographic background (Hispanic? Asian? other?) That, I think would make all the difference.

I watched a PBS special on black white relations and Prof Gates talked about a film with the same title as this book starring Sidney Poitier that he used as a reference when attending Harvard. I thought this book might give helpful advice for those of us in black white relationships.

While the book is an easy read and full of interesting stories, the stories are quite dated and don't really address modern problems. If you ever read Ann Landers' column in the newspaper and can recall the WWII how-we-met stories, then you'll enjoy this book as the couples interviewed seem to have married in the 50's and early 60's. As life is substantially different now, I didn't find any of the stories helpful. In fact, in an age where people research each other on Facebook, then Google each other for criminal records, then date as friends with benefits, then agree to live together for a few years before agreeing to marriage, these stories of couples marrying on a whim then whining later about blatantly fundamental conflicts but gainfully trying to make it work anyway only to eventually throw in the towel and of course behave badly during the divorce just look childish.

I was hoping for something more insightful such as I'm a minority surrounded by the majority so although I am aware of both worlds, my partner is not. How do I share my world? or the opposite, I'm a minority surrounded by the majority but so locked into my world that I really am oblivious to the majority world. My partner feels neglected when I don't share his world but why should I? Unfortunately, this book addresses neither concern.

My friend wrote a research paper on marriages that indicated that mixed race couples had the highest rate of divorce but the numbers referenced in this book dispute that. It would be helpful to know exactly how high the mountain top is before beginning the climb.