If you're like most parents, you long to raise your children as pirates but just don't know how. In "Guide to Pirate Parenting," Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall provides everything you need to know to turn your little powder monkeys into happy, healthy buccaneers. In Guide to Pirate Parenting you'll learn: . Ten benefits of raising a pirate . At what age your child should be able to remove a bottle cap by taking out his glass eye and using his eye socket as an opener . Which offense requires administering The Flying Dutchman Wedgie . How to prevent sogging the quartermaster . The best place to maroon your disobedient child . How to remove chewing gum or a giant octopus from your child's hair . The difference between plundering and pillaging . How to convert your minivan into a pirate schooner . When to smack your teenager in the side of the head with an oar Each information-packed section ends with "Your pirate's progress," a short quiz that shows whether your child is reaching his or her pirate development milestones.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
2.0 out of 5 stars
Sad Attempt by a Poser Pirate,
By Elderghod "Alex" (Connecticut) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Guide to Pirate Parenting (Paperback)
While somewhat researched and offering some fun and useful tips, as a Pirate-themed book I was left disappointed and wishing for more. This book, my friends, is a decent rough draft of a good idea someone had and then didn't follow through with. The reviews made it seem awesome. The reality bored me to death. Ah, what could have been. If I get the itch, I'll write the proper edition. For fans of Pirates, I'd say steer clear. For everyone else who doesn't mind a lame pirate joke... go for it.
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
4.0 out of 5 stars
I Laughed Out Loud,
This review is from: Guide to Pirate Parenting (Paperback)
Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's Guide To Pirate Parenting
By Tim Bete Copyright 2007 Tim Bete Published by Cold Tree Press Our hero, Tim Bete, sits at the bar where he meets, Cap'n Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall. While Cap'n Billy regales him with stories of high sea adventure, and bilge rat extermination, Tim let's it slip that he's a writer. Our favorite diaperless father is offered the chance of a lifetime. "I'm going to tell you how to raise kids to be pirates and you're going to put it all in a book." While the offer doesn't immediately show great promise, Tim's alternative of walking the plank is a most effective stimulant to accept. What ensues is a hilarious evenings read. Leave it to Tim to convince me we missed a great opportunity to raise our kids as pirates. Thank goodness we now have grandchildren to correct the transgression. Not having the minivan mentioned in Tim's book, we're making plans to convert the deck to a pirate schooner. I can't wait to see the look on Preacher's face the first time Joshua "Pink Eye" Barnes calls him a land lubber. You'll love this funny take on child rearing. I just have one warning, set the rum aside as you read, especially if you are near any open flames. Spit-takes can be dangerous. Renee' Barnes [...]
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful:
5.0 out of 5 stars
Fun and Laughter Abound in Pirate Parenting!,
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This review is from: Guide to Pirate Parenting (Paperback)
With the popularity of movies like Pirates of the Caribbean, and the daily insanity involved parenting kids, it didn't take long for humor author Tim Bete to put it all together in his latest book Cap'N Billy "The Butcher" MacDougall's Guide to Pirate Parenting.
Keeping a sense of humor is vital to every mom and dad's success in the wild adventure of parenting. And Bete does it best. "Most parents have been on the wrong end of a mutiny at one time or another" says Bete, "My book teaches parents every aspect of pirate growth and development - from baby pirate care through the teen years - so their kids can become self-respecting swashbucklers of the high seas or suburbs." I have often said that my kids are like Picky Eater Pirates, pillaging and plundering the joy from our family dinners with words like "Yuck!" and statements like "What is THAT?" Up until now, I just thought I was the only one raising pirates! It's so good to k know I'm not alone out here on the salty seas! If you haven't slept through the night in years, are awakened by someone standing 2 inches from your face breathing on your nose, and spend your days using a hook and pulley system to get over the Mount Everest pile of dirty laundry on your floors, then you need to learn to laugh at life. Chuckle at the daily stresses and demands of parenting. And Guide to Pirate Parenting is for YOU! In that laughter, you might just find the strength to get out of bed each day and face the morning without Lucky Charms in the pantry. Trish Berg Author of: The Great American Supper Swap - Solving the Busy Woman's Family Dinnertime Dilemma and Rattled: Surviving Your Baby's First Year Without Losing Your Cool
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