Guiding Your Child Through Grief [Paperback]

James P. Emswiler (Author), Mary Ann Emswiler (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: August 1, 2000

Give your child the help and support needed to cope with grief and loss.

Guiding Your Child Through Grief, by the founders of the New England Center for Loss & Transition and The Cove, a highly praised program for grieving children, takes away the uncertainty and helpless feelings we commonly feel as we reach out to children who mourn. This caring and compassionate guide offers expert advice during difficult days to help a child grieve the death of a parent or sibling. Based on their experience as counselors--and as parents of grieving children--the authors help readers to understand:


The many ways children grieve, often in secret
Changes in family dynamics after death--and straightforward, effective ways to ease the transition
Ways to communicate with children about death and grief
How to cope with the intense sorrow triggered by holidays
The signs grief has turned to depression--and where to find help
And more insights, information, and advice that can
help a child heal

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

"When death occurs in a family, all hell breaks loose," note the Emswilers, founders and directors of The Cove, a program for grieving children and their families, and of the New England Center for Loss & Transition. Beginning with the wrenching tale of how James lost his first wife to an unexpected heart attack, the book is threaded with his own personal experience in helping himself and his three children navigate through their shared grief, as well as with the firsthand accounts of others. The book's eminent practicality and compassionate, down-to-earth tone make it an invaluable handbook: from dealing with the initial shock to identifying typical reactions to death by age group and achieving the "three goals" of family grieving: reestablishing stability, acknowledging the experience of loss individually and collectively, and supporting each member in his or her efforts to start growing again. The authors provide comfort through frank communication, sagely noting that grief education is often neglected because of "the misconception that the more kids know, the more they'll experience." They also discuss the special challenges of remarrying and of step-parenting grieving children (which the Emswilers have done successfully). Tips for school personnel, health-care professionals and a suggested age-appropriate reading list round out the volume. Thoroughly researched and bolstered with the wisdom of bereavement experts nationwide, this fine guide does those working through the loss of loved ones an enormous service. It should rank amongst the first line of defense and support for those facing a death in the family. (Aug.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

From Library Journal

Guiding Your Child Through Grief is written by a husband-and-wife team and based on their experiences as founders of The Cove (a program for grieving children) and the New England Center for Loss & Transition as well as their own personal experiences with grief. This well-researched book covers all ages, including the teenage years. The appendixes provide an excellent suggested reading section divided into categories by age group and another section on tips for school personnel. Both books offer useful advice in small, digestible chunks, including many bulleted lists, and would be a useful addition to any public library. The scholarly quality of Guiding Your Child Through Grief also makes it appropriate for academic collections.DAnnette Haines, Central Michigan Univ. Libs.
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc.

See all Editorial Reviews

Product Details

• Paperback: 304 pages
• Publisher: Bantam; 1 edition (August 1, 2000)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0553380257
• ISBN-13: 978-0553380255
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.6 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 12 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 5.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (7 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #101,456 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

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Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 15 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars This was the book I was looking for..., November 28, 2001

By A Customer

This review is from: Guiding Your Child Through Grief (Paperback)

...when I lost my wife. I looked for two hours in the bookstore before I found this, and I found a lot of books that sandwiched children's grief reactions to death with grief reactions to divorce, moving, etc. I was looking for something specific, not being sure how to help my daughter when I felt I was being crushed under my own grief. I read the first few pages, where Jim Emswiler describes the death of his first wife, and I knew I had found what I was looking for. This book never did disappoint.

If you need it, this is, in my opinion, THE book for families with grieving children.

19 of 20 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A holistic approach to childhood grief!, August 23, 2000

By 

Edwin Ciolkosz (Manchester, CT USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Guiding Your Child Through Grief (Paperback)

The much anticipated book about child/adolescent grief by the Emswilers deserves a place in the library of anyone who works with young children and teens. Experiencing the deep loss of a loved one is a frightening, confusing experience for children and parents. Sharing their years of personal insights and anecdotes in dealing with grieving youth, this book proceeds beyond the basics of childhood grief and explains how grief affects the family, how to communicate with grieving children, creating and using "holding communities", and rituals that might help. They take us through the minefield of adolescent grief and provide critical information that will help you help your teens deal with grief. They reassure us to "be patient and don't worry, they do come back." This easy-to-read, down-to-earth, sometimes humorous book also delves into dealing with issues that are oftentimes not addressed, such as complicated mourning, caring for care givers, step parenting a grieving child, and tips for teachers and health professionals. There is also a questions and answer section and an excellent bibliography for further readings. This is an important reference I'm sure care givers will access for help throughout the childhood years.

11 of 11 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Compassionate and practical help for grieving families, July 15, 2001

By 

Carol Watkins "Psychiatrist" (Parkton, Maryland, USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Guiding Your Child Through Grief (Paperback)

This is an excellent book for parents of children dealing with all phases of loss. They explain how children of different ages perceive death in different ways.

The authors go beyond the basics. They give specific advice on how to talk to children about different types of death including cancer, suicide and murder. They discuss different ways to rebuild after the loss. I particularly liked the section on stepparenting the grieving child.

The Emswilers balance illuminating vignettes with theory and advice. The chapters are organized so that one can pick and choose, based on one's particular needs.