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Guilt Is Good: What Working Moms Need

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"Mommy, do you have to go to work?" This question from a four-year old to his mother, a successful executive, was the impetus for "Guilt Is Good: What Working Moms Need To Know...The executive was a patient -- and the first working mom she helped get over a guilt trip. Savikas doesn't suggest you try to deny your guilt. Instead, she says, put it to good use. "We view our guilt as a negative emotion, but guilt presents us with an opportunity to change." The first step toward change, says Savikas, is becoming aware of the messages you grew up with about a mother's role. "We've developed a set of myths about the perfect mom, such as, 'She always has time for her kids.'""Take a look at the expectations that lead to your guilt. Are they realistic? Are they based on someone else's values or your own?" Try to avoid guilt that "scolds," says Savikas. This unforgiving voice only makes you feel bad about yourself. It might say, "What kind of mother would snap at her kid?" Guilt that "coaches" on the other hand, "points out that something needs to be fixed." It might say,"I thought you were going to rest." To stop the guilt that scolds, Savikas suggests balancing negative thoughts with positive ones. Instead of chastising yourself for yelling at your kids, you might say, "Next time, this is what I'm planning to do better." Savikas doesn't enter into the debate about whether mothers should work outside the home. But she does encourage women to explore career options without worrying they'll harm the kids. "It's normal to want time away from your children, and it's good to have time to yourself," she says. "If you're feeling bad about yourself, you project that negative energy onto your kids."

Perfect book for all moms whether they work outside of the house or not. I give this book as a gift at baby showers and when my pals go back to work after being at home with their kids. Perfect for moms AND dads. You need to have a life-- you're family will benefit and Dr. Savikas, a psychologist and arbitrator knows how you can create one. Fun cartoons and stories and tips are perfect for understanding how you can go back to work and use guilt to your advantage. Belongs on every bookshelf in every office worldwide. A great communicator, Savikas knows what she writes. Don't miss this book!