Customer Reviews

No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks: The Tales of a San Francisco Cab Driver

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He eats Cheerios after getting home at 5:30 a.m. What no Maui Wowie? No London Iced Tea? He dutifully calls his girlfriend. Well, actually they aren't that friendly. (The girlfriend is an untold story.) He doesn't do anything or report on anything or do more than allude to anything but driving a cab. And he's very serious about the money. And the tips, and how to get them and how you can blow them off. He gives us the meter to the penny, and reports on the tip to the dime. But you can tell he really doesn't care. He worries about getting mugged and barfed on. He's patience and tolerant. But he's always smelling things. He looks for a dump in the backseat of his cab after some smelly guy has left. He can't find it. So he drives to a more lighted spot and searches some more. Nothing. Maybe he's losing it. His mind.

It's hard to tell at the beginning whether this is a memoir or a reportage. It reads like a string of closely related vignettes. But there is something holding it together. Hard to tell what it is. Except for the cab and The City and the derelicts and the poseurs and the transvestites and the drunks and the old people and the fat people and the night and the lights and the fear. Fear of guns and knives, or fear of being trapped in the job? He isn't sure. He tells himself he's driving a cab for the experience, to get material for The Novel. It's a sick world out there in the inner city. People are weird. He's taking notes and transcribing them when he gets home, turning it into Fiction.

He has a hero. Supercabman--himself. And he's a good hero, a cabbie psychologist and a wordsmith with a sharp satirical eye. He sizes people up, notes what they're wearing from their black leather pants to the grease spots on their shirts to their nose rings and bad teeth and bad breath and bad dye jobs, and how they are comporting themselves. Especially how they are comporting themselves. He has to. At three a.m. you don't want to make a mistake. Somebody's waving you down. Does he want a ride or your wad of bills? Hard to tell sometimes. Supercabman sees the city and it denizens without pity but then again with a minimum of judgment.

The cab's computer beeps messages. Sometimes he sends one himself. It sets off car alarms of nearby cars (ha, ha). He has his "cab policies." No smoking. That's tough. He pretends he's on the nicotine patch for commiseration. He has nicotine gum on the dash. Also pepper spray. (No plastic Jesus, though.) He knows how to small talk with the clientele and when Not to Ask and when to shut up. He's shrewd and cynical. Larry Sager is also one heck of a writer. Here's a bit from the "Safe Sex" chapter:

"Circling back and forth between a few different South of Market establishments finally turns up some stragglers: three men coming out of a popular gay bar, THE STUD on Harrison Street. One guy, who could easily pass as a bouncer, is wearing a bright bleached white tank-top tee shirt emphasizing his steroid-induced muscular build--6'3" and at least 225 pounds. His two companions climb into the back seat. One guy could be a GQ model; his partner sports the escaped-convict look--head shaved, beard unshaven, dressed in a Goth black shirt and black pants. And someone, pray tell, has taken several sharp metallic objects and run them straight through his face. It looks painful, but doesn't seem to bother him. Of the group, I spotted him first and I wasn't going to stop. But when GQ playfully grabbed the metal-pierced escaped-convict's buttocks, and both seemed to enjoy the routine, realized they were together and figured they were a safe pick-up. If anyone looking like Thug is flagging me from a ragged street corner in the Tenderloin, I do NOT stop." (p. 99)

The real strength of the book is in the sharp observations that Sager's alter ego makes about his passengers and himself. A nice technique is for him say one thing and think another, or to reply directly in his head to something somebody has said, but not aloud, as in this exchange with a really, really BAD painter who has just shown him her canvas which he notes to himself is "hideous awful":

"I still have some touching up to do," she says, as if expecting to hear an objection
from me regarding her own "harsh" criticism.

How about touching it up with kerosene and putting a match to it?

"Oh," I nod instead, pursing my lips tightly. (p. 214)

There are some nice line drawings by Shanon Essex and one by Emil of some of the characters to grace the text. I think Sager might have intended this opus originally as journalism, but found as he wrote the improvised dialogue (both interior and exterior) and the flights of fancy he took with some of the characters, that this story of a time in his life was better told as fiction.

Finally I have to note that this IS a novel however episodically constructed, and a very clever and original one, because suddenly there is an ending that catches us by surprise. Suddenly there is a denouement in the last chapter as he lets a passenger take over his cab. Suddenly the novel is over and we see the point of all that has gone before. There are a few solitary whiskeys, a phone call to the offstage girlfriend, a bit of haziness and then the end to an experience.

What a delightful read! It only takes a few pages to realize that Larry Sager is quite an exceptional writer and story teller. The title of the books sort of tells it all, "The Tales of a San Francisco Cab Driver." This is just what you get and you have it served up, as I said, by a master story teller. The plot of this so called (by the author) "novel" has pretty well been hashed over here, so suffice to say that this is a collection of stories of the adventures of a taxi driver in a very unique city, his interactions with the characters he meets and his reaction to these characters. Actually, great stuff here. I truly feel though, that the strength of this book lies in the author's ability as a writer. This covers several areas.

First, Mr. Sager uses a technique with his dialogue that is absolutely fascinating. While it has been done before, this author has refined it and, to be truthful, has done it better than any other writer I have recently read. Most of these dialogues include at least three people, the author, the customer and thirdly, the author's thoughts. What I mean by this is that the author records what he actually says to the current passenger in his cab, what the passenger says and then includes what, he, the author, is actually thinking. There is a danger here of confusion, but the author pulls it off brilliantly. In fact, he is able to do this even when there are two, three and even more individuals in the conversation. This technique has been mastered in this work. I have never seen it done better.

Secondly, the author's descriptive abilities are great. You can actually see, in your mind, the individuals he is talking to at any given moment, see and feel the surroundings and even smell the smells. Close attention to detail and an excellent command of the language by the writer, enable the reader to join the author and almost feel like an unseen party as he tells his stories.

Thirdly, the author has a keen, somewhat sardonic, and always wiry sense of humor. His ability to assess people, situations, and indeed, himself, is quite remarkable. In short, he, the author, is funny!

Last, but certainly not least, we have with this work, a wonderful slice and view of a great city. We get the feel of the place, the good and the bad. We learn of its people, customs and unique place in our culture.

As a personal note; I have been fortunate enough to have lived, traveled and visited most of our major U.S. cities over the past 50 or so years, and indeed, quite a few outside the country, from Istanbul to Bangkok and points in between. I despise large cities, ergo, I chose to live in the hills here in the Ozarks now, but that being said, I am also fascinated by large cities and their people. Having visited San Francisco, I felt like I was on a revisit and did enjoy it. Each city is different, each city is the same. It is great to have such a good sketch of this one.

If you are looking for a great bit of writing, an enjoyable read and some wonderful story telling, then this one is certainly for you. Recommend this one highly. Hope we see much, much more from Sager in the future.

It is no surprise that Larry Sager's new book, "No Guns, No Knives..." won the Benjamin Franklin Award, as it is unique, written with charm, wit and humour, but also shows us a glut of characters (very strange individuals) one meets on a cabby's beat. Whether Sager used "poetic licence" to beef up some of his tales really makes no difference because his style is conversational, with excellent down to earth descriptions and visual characterizations.

To write simplistically with attention to detail and pull it off with such flair is good American writing. This is a great skill, a style of realistic writing that looks easy but when you attempt it, can be extremely difficult. This is a style that American's developed beginning with Poe, Twain, Hemingway, Fitzgerald and Carver - adverbs & adjectives are sparsely used - clean, transparent and most importantly, entertaining.

As a struggling musician, Sager needed to earn cash to enable him to develop his art form. The cab business was as good as any: work at night, do the real work during the day. (Let me just add that there are no "over night successes", only hard work at one's craft over many years and a bit of good luck makes "success", that is to say, making a living from one's art.) Sager seems to have done it hard as a cabby, because it is said, that driving a cab is a more dangerous profession than police work. After reading this collection of short tales about his various encounters, one can understand why.

Similar to comedy overall, (and this book is funny) there is always a hint of tragedy under the surface. For example we can make jokes about certain individuals like presidents, dead presidents, only after a particular amount of time has passed, otherwise, it's simply bad taste and in most cases, never funny.

Not all of Sager's stories are meant to be funny but show the human condition in all its absolute absurdity: "The Pharmacy" is one such example.

If you need an interesting & entertaining, light read, pick this book up -it is well-written and an engaging ride on a cabby's nightly beat.

No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks: The Tales of a San Francisco Cab Driver offers up a blend of suspense, eclectic humor, and true-life scenarios - but it's fiction - based on a San Francisco cab driver's colorful characters. From drunk stripper lesbians in the back seat to stolen cabs and cigarette abstinance, this offers up a set of hard-hitting, authentic vignettes documenting not just any cab driver's life, but a slice of San Francisco culture. A fun 'must' for any who would understand the city's neighborhoods, counter-culture, characters and cabbies!

Diane C. Donovan
California Bookwatch

Witty, intriguing, and funny, Larry Sager has written a true, first hand look at cab driving using his own experiences in San Francisco. When starting the book, don't skip the introduction. Also, take a peek at the Glossary Of Terms at the end of the book, recommended before starting. It introduces cab terms (and others) in Sager's humoristic style.

Each chapter is a unique encounter with certain passengers. A 'Fare', in cabbie terms. Often smelly, angry, drunk, obnoxious, dangerous, partying, confused, ignorant, broke, in a hurry, talkative, snide, or occasionally happy, these are the people that cab drivers encounter daily. Larry Sager worked the night shift in San Francisco, exposed to the worst of the entire lot of locals and tourists. This book is a true study in human nature, mostly the bad side of it.

But despite his strange fares, Sager has kept his humor. Each chapter displays his wit as he tells his tales of humanity. My favorite chapters are The Cat Woman, Bambalone, Call Mom, Blood-No Guts, I Took A Bullet, Friends Like That, The Painter, And Madelyn Too, and A Smelly Guy.

You don't really think about what a cab driver endures until you read this book; poo on the seats, vomit, body odor, spit, insistent smokers, bad perfumes, and bad behavior in general. Plus it's a dangerous job.

The book is well written and well laid out; choosing to make chapters of each incident was brilliant. Some chapters are long and others short enough for one page. It breaks apart the stories quite well. Sager's fictional style of writing works extremely well in this true account tale. There's a great introduction at the beginning, and at the end is a modified map of Sager's territory along with a funny Glossary Of Terms. Overall, this is a highly entertaining book that will appeal to both fiction and non-fiction readers. I highly recommend it. Enjoy!

Like some latter day Mark Twain, Larry Sager gives a hilarious, first-person account of his exploits as a San Francisco cab driver in the 1990s. It's a gripping, fascinating look at San Francisco's nocturnal life from a cab driver who has the keen eyes of some Raymond Chandleresque private eye and the fine prose of a latter day Mark Twain. Sager ventures forth on the same literary landscape of not only Twain, but some might argue too, P. G. Wodehouse (with a more earthy, darker comedic spin), in his sharp, often witty, depictions of his passengers. We meet everyone from irate Italian tourists in search of a fine young prostitute to spend the night to broken hearted gay and lesbian passengers fleeing the scene of their latest romantic disaster. Sager recounts these tales not only with fine descriptive detail, but with ample empathy for his assorted, varied lot of passengers. If you ever wondered what it must be like being a cab driver in a big American city like San Francisco, then you'll find out by reading "No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks: The Tales of a San Francisco Cab Driver".

Anyone who's driven a cab has a collection of stories to tell, but not every cabbie is a writer. Larry Sager is, fortunately for us, and his collection of tales of driving a cab in San Francisco is eminently readable. The characters are familiar to anyone who's travelled through a big city- big shots, the poor, prostitutes, junkies, drunks, tourists, the lonely, the confused- they're all here. Sager's narrative style keeps it interesting, as he jumps between dialogue with his customers, his own internal monologue, and the incessant (and sometimes bizzare) messages coming from the cab company.

Sage calls his book a novel- he says, in the preface, that it is "intended as a work of fiction." That takes care of the legal nicities, but is this fiction, fictionalized history, or, Jack Webb used to say, a story in which only the names have been changed to protect the innocent? It really doesn't matter. It's good writing and good reading, and that's what counts. One little complaint: The typesetting is a bit on the amateurish side, and reminds me of what we used to call "MacPapers" when I taught at the university. A plea to the authors sending camera-ready copy to your publisher: Pay a little to have someone go over the typography, okay? Spaces between paragraphs make the text more readable, and using cartoon-like fonts for emphasis never works as well as you think it will. We readers will thank you.

But that's a small point, and doesn't significantly diminish the pleasure of reading this book. I'm hoping we see more from Sager in the future.

I drive a school bus and I thought I had tales to tell!! HA! This book makes me glad I do drive a school bus and not a taxi! Although I must admit that some of the characters do sound like they could be the parents of some of the kids I drive, heheh. But this book is a romp. I devoured it in 2 days and was sad when it finally came to an end.
I wanted more. Definately a keeper, and I can understand why Mr Sager won an award for this delightful book. Well done! :)

Larry Sager has made the best of a temporary situation when he, by force of cash need, signed up for the life and trials (and rich fodder for writing!) as a cab driver on the streets and hills of San Francisco. Sager has a rich background even beyond the scope of his current topic: he is a professional musician, a man who renovates those glorious San Francisco Victorians, and a member of the Black Professions - he is a lawyer. He is well schooled in writing and in film making, all of which add layers to the backbone of his foray into night cab driving adventures.

Sager's 'novel' is a matter of episodes in which he shares some of the dark humor and underbelly of life in San Francisco's night streets. For those who have watched late night television, some of the flavor of this book is similar to the camera-rigged cabs that act as Candid Camera to hookers, drunks, belligerent folks, and lovable sorts that just happen to pop in the available cab door. But where Sager beats the competition in this field is not his superb recounting of dialog from the varied passengers, but rather in his wise and fairly often shared sub rosa thoughts as he grapples with danger, disgust, human excrement, and fear. It is all told with great aplomb and each story is molded far better than mere recounting of incidents.

If there is a flaw in this book, for this reader that flaw is the comic book style of incidental illustrations by Shanon Essex. One wishes Sager had either gone all the way as a comic book or edited out the cartoons and even worse the drawn words that pepper the paragraphs. They are disruptive to the flow and make the book feel amateur - which it most certainly is not. Next time, and it seems certain there will be another book to come, perhaps Sager will have more confidence in his keen observations, reportage, an writing skills and leave the cartoons for other uses. Grady Harp, September 07

In the course of a long and varied job history, Larry Sager drove a taxi cab in San Francisco in the 1990s. Intended as a temporary respite from a struggling music career, Sager landed the coveted night shift, driving 10-hour stints for Yellow Cab. And so he became a sympathetic ear, con man, tour guide, and figurative punching bag for the populace of the City by the Bay. Sager relates his experiences behind the wheel with humor and attitude in "No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks". Ten black-and-white illustrations by Shanon Essex give Sager's taxi cab adventures a graphic punch.

The stream of colorful customers and sociological observations are no surprise. Naïve tourists, prostitutes, johns, drunks, no-shows, and non-pays are all here in vivid, perturbed prose. Ubiquitous jaywalkers, roguish efforts to elicit tips from smokers in Sager's non-smoking cab, and a computer that sets off car alarms are unexpected gems that never fail to amuse. And the author is occasionally as ornery as his passengers are inebriated. Sager's parade of fares could read like a catalog of dysfunction. But "No Guns, No Knives, No Personal Checks" is brisk and enjoyable enough that it doesn't bog down in its cast's troubles.