The Guru Looked Good [Paperback]

Marta Szabo (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: January 30, 2009

This is a personal memoir of over ten years spent in a Siddha Yoga ashram, a yogic monastery. Marta describes clearly what drew her into the movement, what working closely to the guru was like, and how she came to move away from the organization. It is a revealing behind-the-scenes look at a major international spiritual organization written with skill and artistry.

Product Details

• Paperback: 408 pages
• Publisher: Tinker Street Press (January 30, 2009)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 057800626X
• ISBN-13: 978-0578006260
• Product Dimensions: 6 x 0.9 x 9 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.4 pounds (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 3.7 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (24 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #1,301,429 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Marta Szabo is the author of the memoirs The Guru Looked Good and The Imposters. she is co-director of Authentic Writing, a memoir-writing studio founded in 1993. Marta co-founded The Memoir Festival, which she curates and hosts at The Omega Institute. You can find her most recent writing at Experiments in Memoir online. Marta lives with her husband, the writer Fred Poole, in Woodstock, NY and a number of much loved animals.

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 48 people found the following review helpful

4.0 out of 5 stars Essential Reading March 19, 2009

By Lucid 2009

Format:Paperback

Marta Szabo's The Guru Looked Good is essential reading for anyone once involved in Siddha Yoga, a similar spiritual group, movement or organization they questioned, corporate culture, or dysfunctional relationships where they gave their power away, betrayed themselves or felt betrayed.

Without knowing anything about me personally, Szabo clarified most of the nagging questions I'd had about the organization - I was involved in Siddha Yoga for over fifteen years and know friends and family who were involved much longer - and helped me put together a puzzle I believed unsolvable. Szabo brilliantly lays bare (without pointing fingers or attacking anyone else's "experience") the dysfunction festering at the core of Siddha Yoga, and the troubling dynamics surrounding it's charismatic leader.

In the past, almost everything I'd ever read about Siddha Yoga that was "critical" (mainly the magazine articles in the 1990s, in particular The New Yorker piece, O Guru, Guru, Guru by Lis Harris) seemed laced with a nastiness that felt personal and led me to question the motives of the authors. Szabo's book is the opposite - not an attack against an organization but rather one individual's personal account.

In a straightforward, here's-my-story-draw-your-own-conclusions way, Szabo inspired me look back at my own experience with Siddha Yoga and trust teh things I'd always felt intuitively but couldn't articulate - suspicions and secrets I'd buried as successfully as Siddha Yoga had buried the truth of its own history.

Szabo helped me finally reconcile the disparity that was always present between my own personal experience (which was overwhelmingly positive) and the things about Siddha Yoga "the organization" that continued to gnaw in my gut. As I read TGLG, the things I'd hidden from myself and things Siddha Yoga had concealed rose to the surface and came together. After I finished TGLG I felt a combination of deep sadness and great relief.

Szabo's memoir will also be of particular interest to those who were damaged, abused or oppressed as children - and then later sought ways, successful or not, to make sense of themselves, to escape or heal through their relationships, spiritual seeking, drug use, or work in the world.

Speaking as someone previously involved, it has been interesting to note in recent years how Siddha Yoga's once center-stage-in-the-spiritual-community presence has gradually tiptoed off into the wings, and is now heading for the exit - perhaps due to the fact that so much of what Szabo exposes (by simply telling her own story) finally caught up with them.

13 of 15 people found the following review helpful

2.0 out of 5 stars The book looked interesting. The yoga worked. March 7, 2012

By WYY

Format:Paperback

The booked looked interesting. It was okay. As someone who has spent time in Siddha Yoga I was interested in a personal, inside account of someone's experience. And that's what I got. On a personal level I enjoyed it but I wouldn't recommend it unless you've got some experience of the setting, scene and theme.

It's obvious from the beginning of the story that the author is dealing with low self-esteem and involves herself in the ashram life in an attempt to escape rather than overcome her issues. In the end she runs away from her escape to begin where she left off and seems to blame her place of refuge for her delusion rather than taking responsibility. The author's tone has an undercurrent of bitterness and complacent naivety throughout.

The writing style is frank and open but the point seems lost. The story takes the reader into the middle of the authors life but never comes to any sort of purposeful recognition. It's a bit bland in that way. At the same time, it conveys clearly how the writer felt within her ashram life; lost. A lot of people will resonate with that, especially those who've walked on a spiritual path.

The title suggests that the guru did something wrong; that she "looked" good but was "bad". The story shows no such thing. I understand that there are a lot of stories out there about the dark side of Siddha Yoga. Some of which may be true, I don't know. But in TGLG there is no ground for this reasoning. The title is misleading in this way. The author was welcomed into the ashram, having no money and few skills to offer. She was housed, fed, valued and trained and almost always given what she asked for. What she wanted and didn't get was the kind of experiences and relationship she wanted, things that cannot be manufactured. It's obvious in the book that she is confused and bitter about the social positions and close relationships of others. In any case she comes out of the ashram with 10 years of relevant work/life experience, having had trips to India and California, a new computer, and a lot more self-awareness. So she didn't have the mystical experiences that so many have had while practicing yoga. These are experiences that happen to some and not to others, they can't be engineered by living a certain place with a certain teacher. Still, most of what she describes as her devotional experience is full of love and respect. The reader is left wondering if something went wrong of if she just got bored and came out of her infatuation. Infatuation is always full of expectation and projections that are unrealistic and even dangerous; coming out of infatuation is always disappointing.

Westerners generally get involved in yoga for the wrong reason, looking for a kind of big self-help group. If Siddha Yoga went wayward in any way it was probably pandering to this desire for too long. Yoga is a practice for recognition of the essence of being that is the source and substratum of the universe. It is about realization of our true nature. If you know what you're looking for you're more likely to find it. I'm not sure the author knew what she was looking for. Although we'd all like to find a nice social environment that will fulfill our hopes and dreams, it's unfair to expect an ashram to deliver a utopian experience of love and acceptance. That's just not what it's about. A guru's world is not different than the rest of the world, the purpose is just more clear. There are bound to be power-plays and ego dynamics in such a place. At this point in the western history of yoga there have been enough scandals to indicate that one should be clear, conscious and wise in how they involve themselves in spiritual circles with powerful leadership. If there is major point to be gleaned from this book it is that.

18 of 23 people found the following review helpful

5.0 out of 5 stars Honest and unputdownable April 2, 2009

By Charles R. Woods

Format:Paperback

Memoirs are a dime a dozen these days, and many are riddled with mistruths and fantasy, but this book kept me turning the pages. First of all, there was this honest voice, a woman searching for herself, exploring her human nature. And then I realized that what compelled me was the authenticity of the writing. I'd had similar spiritual adventures, so I found myself identifying with the search. I felt as though I was in those meditation rooms and the retreat center, experiencing those moments of joy and questioning, power and powerlessness. It was one of the more remarkable reading experiences I've had lately, and I'm grateful to have read it. I'm happy to have this forum to extol its many genuine moments.