In a suburban community, a young child struggles with a dysfunctional family and a brilliant therapist creates a profound method to help others to be happy. They happen to live next door to each other. Annie s mother hides in her room or disappears for days at a time. Annie s grandmother thinks Annie should never have been born. Her father has abandoned them. Everyone in Annie s life is unhappy and Annie is learning to follow in their footsteps. But Annie notices there is something different about her neighbor. He seems full of joy, warmth and love. Even though suffering from a serious illness, he spends his days helping others to be happy. People come from all over just to talk with him. Annie wants to know what his secret is. The Guru Next Door: A Teacher s Legacy brings the spirit of personal development expert Bruce Di Marsico s revolutionary concept the Option Method --to the masses. This remarkable book shares both the author s experience with the essence of the man and the thinking behind his reflective teachings. Many of Di Marsico s own unique writings and teachings are interwoven throughout this fictional tale. The result is an entertaining and spellbinding illustration of how loving and nonjudgmental questions can reveal secrets within all of us that lead to profound happiness.
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Review
A fascinating, heart-opening book! --Dr. Joe Vitale, author, The Attractor Factor
This charming and thought-provoking book tells the story of a young girl named Annie and her journey to adulthood, independence and happiness...A worthy and worthwhile read. --Michael Neill, author, You Can Have What You Want and Feel Happy Now!
This charming and thought-provoking book tells the story of a young girl named Annie and her journey to adulthood, independence and happiness...A worthy and worthwhile read. --Michael Neill, author, You Can Have What You Want and Feel Happy Now!
About the Author
Wendy Dolber has been involved in Option Method training and consultation since the early 1970s. She was associated with Bruce Di Marsico for more than 25 years as his student, associate, and close friend. She is Director of Dialogues In Self Discovery Center for The Option Method.
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Most Helpful Customer Reviews
9 of 10 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I never had the good fortune to meet Bruce Di Marsico, a noted psychotherapist, teacher and creator of the Option Method but through Wendy Dolber's efforts in "The Guru Next Door" I feel as though I have had a personal encounter with that very special human being. Ms. Dolber's character development is such that I feel as if I had met and made friends with Bruce Di Marsico and his protégé Annie, both very much worth the effort of getting to know.
Told through the medium of Annie, one of Dr. Di Marsico's neighbors, as she grows from toddler to womanhood the reader is exposed to the wit, wisdom and ineffably compassionate and loving presence of a man whose life's work has been - to put it simply - the increase of human happiness and the elimination of unhappiness. Annie, the novel's voice, is the loveable, bright child of a profoundly dysfunctional and unhappy family: a masochistic, self-immersed mother, a domineering, esteem-eating grandmother and an absent and unreachable father. Already set by her family on a trajectory that would surely leave her a psychic casualty, Annie experiences a series of encounters with Bruce which change her thinking about herself and her surroundings, her beliefs about her right to happiness, and, ultimately, the course of her life.
This is a valuable book. Not simply an artfully written, delightfully engaging novel but a cornucopia of practical teachings about the nature of happiness, its absence and its attainability through an active, conscious choice, The Guru Next Door is one of the most important and inspiring (as well as fun and captivating) works that I have read in a very long time. Thank you very much, Wendy Dolber, for a superlative piece of writing, one which I will unhesitatingly recommend to all.
Told through the medium of Annie, one of Dr. Di Marsico's neighbors, as she grows from toddler to womanhood the reader is exposed to the wit, wisdom and ineffably compassionate and loving presence of a man whose life's work has been - to put it simply - the increase of human happiness and the elimination of unhappiness. Annie, the novel's voice, is the loveable, bright child of a profoundly dysfunctional and unhappy family: a masochistic, self-immersed mother, a domineering, esteem-eating grandmother and an absent and unreachable father. Already set by her family on a trajectory that would surely leave her a psychic casualty, Annie experiences a series of encounters with Bruce which change her thinking about herself and her surroundings, her beliefs about her right to happiness, and, ultimately, the course of her life.
This is a valuable book. Not simply an artfully written, delightfully engaging novel but a cornucopia of practical teachings about the nature of happiness, its absence and its attainability through an active, conscious choice, The Guru Next Door is one of the most important and inspiring (as well as fun and captivating) works that I have read in a very long time. Thank you very much, Wendy Dolber, for a superlative piece of writing, one which I will unhesitatingly recommend to all.
4 of 5 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback
I was fortunate to be a member of the last two-year class taught (just before his death) by Bruce Di Marsico, creator of the Option Method. But now, thanks to Wendy Dolber and her book, "The Guru Next Door," readers will be able to follow along as Bruce teaches and unravels the deceptively simple Option Method principles, to the great joy and benefit of Annie, the young 'heroine' of the book. I have long been convinced that Wendy Dolber would be a major force in carrying on Bruce's legacy, and "The Guru Next Door" is a wonderfully effective confirmation of that early conviction. The setting of a young girl first 'listening through the fence' then later sitting with Bruce as he questions her through her fears and frustrations, perfectly patterns the method Bruce used in his classes. Under Bruce's compassionate questioning, the Option Method emerges, seemingly with no effort. You'll discover, along with Annie, a powerful, life affirming Method that is so simple, even a child can do it! So, if you've been racing around, clutching for 'something' to calm your fear and anxiety, "The Guru Next Door" is a must read!
Raymond Gombach, Lightstar Foundation, Suffern, New York
Raymond Gombach, Lightstar Foundation, Suffern, New York
1 of 1 people found the following review helpful
Format:Paperback|Amazon Verified Purchase
This book is well written and very much worth reading. My comments have to do with the ideas it presents.
The Option Method seems to boil down to this: "Be happy (here's how), and do what you want."
The being happy part is spot on, and effective, and important.
But the behavior of two of the three characters in the book who practice the Option Method suggests that the "do what you want" dictum is insufficient. Something is missing. The fictional Eve, mother of the main character, makes an abrupt change without making sure that her loving adult daughter will know Eve is ok. Bruce Di Marsico, the true-life inventor of the Option Method, died young of the complications of diabetes, presumably worsened by his chain smoking and nonstop soda drinking.
"Do what you want" is an inadequate guide because what a person wants at a particular moment is not necessarily an authentic choice. It is affected by ads, by habit, by impulse, by ignorance, by imperfect happiness.
Being happy is great, but it cannot be the purpose of life, because happiness can be achieved pretty easily, once you know how. The moral impulse that seems to be hard-wired within all sane human beings suggests that the purpose of life is to do good (to everyone and as much as possible); each person has the challenge of figuring out what "doing good" means for them.
The Option Method, as presented in this book, does not offer any guidance in how to do good. What is worse is that the Option Method seems to argue that (since you can always be happy no matter what happens) it doesn't matter what you choose to do. In the real world, there are people who want to rob a bank, or want to start a forest fire, or want to rape a child--and who would be quite happy doing these things. Not all choices are equally good.
If the Option Method, instead, advised "Be happy, and do good (to everyone and as much as possible)," Eve might have looked for a way to reassure her daughter. Perhaps in real life Bruce would have put away the sodas and cigarettes as a way of being good to himself--and so might have lived and helped others for many more years.
The Option Method seems to boil down to this: "Be happy (here's how), and do what you want."
The being happy part is spot on, and effective, and important.
But the behavior of two of the three characters in the book who practice the Option Method suggests that the "do what you want" dictum is insufficient. Something is missing. The fictional Eve, mother of the main character, makes an abrupt change without making sure that her loving adult daughter will know Eve is ok. Bruce Di Marsico, the true-life inventor of the Option Method, died young of the complications of diabetes, presumably worsened by his chain smoking and nonstop soda drinking.
"Do what you want" is an inadequate guide because what a person wants at a particular moment is not necessarily an authentic choice. It is affected by ads, by habit, by impulse, by ignorance, by imperfect happiness.
Being happy is great, but it cannot be the purpose of life, because happiness can be achieved pretty easily, once you know how. The moral impulse that seems to be hard-wired within all sane human beings suggests that the purpose of life is to do good (to everyone and as much as possible); each person has the challenge of figuring out what "doing good" means for them.
The Option Method, as presented in this book, does not offer any guidance in how to do good. What is worse is that the Option Method seems to argue that (since you can always be happy no matter what happens) it doesn't matter what you choose to do. In the real world, there are people who want to rob a bank, or want to start a forest fire, or want to rape a child--and who would be quite happy doing these things. Not all choices are equally good.
If the Option Method, instead, advised "Be happy, and do good (to everyone and as much as possible)," Eve might have looked for a way to reassure her daughter. Perhaps in real life Bruce would have put away the sodas and cigarettes as a way of being good to himself--and so might have lived and helped others for many more years.
Most Recent Customer Reviews
a riveting tale...
Through the eyes of a pained young girl grappling with massive unhappiness in her home and personal life, we are blessed with the teachings of philosopher Bruce Di Marsico. Read more
Published 7 months ago by Valerie B. Gilbert
A fictional story about a real man
This is a moving, very readable fictional story of a young girl in a dysfunctional family with an unstable mother. Read more
Published on April 27, 2010 by Iona Tamsin Stewart
The Simplicity of Happiness
I just finished reading The Guru Next Door. I'm not surprised that it came into my life at a time when old and outdated messages about family can have a strong influence. Read more
Published on November 28, 2008 by Ethel Lee-Miller
Happiness is yours for the taking
The Guru Next Door
Although I never had the opportunity to meet Bruce DiMarsico I feel like I should know him. Read more
Although I never had the opportunity to meet Bruce DiMarsico I feel like I should know him. Read more
Published on August 20, 2008 by Leslie Webster
My favorite "beach read" this summer!
Thank you Wendy Dolber, for writing such a poetic, inspirational novel.
I couldn't put this book down, but at the same time I didn't want it to end either. Read more
I couldn't put this book down, but at the same time I didn't want it to end either. Read more
Published on August 11, 2008 by Mary Anne Christiano
A delightful blend of self-help and fiction
A delightful blend of self-help and fiction, "The Guru Next Door: A Teacher's Legacy" follows Annie as she deals with her highly dysfunctional family. Read more
Published on August 8, 2008 by Midwest Book Review
Unique, entertaining and inspiring....
I thoroughly enjoyed Ms.Dolber's book as both a novel and a self help guide. I knew nothing of the Option method, nor it's creator, before reading the book, but now wish to explore... Read more
Published on August 6, 2008 by P. Jordan
A Tribute to Author's Guru, Bruce De Marsico, and the Guru Within Us
Author of How to Negotiate Like a Pro: 41 Rules for Resolving Disputes and How to Mediate Like a Pro: 42 Rules for Mediating Disputes
Wendy Dolber has written The Guru... Read more
Wendy Dolber has written The Guru... Read more
Published on July 16, 2008 by mary greenwood
An important book about an important man
This was an important book for me. I had the wonderful opportunity to participate in several group sessions with Bruce in the mid-seventies and found him a profound presence and... Read more
Published on July 9, 2008 by Ken Stateman
A beautiful read...
One of the first things you'll notice shortly after you begin to read this book is the wonderful flow Wendy Dolber has achieved in it's writing. Read more
Published on May 14, 2008 by Mr. Howard Brown
Inside This Book
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Aunt Billy, New York, Christmas Eve, Wendy Dolber, Old Blue, Small's Deli, Bruce Di Marsico, Wendy Uolber, North Carolina, Madison Street, Guru Next Door, Christmas Day, New Jersey, Long Island Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
Aunt Billy, New York, Christmas Eve, Wendy Dolber, Old Blue, Small's Deli, Bruce Di Marsico, Wendy Uolber, North Carolina, Madison Street, Guru Next Door, Christmas Day, New Jersey, Long Island Browse Sample Pages:
Front Cover | Table of Contents | First Pages | Index | Back Cover | Surprise Me!
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