HELP! A Bear is Eating Me! [Paperback]

Mykle Hansen (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: February 26, 2008

Trapped in a remote Alaskan forest, pinned under his own SUV, gnawed upon by nature's finest predators, Marv Pushkin -- Corporate Warrior, Positive Thinker, Esquire subscriber -- waits impatiently for an ambulance and explains in detail the many reasons why this unfolding tragedy is everyone's fault but his own.

Editorial Reviews

From the Inside Flap

"Mykle Hansen's book is the Scarlet Letter, the Age of Innocence, the Wuthering Heights of books narrated by a guy being eaten by a bear -- The Last of the Motherfuckin' Mohican's of ursine mastication. Just sayin'." -CHRISTOPHER MOORE, author of Fool and A Dirty Job

"Brilliant, poignant, and utterly hilarious." -CARLTON MELLICK III, author of Satan Burger

"A satirical swan song for the secret reptile desires in every American heart...face-melting fun from first to last." -JEREMY ROBERT JOHNSON, author of Angel Dust Apocalypse and Extinction Journals

"A unique and memorable work of absurd humor." -LITERARY STRANGE DIGEST

Product Details

• Paperback: 132 pages
• Publisher: Eraserhead Press (February 26, 2008)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1933929693
• ISBN-13: 978-1933929699
• Product Dimensions: 8.6 x 5.5 x 0.4 inches
• Shipping Weight: 6.4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.0 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (54 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #33,481 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Famous Author Mykle Hansen is frequently described as "brilliant," "hilarious," "weird," "crazy," "insane" and "stalking me." He is the author of the short-story collection EYEHEART EVERYTHING, the tragicomic novel HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!, the novella collection RAMPAGING F*CKERS OF EVERYTHING ON THE CRAZY SHITTING PLANET OF THE VOMIT ATMOSPHERE, and the upcoming blockbuster MY PUBLISHER SAYS I'M DOING REALLY WELL WITH THE EXTREMELY LONG AND UNGAINLY BOOK TITLES SO HERE'S ANOTHER ONE. He is a noted exponent of the "Bizarro" movement in literature, film and personal hygiene. He is also a musician, carpenter, computer programmer, sculptor, tap dancer, bicyclist, martial artist, ordained minister and firm block of lightly deep-fried tofu.

Mr. Hansen resides with his family and friends within a magic bubble called Portland, Oregon, where everybody drinks coffee and rides bicycles and nothing bad ever happens. This is his first Amazon author biography.

http://mykle.com is a website you should only visit if you like kittens.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

64 of 67 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Help! A Bear is Eating Me!, December 2, 2008

By 

Jeff Burk (Portland, OR) - See all my reviews

This review is from: HELP! A Bear is Eating Me! (Paperback)

Marv Pushkin is a jerk. He is a greedy, drug-addicted, nature-hating, member of middle-management who cheats on his wife. He is also pinned beneath his SUV, loaded up with pain-killers, while a bear is eating him alive. So begins Mykle Hansen's comedic bizarro novel, "Help! A Bear is Eating Me!"

The ambitious premise of the book is that it takes place totally in the mind of Marv Pushkin while he is being eaten. There is very little action that takes place during the story but the character of Marv makes the book completely absorbing. Marv may be a jerk, but he is a charming, talented story-teller. This is a difficult literary trick to pull off, but Hansen succeeds with impressive ease.

Hansen has a strong and engrossing writing voice. In the hands of a less talented author, a book with this premise would totally fall flat. Instead, Hansen tells an addictive story that the reader will not be able to put down.

Hansen also gives the reader a lot to think about. Marv is a caricature of one of those corporate losers that everyone encounters. Using this kind of person as a main character, Hansen satirizes many aspects of modern living. Be it money, sex, or friendship, Marv is never satisfied with what he has and is completely consumed with a desire for more material wealth.

"Help! A Bear is Eating Me!" is a unique and memorable work of absurd humor. Mykle Hansen has crafted a fascinating character study of a thoroughly unlikable person. While the reader may not sympathize with Marv, it is hard to pull away from his plight.

29 of 30 people found the following review helpful:

4.0 out of 5 stars I Wasn't Always Being Eaten By a Bear., June 9, 2009

By 

almitchell "alex_says" (Roswell, GA USA) - See all my reviews

This review is from: HELP! A Bear is Eating Me! (Paperback)

Ironically I just bought this book at Powell's while on a trip to Portland. The title caught my eye, and after a quick flip through the pages I decided to buy it, and I am glad I did.

The story concerns one Marv Pushkin, slimy executive and all-around jerk, who has taken his team of underlings, the wife he hates, and the woman he's having an affair with on a Team Building trip to the wilds of Alaska. He is also trapped under his majestic and very expensive SUV. Oh, and he's being eaten by a bear.

The story is basically a stream of consciousness from the mind of Marv as he is eaten by a bear, consumes massive quantities of drugs and painkillers washed down with beer, suffers from withdrawals from his material world of success, imagines and reimagines his life as it has happened, and very slowly starts to slide into plain insanity. He describes his circumstances in a wonderfully outraged self-absorbed tone, and you slowly begin to learn that what Marv has convinced himself of is not necessarily what really happened, but it's done in a convincing way. The entire section where he is obsessing over his feet is priceless.

The book works as a very broad satire - Marv's voice is very original and very funny and resounds with the echoes of every scumbag executive you've ever seen or read about - but given how funny and creative the majority of the book was, I was disappointed in how it ended. It did fit the tone of the book, but it seemed a little rushed.

I thoroughly enjoyed it and I have already lent the book out to a friend. It's on my recommended reading list.

133 of 175 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars I am my own biggest fan!, December 18, 2008

By 

mykle - See all my reviews

This review is from: Help! A Bear Is Eating Me! (Kindle Edition)

Yes! I love my books! I love them more than I love my own cat!

Some authors are cruel to their books. They ignore them, or lock them in closets, or give free copies of them to awful people. I am not like that. Every single copy of every one of my books is my favorite book in the whole world! And with this new Kindle edition of HELP! A BEAR IS EATING ME!, my love can now transmit itself effortlessly across space and time, like a tiny silver thread that runs from the center of my brain out my window, into the sky, flying up to Seattle, snaking through the Amazon server farm, rippling out to a cell tower, shooting through the aether, plunging into your new Amazon Kindle's non-volatile memory, slithering up through its gorgeous e-ink screen and stabbing directly into your eyeballs. That's why, when you blink, my leg twitches! And I call that love.