Habeas Corpses [Hardcover]

Wm. Mark Simmons (Author), William Mark Simmons (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: November 1, 2005

Two years ago Christopher Csejthe survived a blood transfusion with a vampire only to discover that he was infected with one of the two viruses that transform the living into the undead. Since then he has survived his wits as men, monsters, and government agencies have hunted him for his mutated blood. His personal life is almost as troublesome as the assassins turning up in ever increasing numbers: his bodyguard is a sexy vampire, his jealous werewolf lover can't abide his touch after a silver bullet poisons his blood, and the ghost of his dead wife is still hanging around. Someone is sending him grotesque messages in the form of dismembered body parts that are still alive! Then, an assassin's bullet knocks Csejthe out of his body and into the afterlife to meet an evil spawned in Nazi Germany. An evil kept alive through genetic manipulation and nanotechnology and waiting only for Csejthe's blood to overcome the last hurdle to immortality!

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Wm. Mark Simmons is the author of six novels; his first, In The Net of Dreams, was a finalist for the Compton Crook Award and made the Locus "Best" list in 1991. For Baen, he inaugurated a new fantasy series, which began with One Foot in the Grave, followed by Dead on My Feet, and now by Habeas Corpses. Simmons has worked as a teacher, actor, director, musician, and entertainer, hosting his own shows on both television and radio while winning awards as a journalist and copywriter. He currently manages a public radio station in Louisiana and hosts a classical music program. --This text refers to the Mass Market Paperback edition.

Product Details

• Hardcover: 416 pages
• Publisher: Baen (November 1, 2005)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1416509135
• ISBN-13: 978-1416509134
• Product Dimensions: 9.1 x 6.3 x 1.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 1.2 pounds
• Average Customer Review: 4.4 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (15 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #337,792 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

7 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars "Spook softly, Junior, and carry a big shtick", November 12, 2005

By 

Dennis E. Smirl (Topeka, KS USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Habeas Corpses (Hardcover)

The headline isn't mine. It belongs to page 228 of one of the funniest, strangest, and scariest books I've read in a long time. With "Habeas Corpses", Wm. Mark Simmons extends the run of Chris Csejthe, a half-finished vampire who also has other problems - things like a touch of demon blood in his veins, a smattering of dissolved silver in his body, a fiance who just happens to be a werewolf, and a neighboring graveyard in which the dead come to life at night and want to borrow his books. Add to that the growing knowledge - among all the 'wrong people', of course - that his blood contains a rujuvenating factor - perhaps even an immortality factor - and you have a novel in which the hero spends a lot more time being chased by the bad guys than the other way around.
Even more interesting than a marvelously contorted plot line, a cast of characters that would make most horror moviemakers pull their hair with envy, and a plethora of puns that can only be described as ranging from the good through the bad to the ugly, Simmons overlays the story with a philosophy of life - and death - that finally becomes downright frightening.
"Habeas Corpses" is the third novel in a series that gets better with each iteration, and should provide several hours of prime-time entertainment to anyone who enjoys an inspired mix of fantasy and science fiction.

6 of 7 people found the following review helpful:

3.0 out of 5 stars Pun After Pun After Pun After Pun After Pun After Pun After Pun..., September 1, 2006

By 

Marc Ruby™ "The Noh Hare™" (Warren, MI USA) - See all my reviews
(VINE VOICE)    (HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)   

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This review is from: Habeas Corpses (Hardcover)

William Simmons first book in this series was a very successful parody of the vampire genre. Christopher Csejthe, reeling from the loss of his wife and child winds up in the clutches of a well-meaning vampire with the end result that he is half way to being a vampire himself - a vampire notwannabe if you will. In the ensuing stories Chris gets infected by a werewolf bite (making him a dhampyre notwannabe). When he manages to do away with Erzebet Bathory, the master of New York, Chris has only one choice - to take over the rule of the city before someone kills him for it. Ever hapless, he decides he knows better and, to put it plainly, runs away to Louisiana.

As you can probably predict, living a creaky old house by a zombie filled graveyard with your werewolf girlfriend and a drop dead gorgeous recovering vampire is not conducive to long-term peace. In no time at all Csejthe is receiving living body parts in the mail and unexpected visits by giant cyborgs intent on remodeling the neighborhood. Bad things happen to good people and Chris is off to New York to face the responsibilities he has been hiding from. But vampire politics aside Chris also discovers that a group of revenant Nazi's are determined to use his blood in their quest for eternal life. Enter Dr. Mengele and the valkyries.

I'm going to get beaten up for this but I found Simmons writing more irritating than funny this time around. I don't want you to get the impression that I like being sarcastically critical. I would much rather get sucked into a great book and write gushingly enthusiastic reviews. But what was a good thing in a thin volume wears less well when the author remains determined to write exactly one kind of book time after time. The books, of course, getting heavier and more expensive. Writing and characters have to develop and Habeas Corpses only offers iteration. Chris Csejthe causes 90% of his problems and I find main characters who cannot manage their own lives are a drag.

In addition, it quickly becomes clear that the puns and in-jokes were written first and the plot is really an effort to set them up. Be aware that you need to be over 50 or a horror film geek or you will miss much of the book's humor. Also be prepared for a lot of stereotype jokes. This works in moderation in a book that is genuinely funny on its own, but when it is pasted on over a plot that doesn't always flow the laughs begin to taper off. I'm not sure if this book will make it to paperback, but I'd wait for it to get there before buying it.

5 of 6 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars A fun third instalment of the half life of Chris Cséjthe, November 23, 2005

By 

K. Maxwell "katmax1" (Sydney, Australia) - See all my reviews

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This review is from: Habeas Corpses (Hardcover)

Chris Cséjthe is now Doman of the New York vampire enclave. However, his problems are far from over as repeated assassination attempts show. When one attempt is successful enough to part Chris's spirit from his body he learns more about his own abilities and the afterlife than he ever bargained for. He also finds out that not all the horrors in the world are birthed from normal "monsters" or have fangs attached.

This has been an enjoyable third outing of Chris's half life adventures. The story has some unexpected twists and turns. Chris's character also grows and learns and the story is chock full of pop culture references, puns and literary quotes. It makes me look forward to more books in this series. For a reasonably light hearted, semi-vampire novel with a likeable central character these books are worth picking up for a read.