Hammerhead Ranch Motel [Mass Market Paperback]

Tim Dorsey (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: May 29, 2001

There's a different schemer or slimeball behind every door: cocaine duckpins who have survived only by the dumbest fortune, hard-luck gigolos desperate to score, undercover cops busting undercover cops who are running sting operations on undercover cops. And just down the row, local historian and spree killer Serge A. Storms -- who has stopped keeping up with his meds -- is still looking for a briefcase stuffed with five million dollars...and is now capable of wreaking more havoc than hurricane Rolando-berto, the big wind gathering force offshore, just waiting for the opportunity to blow everything straight to hell.

Pack up your bags and head south to sunny Florida. Leave your rational mind at home and come well armed. There's a room with your number on it at the Hammerhead Ranch Motel.

Editorial Reviews

Amazon.com Review

Penzler Pick, August 2000: Is it Florida, or is it the mystery writers who set their stories there? There seems to be a tradition of Florida noir that is as loony as that name implies. Tim Dorsey is the newest writer from the Sunshine State whose stories are inhabited by a cast of characters who, in any other state, would probably be behind bars. In Dorsey's world, not only are they roaming free, they are also wreaking havoc with impunity up and down the peninsula.

In his first book, Florida Roadkill, Dorsey introduced us to several characters who are still at large as his second story begins. Serge A. Storms is a spree killer and Florida history buff, still looking for the five million dollars that's stashed in the trunk of a Chrysler--unbeknownst to the driver--somewhere in the state. Johnny Vegas is a playboy who, because catastrophic events always seem to get in the way, has yet to lose his virginity. Also along for the zany ride is 90-year-old Mrs. Edna Ploomfield, who blows away a man delivering her flowers and chocolates; a DJ who changed his name legally to Boris the Hateful Piece of BLEEP so that he would not be BLEEPED on the air every time he used the name; and Safety Officer Chester "Porkchop" Dole who watches the monitors on the Sunshine Skyway Bridge. Along with a dancing Chihuahua who forecasts the weather, the Diaz Boys, Harvey Fiddlebottom, undercover cops, and a variety of oddballs, they will congregate in or around the seediest place never to have been shut down, the Hammerhead Ranch Motel on the Gulf of Mexico. There, they will play out their lunacy as Hurricane Rolando-berto bears down on them. This is a wonderful summertime read, relentlessly funny and impossible to put down. --Otto Penzler --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

From Publishers Weekly

HWith this followup to Florida Roadkill, Dorsey places himself in the ranks of Laurence Shames and Carl Hiassen as a writer of hilarious, violent farces set in Florida. A loopy energy fills this A-ticket trip among the bridges, sailboats, seedy dives, dysfunctional families and drug deals of Tampa Bay. In the prologue alone, a college student falls through the glass dome of the Florida Aquarium; aged but feisty Mrs. Edna Ploomfield fights a gun battle with a shotgun-toting drug dealer; coitally challenged playboy Johnny Vegas has his Porsche flattened by a truck; and a man in a Santa Claus suit torches a car on the Sunshine Skyway Bridge before jumping into the sea. Later, we meet Lenny, inveterate pothead and sometime 'gator wrestler, whose exploits turn up in the Weekly Mail of the News World; Alabama-bred blonde Ingrid Praline, whose "giant Lolita package gave men hemorrhagic fever"; panicky pilot Bananas Foster; and many more zany characters. After Dorsey introduces a white Chrysler and a metal briefcase with $5 million in it, fans will not be surprised when demented killer Serge A. Storm of Florida Roadkill shows up, kicking off a long parade of crazies, most of whom end up in the motel of the title during a hurricane (and a VCR viewing of Key Largo) in the novel's wild finale. Until then, joke follows joke like a 50-car pileup, in a plot that can feel like a game of 52-pickup; it's as if Dorsey chopped up his narrative into one- and two-page segments, threw them on the floor and published them in the resulting nonorder. The story loops backwards and forward in time: halfway through the book, for example, come the scenes that set up the wild prologue. But Dorsey's temporal convolutions do not impede momentum: instead, they encourage readers to hang on for the ride. And a delightfully giddy ride it is, ending with the promise of more craziness to come. (Aug.)
Copyright 2000 Reed Business Information, Inc. --This text refers to an out of print or unavailable edition of this title.

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Product Details

• Mass Market Paperback: 384 pages
• Publisher: HarperTorch (May 29, 2001)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 0380732343
• ISBN-13: 978-0380732340
• Product Dimensions: 6.9 x 4.4 x 1 inches
• Shipping Weight: 8 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.2 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (62 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #64,406 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Tim Dorsey was a reporter and editor for the Tampa Tribune from 1987 to 1999 and is the author of ten previous novels: Florida Roadkill, Hammerhead Ranch Motel, Orange Crush, Triggerfish Twist, The Stingray Shuffle, Cadillac Beach, Torpedo Juice, The Big Bamboo, Hurricane Punch, and Atomic Lobster. He lives in Tampa, Florida.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

15 of 17 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Top notch, July 17, 2001

By 

magellan (Santa Clara, CA) - See all my reviews
(HALL OF FAME REVIEWER)    (COMMUNITY FORUM 04)    (TOP 1000 REVIEWER)   

This review is from: Hammerhead Ranch Motel (Mass Market Paperback)

I've read all of Christopher Moore, Carl Hiaasen, Bill Fitzhugh, and John Welter's books, when I encountered Tim Dorsey, and what a delightful surprise it was, as I hadn't really heard or seen much about him before, compared to the above writers.

If you're a fan of any of the above, and especially of Hiaasen, then you'll like Dorsey too, especially this book. I rank this novel with the best of Hiaasen, and in fact it's probably the best thing I've read in the genre in some time.

I would recommend you read Florida Roadkill first, as some of the same characters appear also in Hammerhead Ranch, especially Serge, who I would also say is the most memorable character to come along since Skink in Hiaasen's books. As another reviewer here said, one can't help but wonder what would have happened if Skink had met Serge.

Florida Roadkill is also excellent, but Hammerhead Ranch is even better, but it's still worthwhile reading as it's sort of a prequel to Hammerhead Ranch. Not the least of its merits is that the character, Serge, is introduced in Florida Roadkill, and has a major role in both books.

There are many similarities between the two authors, perhaps not surprising since they write for neighboring newspapers in south Florida. If anything, Dorsey's books are even more darkly satirical than Hiaasen's, and I would also say his books are more violent too. There are lots of bad guys in his books, and very few good guys. The bad guys are always scamming, swindling, and otherwise preying on each other, and as there's no honor among thieves, the dead body count in a Dorsey book is pretty impressive by the time you reach the end.

To sum up, this is a very funny book, and the book's main idea is really great, so I'll describe it briefly here. Almost every room at the Hammerhead Ranch is occupied by some sort of criminal, ranging from low-life scumbags to more high-powered criminal elements, who are using the Ranch as their base of operations. Several of the residents are trying to find each other so they can steal the money in the briefcase (you'll be hearing plenty about the briefcase) but don't yet know that they're both operating out of the Ranch.

Anyway, Dorsey came up with a great idea and makes the most of it to create a very funny book. Definitely worth your time and money.

8 of 9 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Very Funny, July 17, 2000

By 

ppm - See all my reviews

This review is from: Hammerhead Ranch Motel (Hardcover)

In his sequel to Florida Roadkill, Tim Dorsey kept me up all night turning the pages so fast that I got paper cuts. Serge is back, and with a new and improved Coleman-type character, Hammerhead Ranch Motel quickly recaptures the dark but irresistable humor of the first book. The only complaint I have is that it's harder to follow the characters in this book, but Dorsey manages to get everyone together in the wonderful and unpredictable finale. I'd have to say that as a Florida resident, I love the way this book makes fun of everything corrupt about Florida- very Carl Hiiasen! However, you don't need to be from Florida to appreciate the humor and satire that Dorsey churns out, and everyone will love the eclectic group of characters that spill out of the pages. All the great characters that made it alive throught the last novel are back - Sean and David, Johnny Vegas, and my favorite criminally insane Floridaphile, Serge. Dorsey brings in new characters that are a delight, from bad guys you can't help but love, to the good guys that are, to say the least, a little eccentric. So, buy this book, but don't start reading it unless you have a lot of free time, because you won't be able to put it down.

10 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Serge and Johnny Vegas Return!, February 1, 2001

By 

Dayton Ward (Kansas City, Missouri USA) - See all my reviews
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This review is from: Hammerhead Ranch Motel (Hardcover)

Just as with Dorsey's first novel, I found myself laughing at loud at the nonstop, bizarre antics of the freakiest collection of characters I've seen since...well, since the last time I was in Florida. Reading about the trials and tribulations of Johnny Vegas is a hoot, but it's Serge, the psychopath with scruples, that really makes the book. A distinct improvement over "Florida Roadkill" is the fact that this time around, the plot does not take a backseat to the characters. Instead, the story and the players weave together quite effectively.

Being a Tampa native, I was once again drawn in by Dorsey's descriptions the city and the surrounding areas. It's as if the AAA Travel Club rep shotgunned a six-pack of Surge before sitting down to write a travel guide. Completely enthralling and at times hysterical, I thought I was walking the streets of my hometown all over again.

Though it's not as completely off the charts of lunacy as "Florida Roadkill," it's still a frenetic, wildly entertaining read.

Bring on the next one!