Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life [Paperback]

Karen Maezen Miller (Author)

Book Description

Publication Date: April 13, 2010

It’s easy to think that meaning, fulfillment, and bliss are “out there,” somewhere outside of our daily routine. But in this playful yet profound reflection on awareness, the compelling voice of a contemporary woman reveals the happiness at the bottom of the laundry basket, the love in the kitchen sink, and the peace possible in one’s own backyard. Follow Karen Maezen Miller through youthful ambition and self-absorption, beyond a broken marriage, and into the steady calm of a so-called ordinary life. In her hands, household chores and caregiving tasks become opportunities for self-examination, lessons in relationship, and liberating moments of selflessness. With attention, it’s the little things — even the unexpected, unpleasant, and unwanted things — that count.

Editorial Reviews

From Publishers Weekly

Miller (Momma Zen) uses daily household chores—laundry, kitchen, yard—to demonstrate timeless Buddhist principles. The skillful weaving of personal anecdotes, a few Zen terms, and acute insights—sometimes addressing the reader directly—distinguish this book from others in the genre. Miller, a Zen priest and student of the late Maezumi Roshi, argues for the faultless wisdom of following instructions when going about the mundane activities that form the substance of everyday life. Candid about some of the difficulties of her past, Miller stresses the importance of changing perceptions, which can lead to more beneficial outcomes for oneself and others: All practice is the practice of making a turn in a different direction. The book wears its Zen lightly; indeed, Miller skates over the years of study—as well as the decision to become a priest—that undoubtedly ground her current perspectives. By choosing to focus on the conclusions rather than the process of her Zen journey, Miller has tilted her writing more toward self-help/advice than spirituality/religion. This disarming book is full of deft and reassuring observations. (May 7)
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About the Author

Karen Maezen Miller is an errant wife, delinquent mother, reluctant dog walker, and expert laundress, as well as a Zen Buddhist priest and teacher, or sensei, at the Hazy Moon Zen Center in Los Angeles. She offers retreats and workshops around the country.

Product Details

• Paperback: 200 pages
• Publisher: New World Library; 1ST edition (April 13, 2010)
• Language: English
• ISBN-10: 1577319044
• ISBN-13: 978-1577319047
• Product Dimensions: 7.9 x 4.9 x 0.5 inches
• Shipping Weight: 7.2 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
• Average Customer Review: 4.8 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (33 customer reviews)
• Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #52,927 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

More About the Author

Karen Maezen Miller calls herself an errant wife, delinquent mother, reluctant dog walker, expert laundress and stationmaster of the full catastrophe. In real life, she is a Zen Buddhist priest at the Hazy Moon Zen Center in Los Angeles. She and her family live in Sierra Madre, California, with a century-old Japanese garden in their backyard. Her first book, Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, was published in 2006. Her second, Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life, was published in 2010.

Customer Reviews

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

28 of 28 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars 'Care Instructions for An Ordinary Life' Says It All, April 12, 2010

By 

L. Erickson "Mommy Mystic" (Los Angeles, CA) - See all my reviews
(TOP 500 REVIEWER)    (REAL NAME)   

This review is from: Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life (Paperback)

The subtitle of this book 'care instructions for an ordinary life' really says it all. As a mother, I am a fan of Ms. Miller's first book, Momma Zen: Walking the Crooked Path of Motherhood, and was looking forward to this one. And it doesn't disappoint, although it is a very different book. In this book, Ms. Miller applies her samurai-like pen - and insight - to topics beyond motherhood, including divorce, marriage, aging (and dying) parents, gardening, and of course, laundry.

Ms. Miller is a Zen practitioner and priest, but you shouldn't read or not-read this book based on any preconceptions you may have about that. Although every sentence shines with Zen wisdom, you won't find descriptions of what Zen is or isn't, or what practices you should or shouldn't do. Instead this reads like a memoir, as Ms. Miller 'excavates' her past - parts of her childhood, her relationship with her parents, the break-up of her first marriage, and the personal darkness that eventually led her to a Zen retreat with Maezumi Roshi, who became her teacher. She shares her journey to becoming 'happy and whole' again, and then writes about living from this wisdom on a day to day basis, in her current marriage, in her parenting, in her gardening and housework and writing career - in all the elements of her 'ordinary life'.

Ms. Miller is an extraordinary writer, and uses the idea of doing our own laundry as a metaphor for our spiritual work throughout the book, without it ever becoming trite (although as the prior reviewer mentioned, it's also NOT a metaphor - she is really talking about doing our own laundry too!) She excels at pinpointing her own past delusions, and thus helps us see our own. She manages to be both an everywoman and a Zen priest, but as a reader you never feel like you are being conned or preached to. It's a breath of fresh air, really.

Can you tell I liked this book? It really was a joy to read, both because of the personal sharing and the writing. I think almost anyone, especially any woman, would enjoy reading it. And if you are interested in Zen, well, this is living Zen.

12 of 12 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Gentle Yet Powerful, April 14, 2010

By 

w. cook "lifted-lorax" (northern va) - See all my reviews

This review is from: Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life (Paperback)

Once again I'm deeply moved by Karen Maezen Miller. I read her first book when my son was a wee babe and I loved it so much that I begged her for a Mom to Mom interview. Her new book, "hand wash cold: care instructions for an ordinary life" is equally magnificent. In this book, Karen shares more about her life and the path that lead her to becoming a Buddhist priest while unveiling the deeper meaning in seemingly ordinary moments. Her personal life lessons are beautifully transformed into teachings. With tenderness, humor and wisdom, Karen illustrates that happiness can't be found in constantly reaching for the next rung, but by turning to look at the view right where you are.

"Happiness is simple", she writes, "Everything we do to find it is complicated."

How can something so gentle be so powerful?

9 of 10 people found the following review helpful:

5.0 out of 5 stars Washing Out the Stains: Not a Metaphor, April 4, 2010

By 

Donna Quesada "Author of Buddha in the Classroom" (Culver City, CA USA) - See all my reviews
(REAL NAME)   

Amazon Verified Purchase

This review is from: Hand Wash Cold: Care Instructions for an Ordinary Life (Paperback)

I received my long-awaited copy of Hand Wash Cold in the mail last week, and read it in two days. Unlike Karen Maezen Miller's first book, Momma Zen, it is not full of endearing anecdotes about the challenges of late-in-life motherhood. But like Momma Zen, it is abounding with the same honest wisdom, and narrated in the same gentle voice.

Here, in her second book, we take a glimpse into her life before she became Momma Zen. It was the life that led, as if unavoidably, to the wisdom shared in both books. It was the life that led her to the decision to take her Zen priest's vows. The life that led her to the unprompted decision to take her life back. It is intimate, but delicate; beautifully written, but simply told; wise, but unpretentious; detailed, but tasteful. As might be expected from a Zen priest, her story carries with it the flavor of Zen, but never, as the Zen expression goes, does she "stink the place up." The hard-won lessons and timeless Zen insights are seamlessly braided into her own candid story - an autobiographical narrative, that reads like novel.

Like Proust's madeleine, just the sniff or taste of something from our past can launch us into another time and place, as if by some magical time-machine. For Miller, it was the lingering smell that was unleashed when she stumbled upon a long-forgotten bag of old clothes in her attic. It was the catalyst of a flood of recollections that rushed to the surface in all their intensity, and with all the wistfulness and pain that memories are wont to bring. It was in a very real way, the starting point of the story she shares with us in Hand Wash Cold, and the beginning of the journey that led her to discover the joy that was there all along. In this very readable, wise little book, Karen Maezen Miller shows us the way to our own joy.