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A Handbook for Engaged Couples Paperback – February 15, 1996


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Product Details

  • Paperback: 92 pages
  • Publisher: IVP Connect; Revised edition (February 15, 1996)
  • Language: English
  • ISBN-10: 0830819789
  • ISBN-13: 978-0830819782
  • Product Dimensions: 5.5 x 0.2 x 8.2 inches
  • Shipping Weight: 4 ounces (View shipping rates and policies)
  • Average Customer Review: 4.1 out of 5 stars  See all reviews (26 customer reviews)
  • Amazon Best Sellers Rank: #274,324 in Books (See Top 100 in Books)

Editorial Reviews

About the Author

Alice Fryling is an active church member, a spiritual director, and the author of nine books. She has given numerous workshops and retreats seeking to help evangelicals know God and themselves more deeply. Alice served on the campus staff of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship and is married to Bob Fryling, publisher of InterVarsity Press. They have two married daughters and three grandchildren.

Robert A. (Bob) Fryling is publisher of InterVarsity Press (Westmont, Illinois) and Vice President of InterVarsity Christian Fellowship (Madison, Wisconsin). He writes, speaks and teaches in the areas of spiritual formation, leadership, Christian faith and culture. He lives in Illinois with his wife, Alice, an author and spiritual director. Together they have co-authored three books.

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Customer Reviews

I recommend this as a part of Christian pre-marital counseling.
Paul H
You're best to buy two copies, with each person reading a portion (set up in topical chapters with discussion questions).
A.Trendl HungarianBookstore.com
At first I was really disappointed about the size but since we have started it I have loved this book!
Amanda J. Heinsman

Most Helpful Customer Reviews

39 of 41 people found the following review helpful By A.Trendl HungarianBookstore.com TOP 1000 REVIEWERVINE VOICE on September 10, 1999
Format: Paperback
I'm not engaged, or even close to being engaged. Nonetheless, I found the Frylings' handbook refreshing and honest about communications and expectations among couples. I bought it on a whim, having heard that the Frylings do not sugarcoat reality in their presentation. My own relationship was floundering and I needed direction. I wish I had bought it several months earlier!

While written from a evangelical Christian perspective, it has that special universality of truth for every couple looking to understand and to communicate with their mate or future spouse.

I can see it being read alone for personal growth, with your fiance, or even the two of you with a counselor or older, wiser friend. Better yet, try going through this (be ready to be challenged!) with a married couple who seems to "have it together."

Catholics will love it as an addition to their time spent in pre-marital counseling. You're best to buy two copies, with each person reading a portion (set up in topical chapters with discussion questions).

Though I'm one who has never been married, I believe it would be great for a couple married several years as well, helping re-ground your marriage. Don't think of this as just a tool to get your spouse to open up, but as a mutual opportunity to renew the love which drew you to marriage in the first place.

This book is no panacea, but it can assist a new beginning, or a careful grounding for a future marriage.

For you single guys (and gals) get a copy of "A Handbook for Engaged Couples" and read it. It'll help you (and me) relate to anyone you might consider saying "I do" with on an altar someday.

(post-script: I have since been engaged, and can further attest to this book's usefulness, having been happily married now since 2004).

Anthony Trendl
editor, HungarianBookstore.com
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19 of 19 people found the following review helpful By K. Chism on March 2, 2010
Format: Paperback
I was really excited to try this book with my fiance. I looked at so many books for engaged couples, but most were just that; books that you read. I really wanted a workbook that we did together that brought up topics we should discuss and showed us ways to work out problems that would arise in our relationship. The first few chapters were good, I was impressed by the first chapter on the roles of marriage and the chapter on problem solving, but the rest were so superficial. I already knew most of what my fiance was going to say. I know how we like to spend our free time, what his childhood was like and how many kids each of us wanted to have. All in all, I felt that it could have gone a lot deeper. If you don't know the answers to the questions, or haven't discussed these topics yet, you haven't known each other long enough to be getting married. A better time to do this study is when you first decided to take your relationship to a committed, serious level, not when you've already made the decision to dedicate the rest of your lives to each other. Nothing seems to replace time spent with a pastor or counselor.
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6 of 6 people found the following review helpful By Jason S. Allen on March 8, 2007
Format: Paperback
I really liked this book. Our pastor got us to purchase it as a part of our premarital counseling. It has a short ammount of information that gets straight to the point in each chapter (2 or 3 pages), and then it has at least a page, if not two, of great discussion questions. The questions are deep and thought provoking. They challenge the couple to really deal with the issues at hand. The information is short, but impactful. The book also has a great, natural flow. I love it!
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9 of 11 people found the following review helpful By Larry Roberts on August 1, 2000
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
I have used this book for premarital counseling for several years. I can give one to each person and use it as a "get started" tool to help in counseling. It provides a very good scriptural groundwork for our sessions. It also covers some hard-to-counsel areas very well.
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1 of 1 people found the following review helpful By sassy shopper on March 10, 2011
Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
This handbook is smaller than I imagined (stapled spine, very thin), but contains information and exercises that completely exceed my expectations! This concise book has excellent readings, as well as questions to lead discussions. It ties in Christianity and is truly a gift to any couple that is trying to build their relationship on Christ. I noticed a reviewing saying that this was better for new couples, but I honestly think It is most appropriate for a couple who is engaged/looking to become engaged. I strongly recommend this handbook for anyone who wants to become closer and build a solid foundation before making the commitment of a lifetime.
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Format: Paperback
At first I was really disappointed about the size but since we have started it I have loved this book!
It covers a wide variety of topics and it asks thoughtful questions. There are good Christian principles behind this book but it does not make the all too common mistake of telling every couple to be the same way.
The book is not going to tell you how to be engaged or be married but it sets up things that you must discuss and that will be important to your marriage.
The authors are very insightful and give good Christian morality as well!
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Format: Paperback Verified Purchase
My boyfriend, then fiance, now husband and I really enjoyed reading through this book before we got married. Although we had discussed many of the topics presented already, we liked the fact that this book outlined all the major areas when it comes to communication in marriage. We have used it since we have gotten married as well, to make sure we're staying on track or when we feel we could be communicating better to make sure we are using best practices. This is a great one to add to your library!
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